Why do people have a fear of success?

I think we may be just using different terminology!

I love to push myself to the limits (though I usually do this more in my "achievements" than physically....)

I like to see how far I can go :)

There seems to be an adrenalin rush sometimes associated with it (even with more intellectual achievements, believe it or not -- if you physically push yourself hard enough)....

When I read what you wrote -- and translated all the physical stuff to "achievement"-oriented stuff -- I could relate to it completely.... :)

As you know, I did a Ph.D. in theoretical physics. There were a couple reasons why I did it.... One was that I did find some physics interesting. But the other reason was because it was DIFFICULT. I wanted to see if I could do it! (That's why I picked theoretical physics that is -- it's a difficult subject.)

During my Ph.D., I submitted my first paper for publication before my first year had gone by. That's pretty rare, and I didn't need to do that. But I did.... Why? Because I wanted to see if I could! I liked the challenge!

I must admit, my foray into ecommerce has multiple drives behind it.... One is a "lifestyle" and financial drive. The other one is I want to see if I can do it!

So.... Mike, I think we're actually pretty similar in some ways. I think we may just be meaning different things when we say "fear of failure"....

Mike, I admire and respect people who push themselves to the limit! :)

Dien

Mike -

I know what you mean. I was in Las Vegas at at conference staying at Circus Circus (I don't recommend it!). I kept hearing these screams outside my window and saw the 18 story bungie jump tower!

Well, I just had to try it and jumped - scared to eath the first time, but enjoyed the other five jumps (sixth one free:-)). What an adrenaline rush!

I did it because I was bored with the conference, but more than that, I needed to shake up my psyche - not to be macho, but to prove to myself that I could meet a new challenge and overcome a natural fear of onrushing pool surface from 18 stories ;-0

In my opinion, it's looking for and meeting new challenges in life that make life worth living. And it's not bungie jumping, dirt biking, sky diving or anything else - it's whatever brings out the adrenaline and adventure in us and makes us feel alive again.

So, I recommend stepping off the metaphorical 18 story tower in one's life and renewing one's sense of aliveness!

Take care, Bob

You sound like a person who really has
your life together. I'm glad you're posting
your opinions. Now, what I'd like to know
is what factors and or key things happened
in your childhood which promoted your ability
to take risks ?

Obviously, you are not like the masses of
people who are reading self help books galore.
I'm interested in learning more about the
messages, influences etc which you feel contributed to your outlook on life.

In some ways you sound a

Hello:

A young fellow from Central Massachusetts has written a book on this very subject and it was published by the same company that publishes the Chicken Soup Series.

You can get more details about Noah St. John and his discovery at www.successclinic.com

Best wishes,

Leo




http://www.successclinic.com

Jason:

Well, here I go ... jumping into a swarm of male opinions!

A person that I have a great deal of respect for recently asked me if I had a fear of success. I was awestruck! Me? Fear of success? Gawd no! I'm as hungry for success and all its trappings as the next person.

But then we got to talking. And one thing that I got out of our discussion is that fear of success is NOT the same as fear of failure.

I'm not afraid to try whatever it takes to achieve "success." I've gone out on a limb many-a-time in the past to reach that "star." And I've experienced many failures along the way. But I haven't been afraid to get up and try again.

So why don't I have the "success" that I want?

I think one of the posters was "right on" in that we often don't want to leave our comfort level. Those who have a fear of success wonder what life will be like if they become "successful." Will their friends change? Will their lifestyle change? Will they have to dress differently? Will people think differently about them?

Yes, I know. Some of you are probably thinking, who cares? But for those who have this "fear," these things hold a major place in their thinking.

The fear may be totally subconscious -- in fact it often is, which is why I reacted to my friend as I did. But as we probed deeper, I discovered that yes, there was some fear of success floating around.

Hope my little dissertation sparks some thought.

Nan




Find out how to Boost Your Business!

Hi Nan,

> Well, here I go ... jumping into a swarm of
> male opinions!

Heheh... we definitely DON'T want this to be a "male-dominated" board.... The more women who contribute the better it can be.... :)

> I think one of the posters was "right
> on" in that we often don't want to
> leave our comfort level. Those who have a
> fear of success wonder what life will be
> like if they become "successful."
> Will their friends change? Will their
> lifestyle change? Will they have to dress
> differently? Will people think differently
> about them?

> Yes, I know. Some of you are probably
> thinking, who cares? But for those who have
> this "fear," these things hold a
> major place in their thinking.

> The fear may be totally subconscious -- in
> fact it often is, which is why I reacted to
> my friend as I did. But as we probed deeper,
> I discovered that yes, there was some fear
> of success floating around.

> Hope my little dissertation sparks some
> thought.

Wow, thanks Nan.... I thought that was pretty insightful....

I had never thought of that, but I can see how that could happen....

For me, there are certain limits to how far I'd want to go. I think I would hate being the kind of person who is instantly recognized on the street.... I think it's nice to have some anonymity while you're going out to dinner or to the movies or whatever. :)

But there's still a long way to go before I have to start worrying about that!

I wonder if I have any "hidden" fear of success somewhere...? I'd have to give that quite a bit of thought....

Thank you for sharing those insights! :)

Dien

Nan ~

We all know what they say about "opinions"!!! ;-)

But I'm not so calloused I don't empathize with those who are not comfortable stepping out into the limelight.

Public speaking is a big fear of many... And it is putting yourself out for criticism in a big way. Same as for posting on the boards... I've made many posts over the years and still use my own name and original, valid, paid for, e-mail addy. No aliases... No Hotmail accounts.

And I've taken flack on the boards and have received notes of support at the same time. Many lurk because they are afraid someone will berate them, their post, or their opinions with a vengenace!

Some people are shy... My oldest daughter being one of them. But that's all she is... Shy. No fears... She plays high level volleyball and has colleges looking at her now. She's the captain and leader of her team. But she is as shy as they come.

My youngest daughter is a wild woman!!! Nothing she won't do or try!

Two extremes right in my own family. I agree with your post.

What I disagree with overall is the fact people want to give this a name... Fear of Success or Failure. Does my daughter have fear of either because she just isn't comfortable speaking in front of a group??? Or commanding a company???

She's comfortable leading her VB team!

Everyone has their own built in limitations and handicaps... Although now we refer to handicaps as "Challenged".

The guy cannot walk because he had polio... He's NOT "Challenged"!!!

Stephen Hawkens resides in a wheelchair unable to move or even speak without computer aid. Here is a man who is crippled from a disease, making a success out of his life.

It always seems to me when Liberals give something a name... It then becomes a "Cause". Next thing you know we are going to have "Fear of Failure Awareness Week". Complete with ribbons, and Jane Fonda all-night marathons, raising money for this cause.

Just admit it's uncomfortable and we don't like doing something... That's what I say! "I ain't doing this!!! I don't like it!!! Don't want to!!! Don't have to!!!" Pure and simple.

Too many attorneys in this world and I belive too many therapists. I wonder if Fear Of Failure/Success will soon be a recognizable disability in the sales industry. Just like "burnout" for air traffic controllers. ;-)

Well this is my last post on the topic Nan! LOL

As usual... I'm all alone in my corner!!! :-)

Here's to you Nan!

~ Mike

Hi Mike,

> Many lurk because they are afraid someone
> will berate them, their post, or their
> opinions with a vengenace!

Yes.... I know that's true....

That's one reason why we wanted this "no insults or personal attacks" policy.... So (hopefully) people can speak freely....

It's OK to disagree (we wouldn't be human if we didn't sometimes have different opinions), but we can do so in a respectful way....

Thanks Mike, again.... I always enjoy your posts.... :)

I believe different viewpoints are valuable.... If everyone always agreed, we'd probably learn a LOT less.... :)

- Dien

Mike -

Well said, especially about the perpetuation of life's discomforts as liberal causes! It seems that we in the USA today are trying to legislate and regulate all the "danger" out of life in every area. It's a pet peeve with me.

Life, to be interesting, has to have an element of uncertainty and (yes) danger to it to be worth living. More regulation means less freedom of choice, which bleeds from "acceptable" causes to our daily lives.

Keep up the posts, my friend - you're not alone in your corner!

Bob (remember the Boston Tea Party!) Beckman

It seems this subject can strike a nerve and does have a personal ellement to it.

Whilst I agree with some comments made, others I disagree - the point is we all have our own thoughts and opinions which leads me to conclude ...

That a fear of success is not as clearly defined as some people state it is.

I personaly still have trouble clearly understanding a "Fear os success". Whilst I understand that some say people they don't want to step out of their comfort zones and don't want more success, I think its peoples fear of how they will handle success that hold's them back.

In my mind it all relates back to fear of failing once. Even if you know you can succed to the next level a fear of reaching it and having to take the next step, and possibly fail then is a fear fo success.

Mike, I loved you comments. I too like to "have a go at everything even if sometimes I'm afraid". I just have a need to experience differnt feelings and emotions. That in itself drives me and gives me energy.

It's called ....LIFE!

Thanks everyone for your comments on this subject, I might print out this thread and take it along to my next speaking engagement - I love a good argument ...er ... debate!

Lot's of success to you all...
Jason


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