The Old Cliche is TRUE - Why You Should KNOW What It Says!

I found out a few days ago that a good friend of mine lost his job.... Well, he has two weeks notice, so he still has a few days of work to go. Just another symptom of the downturn in the economy....

So he's planning to take the opportunity to pursue some of his life's dreams....

Your dream could be anything! Do you want to start your own cafe? Do you want to start your own dolphin birthing center? Or do you want to form your own music band?

As the old cliche says, WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY.... This old cliche is TRUE, whoever coined it knew what he or she was talking about!

If there's nothing else in life to remember, it's good to remember that every coin has two sides!

Is the glass half full, or half empty?

Some people go through life looking at the half empty glass.... Muttering about how it is never full. It is always at least empty to SOME degree!

But then, there's another type of person.... This person sees every glass as half full. Even if there's only a little dribble of water in the glass, it's still ON ITS WAY to becoming full!

So, let's say you've been downsized... Life looks pretty bleak. But guess what? This might be the chance you've been waiting for, to actually have the time to start your own business!

There's a GREAT book out there.... It's a book called.... I'll tell you what it's called later. First I'll tell you something that's in it....

It teaches that, according to studies, OPTIMISTS are MORE SUCCESSFUL in life than pessimists! Pessimists sell themselves short....

They see the glass as always partly empty, and can't see that it could be on its way to becoming full!

But the optimist, they see that the glass is always partly full.... By noticing that, they can see ways of helping the glass become more and more full!

It's a matter of perception.... But that perception can mean a whole lot.... The difference between a wonderful, fulfilled life, full of joy, wonder, and SUCCESS.... Or the alternative....

The book I'm talking about is LEARNED OPTIMISM by Martin Seligman....

I know which of the two options I'm choosing! :)

Dien Rice

P.S. Thank you for those who have told me -- both on the forum and in email -- that you enjoy the Sowpub forums.... Your comments mean a lot to me, and show me that what we have going here is something very special.... It's truly a seed worth growing.... :)

Or, as George Carlin would say--the glass is too damn big. :-)

But from the perspective you shared, that would be a good thing...give me one of those huge beer glasses, and put a dribble in it--lots of room for improvement, lots of space to fill it with wonderful experiences, success, etc.

I like this perspective--if the glass is full, we become content. We stop searching for ways to improve our lives because there "seems" to be no room for improvement anway. We get in a rut. Why bother seeking out new adventures when we have all we can handle right in front of us?

Another way to think about it--imagine if we had a glass half-full of Coke. If you wanted to fill your glass, what would you do? Put more Coke in it? That's a possibility. But you could also make life more exciting by filling the other half with Whiskey. Or ice cream. Or maybe just add some ice cubes.

You don't like Coke to begin with? Give the Coke to someone who would appreciate it, and pour yourself something you would like. When that particular glass becomes half empty/full, then you know you are just moments away from your next adventure. What will you pour in your glass next?

Life is an adventure--don't worry about whether the glass is half empty or half full--think about what you want to "drink" next. :-)

Becky

p.s. I love this forum, Dien. Keep up the good work!

pps. Martin Seligman--is this the same Seligman who developed the Learned Helplessness theory? Very interesting!


Add your two cents here...

Hi Becky!

> Life is an adventure--don't worry about
> whether the glass is half empty or half
> full--think about what you want to
> "drink" next. :-)

Becky, I loved your post! (By the way, Becky has a great forum herself.... I just checked it out. It's a great place to go to catch more of her insightful and learned comments... :) )

Oh yes.... I like the idea of pouring myself new glasses of things to drink.... My brother (Thomas) has accused me of this before... He said he's noticed that with me, once I figure out how to succeed at something, I end up doing something else... I guess it's true that I like to set myself new challenges in life.... But enough about me. (Fallen asleep yet? :))

I've been reading lately about "serial entrepreneurs" -- people who have started many businesses, sometimes in all sorts of different areas. I wrote about one of them recently, someone who had started many businesses, mostly in retail....

Probably Richard Branson is the world's most famous "serial entrepreneur" - the "Virgin Group" is supposed to consist of something like 200 different businesses! From airlines, to bridal wear, to financial services, to soft drinks....!!!!

And there's also an interesting lady I've read about, who has started several different businesses too....

I guess the reason I like to read about these people is that partly, I can see myself doing the same thing.... I like new challenges, I don't feel the same satisfaction from doing over and over things which I already know I do well.... I realize I'll probably be more "successful" in life if I stick to one thing, but then I won't be sampling from life's vast smorgasbord of experience.... :)

Anyway, this approach may not be the most efficient in life, but it can be fun.... :)

Thanks Becky, I loved your analogy... You are like an analogy master! :) I still remember your post about the hunters and the hunted....!

I know Gordon has this tendency too.... Maybe that's one of the reasons I respect him so much.... He's succeeded not only on the internet, but also in sales in other areas, with his resumes business, with his "off key singing telegram" service, and also as a social worker.... I admire people who are so diverse like that... :)

And Becky, I'm fascinated to learn about your areas of knowledge too... Psychology is not only important, it is also FASCINATING! :)

> p.s. I love this forum, Dien. Keep up the
> good work!

Thanks Becky.... It's really thanks to all of us.... I just hope I can make a nice atmosphere, conducive to good discussions.... :)

> pps. Martin Seligman--is this the same
> Seligman who developed the Learned
> Helplessness theory? Very interesting!

I don't know if it's the same Seligman or not... I think Martin Seligman is an academic, though, so it could be!

- Dien

Hi Dien,

I like to "sample" a lot of stuff too. My family laughs at me since I am always trying to figure out what other areas I should get degrees in (i.e., biology, biochemistry, etc). Of course that is just one example--I like to run all over different areas in my life and do new things. I think we are happier and well-rounded that way. :) And you know what? That IS what makes us successful--that we are doing what we want, instead of doing what we "should."

Now for a note about Martin Seligman--he developed a learned helplessness theory through a series of experiments on dogs (yes, this was before we had ethics boards).

He placed these dogs in a little pen from which they couldn't escape. Then he sent mild shocks through the floor. At first the dogs jumped around in an attempt to avoid the shock, and obviously they looked for an escape route. Upon finding none, most dogs ended up whining helplessly.

Next Seligman placed these same dogs in the same pen--except this time there was an escape. When the shocks started, the dogs nearly immediately just whined--they didn't bother looking for an escape because they didn't find one last time = learned helplessness.

From this, Seligman hyothesized that people who become depressed may be going through the same thing--they aren't looking for a solution to their problems because previous experience suggested there isn't one. He further hypothesizes that a solution can be right under their nose (just like with the dogs having an escape)--but they don't see it because they feel helpless.

And this, I suppose, is why it is so important to "think out of the box." :-)

Becky

...Seligman's theory isn't used as widely as when it first originated. Now we talk more about illusion of control, superstitious behavior, attributions, and other "stuff." But still, an interesting theory.

Becky

Wow, Becky, thanks for that explanation... It really helps to explain a lot....

I've read a little bit about this before... As well as "Learned Optimism", at one stage I also read "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns, which is about how to use cognitive psychology to combat depression.... As you can probably tell from the books, I used to have a problem with depression.

Depression, it seems, can sometimes be bio-chemical, and in others it is purely psychological... I seemed to have had the psychological kind, and books such as these two helped me (over the course of a few years) to get out of depression and turn my life around.... That was several years ago now....

As a result of your post, I did a quick online search and read a little bit about behaviorism (i.e. the idea that our behavior is a result of rewards and punishments) versus cognitive psychology (i.e. the idea that our behaviour is affected by what we THINK)....

The example of the "learned helplessness" in dogs goes against "behaviorism", since the dogs are not rewarded by staying in the box and being shocked, they'll stay in the box and be shocked even if they are not rewarded.... Instead, it supports the "cognitive psychology" approach....

I wonder how this affects advertising?

Have you seen these long ads online, where people offer umpteen different bonuses if you order "now".... This is a common approach.... It works, in order to inflate how appealing the offer looks, as well as set a time limit so people feel they have to rush to get the offer....

I'm actually a little bit uncomfortable with this approach. I can see now that this approach (at least all the different offers) are in a sense based on "behaviorism" -- they are offering to reward people for acting soon....

However, I wonder if there would be other approaches suggested by "cognitive psychology"?

Changing people's thinking patterns is difficult, though, I expect.... I wonder if it can be done in a short ad?

Perhaps all those cola and soft drink ads on TV may be like this... There, they try to influence people's thinking, to associate drinking Coke or Pepsi with having a good time... It is a type of conditioning, like with Pavlov's dogs or Seligman's dog experiment....

Thanks Becky, this has set off some trains of thoughts in me, it's something I'm going to look into more... I'm very glad you're around... :)

- Dien