OK gang, time to rip my new website to shreds...

This is an eSPv2 site so there isn't much I can do without a total rebuild. However, I am more concerned with the copy and what I can do to improve my chances of a sale the first time around.

So, please tell me what hot buttons and benefits YOU would like to see to make you buy.

Thanks in advance...

Steve


The Target Website... Take aim and FIRE!

> This is an eSPv2 site so there isn't much I
> can do without a total rebuild. However, I
> am more concerned with the copy and what I
> can do to improve my chances of a sale the
> first time around.

> So, please tell me what hot buttons and
> benefits YOU would like to see to make you
> buy.

> Thanks in advance...

> Steve

Hi Steve:

First, I wish you luck with your project. I took a careful look at your site and do offer a few perspectives from a unbiased surfer and fellow internet marketeer.

1. My initial reaction was that I had to read your headline a few times for it to really sink in, and did not really hit any hot buttons for me. The words may be to sophisticated for some people (dummies like me) to understand.

2. I think your body copy is great, tell me more! Your package is $147.00 and $500.00 Its going to take me more than a few paragraphs to get out my credit card. I think defining what you are actually selling in the headline might help.

3. Who is your target market and are they going to know those internet heavy hitters you mention? If not, some description of EACH one would really help.

4. Try to capture the traffic. Get them to give you their email address. Maybe offer some free info or a mini-course. This may not lead to the immediate sale, but if you are using per-click or per page viewed advertising, you may convert sales on the back-end. Or perhaps offer an alternate package. If you can, try adding a hyperlink in your homepage for this, or if you can, add a pop-up banner. Build up a email list and get them to know, like, love and buy from you.

Just a few ideas, I hope it doesn't seem negative.

that should be ready tomorrow. If you want a sneak peek, follow the link below. But, remember, this is still preliminary... I don't have the team page ready and I don't have the order page ready.

But the rest of it will better explain exactly what I SHOULD be selling. I think you will be more impressed.

> Hi Steve:

Now, to your response...

> First, I wish you luck with your project. I
> took a careful look at your site and do
> offer a few perspectives from a unbiased
> surfer and fellow internet marketeer.

Thanks, that is all I ask. Even negative feedback is important.

> 1. My initial reaction was that I had to
> read your headline a few times for it to
> really sink in, and did not really hit any
> hot buttons for me. The words may be to
> sophisticated for some people (dummies like
> me) to understand.

I've changed it. I am sure a few hot buttons will now be hit. I know, I have to write for a 6th grade education. As I said, it was supposed to be a Q&D site, nothing more.

> 2. I think your body copy is great, tell me
> more! Your package is $147.00 and $500.00
> Its going to take me more than a few
> paragraphs to get out my credit card. I
> think defining what you are actually selling
> in the headline might help.

I think you will be more impressed with the new copy... It is more friend to friend.

> 3. Who is your target market and are they
> going to know those internet heavy hitters
> you mention? If not, some description of
> EACH one would really help.

Target market is anyone willing to part with $147 or $500... No, seriously. The target market is people working at home or working part-time, on weekends, etc. that REALLY want to make some SERIOUS money through the Internet. And do it on a part-time basis.

> 4. Try to capture the traffic. Get them to
> give you their email address. Maybe offer
> some free info or a mini-course. This may
> not lead to the immediate sale, but if you
> are using per-click or per page viewed
> advertising, you may convert sales on the
> back-end. Or perhaps offer an alternate
> package. If you can, try adding a hyperlink
> in your homepage for this, or if you can,
> add a pop-up banner. Build up a email list
> and get them to know, like, love and buy
> from you.

Check out the new copy... As I said, two pages are still lacking. This is a site I coded from scratch, so it took longer to do and in the process, I put more thought into what I really wanted to say.

> Just a few ideas, I hope it doesn't seem
> negative.




The new copy...