Help Wanted

Combination manager-stock clerk to take full charge of new firm. Must like people and hard work. Duties include management, purchasing, production, books, payroll, marketing, personnel, shipping & receiving, customer complaints, government & public relations, janitorial and sales. Must be available 24 hours daily, 7 days a week. Furnish own transportation. Salary and benefits depend on profits. Failure to meet goals may result in forfeiture of personal residence, repossession of car and furniture, destruction of credit rating, loss of health. No vacation likely for a minimum of 2 years. Good opportunity for nervous breakdown and marital breakup. No previous experience necessary but all experience might be helpful. Apply in person. An equal opportunity employer.

Any takers?

Michael Ross