Why do people have a fear of success?

Dean in one of your posts about Goofy you mention that you have had a "fear of failure in business".

I do a lot of training and speaking at seminars on motivation and success both business and personal, and something I always hear other speakers talk about is people FEAR OF SUCCESS.

A FEAR THAT SOMETHING ACTUALLY MIGHT WORK.

I have argued or should I say debated with some very high profile trainers on this subject and I truly think people can have a FEAR OF FAILING and that the FEAR OF SUCCESS is really a mask for fear of failing.

But rather than state my opinion I am very interested to hear your thoughts on this subject? Is there a difference between the two?

Is there really such a thing as FEAR of SUCCESS or are all these fears really masking a fear of failing, not meeting the grade, loosing to the opposition and so on ...

I look forward to your responses..
Jason van Hooft


Don't click here.

It has been said by some very astute copywriters and business owners that people will do just about everything and anything to NOT look foolish, stupid, ignorant or incompetent.

You can see this in sales/marketing too.

For instance, there is the dilemma people suffer right after a purchase.

Right away, they ask themselves, did I make a mistake. This is why marketers use "stick" letters, etc.

Post purchase anxieties.

Also, I know that in trading commodities that it becomes very obvious as to whther or not some one is suffering from this same fear.

So, it seems as if this is a learned condition for the most of us. We learn to fear failing in school but we never really are taught that failure has so many benefits.

Taylor

> Dean in one of your posts about Goofy you
> mention that you have had a "fear of
> failure in business".

> I do a lot of training and speaking at
> seminars on motivation and success both
> business and personal, and something I
> always hear other speakers talk about is
> people FEAR OF SUCCESS.

> A FEAR THAT SOMETHING ACTUALLY MIGHT WORK.

> I have argued or should I say debated with
> some very high profile trainers on this
> subject and I truly think people can have a
> FEAR OF FAILING and that the FEAR OF SUCCESS
> is really a mask for fear of failing.

> But rather than state my opinion I am very
> interested to hear your thoughts on this
> subject? Is there a difference between the
> two?

> Is there really such a thing as FEAR of
> SUCCESS or are all these fears really
> masking a fear of failing, not meeting the
> grade, loosing to the opposition and so on
> ...

> I look forward to your responses..
> Jason van Hooft




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Hi Jason and Taylor....

Firstly, Jason, I loved your link.... Anything that says "Don't Click Here" is just WAITING to be clicked on... I couldn't help myself! :)

I can only talk about myself here really.... I don't think I have any "fear of success" to be honest, but I do have "fear of failure"....

I don't know if I can generalize this to everybody, though.... (I'm sure others here would know about this than me...)

I also think "fear of failure" is sometimes quite justified....

I think it probably comes down to -- what is the consequence of failing?

For example, if I was Evel Knievel (remember him?) jumping across 13 double-decker buses on my motor-bike, a fear of failure could be quite justified! FAILURE could mean a lot of pain and a long stay in hospital, if I was LUCKY....

BUT if the consequences of failure ain't THAT bad, and the potential rewards are great, then the fear of failure is not really justified.... And you usually have to take a few risks to make your DREAMS come true....

By the way, I think it's good to have SUPPORTIVE people around you....

I hope WE can make this forum such a place! :)

It's easy for people to say "you can't do that.... you'll never make it.... you'll never succeed...."

But what I admire are those who take a chance, who GO for their dreams!

I must admit, when I have future plans, I am a bit selective about who I tell about them.... I only tell people who I know are positive thinkers, who are supportive people.... I don't tell the "cynics"....

A newborn idea or plan, like a newborn baby, is a fragile thing.... it needs nurture and care if it is going to grow, not immediate attacks....

I hope this forum (and the whole site) can become a place where WE can all help each other with our DREAMS....

I'm a dreamer at heart, but I strive hard to make my dreams a reality, and I like to support anyone else who has a DREAM too....

Why settle for the mundane when you can reach for the STARS? :)

It doesn't have to be a new business. It could be a new relationship, a new lifestyle, a new way of helping others -- heck your dream could even be to do theoretical physics.... ;)

Thank you for sharing your thoughts... :)

Dien

> I must admit, when I have future plans, I am
> a bit selective about who I tell about
> them.... I only tell people who I know are
> positive thinkers, who are supportive
> people.... I don't tell the
> "cynics"....

> A newborn idea or plan, like a newborn baby,
> is a fragile thing.... it needs nurture and
> care if it is going to grow, not immediate
> attacks....

I'll add that it is ALWAYS good to get the advice of people with EXPERIENCE in what you want to do.... Good honest experienced advice can be more valuable than money....

By "cynics" I was referring to those people who generally have never tried anything like what you want to do, but feel they know WHY it won't work anyway....

These are the same type of people who said "no machine will never fly," "people will never land on the moon," and "this internet-thing is just a crazy fad"! :)

Talk to supportive people and experienced people about your plans and ideas.... at least that's what I do.... :)

Cheers,

Dien

> For example, if I was Evel Knievel (remember
> him?) jumping across 13 double-decker buses
> on my motor-bike, a fear of failure could be
> quite justified! FAILURE could mean a lot of
> pain and a long stay in hospital, if I was
> LUCKY....

Dien... This isn't Fear of Failure. It's Fear of Pain! If he was afraid of failure he wouldn't jump at all. But he doesn't fear failure and he doesn't fear pain.

~ Mike

P.S. I see I should have lkept my initial thoughts to myself!!! Before I made my post to Jason there weren't any other replies! I seem to be in the minority once again! LOL

Mike -

Actually, your initial reply was right on - a bit blunt, but well put:-)

During my plebe year at the Naval Academy, we had four allowed answers to any order: Yes Sir, No Sir, NO EXCUSE, SIR, and I'll find out Sir.

What that meant was do it or don't do it, but don't give excuses for your actions or lack thereof. Legitimate REASONS spoke for themselves, excuses were just a delaying tactic!

In the business world, if people would take action, do their best, ask for help, try again and quit making excuses, a lot more would get done and a lot of useless emotion avoided.

Re my other response above, upon rethinking the examples, I guess the people were actually happy to stay where they were, or wouldn't exert the energy to change. Still puzzling, but a reality.

Thanks for the plain talk!!

Bob (not the Bob in your example:-))

'> Mike -

> Actually, your initial reply was right on -
> a bit blunt, but well put:-)

> During my plebe year at the Naval Academy,
> we had four allowed answers to any order:
> Yes Sir, No Sir, NO EXCUSE, SIR, and I'll
> find out Sir.

> What that meant was do it or don't do it,
> but don't give excuses for your actions or
> lack thereof. Legitimate REASONS spoke for
> themselves, excuses were just a delaying
> tactic!

> In the business world, if people would take
> action, do their best, ask for help, try
> again and quit making excuses, a lot more
> would get done and a lot of useless emotion
> avoided.

> Re my other response above, upon rethinking
> the examples, I guess the people were
> actually happy to stay where they were, or
> wouldn't exert the energy to change. Still
> puzzling, but a reality.

> Thanks for the plain talk!!

> Bob (not the Bob in your example:-))

Bob,

> During my plebe year at the Naval Academy,
> we had four allowed answers to any order:
> Yes Sir, No Sir, NO EXCUSE, SIR, and I'll
> find out Sir.

> What that meant was do it or don't do it,
> but don't give excuses for your actions or
> lack thereof. Legitimate REASONS spoke for
> themselves, excuses were just a delaying
> tactic!

Yes, I think that's true.... EXCUSES can be a big problem.... If we don't allow ourselves excuses, I think the better we can be.... :)

> In the business world, if people would take
> action, do their best, ask for help, try
> again and quit making excuses, a lot more
> would get done and a lot of useless emotion
> avoided.

Thanks Bob! That's great advice.... :)

That's one thing I've noticed in these various entrepreneurial stories I've read.... These true success stories just try try try again, whereas a lot of people just try once (if that) then give up....

Thanks :)

Dien

Dien -

It's in good old Newton's laws again - those that make excuses continue to make excuses as they continue in the same path.

Those that have some stimuli and energy (positive or negative) acted upon them, will of necessity change course, for good or bad.

In my opinion, change for change sake is not good - if one is truly happy in their lot in life, then God bless and let live.

However, if someone grumbles inordinately without taking action, then a little negative KITA (ala Peter Drucker) is in order and can help move them along their Path of Life.

NO judgement, just observation, 'cuz I've had a lot of negative KITA (i.e., Kick in the ****) applied to me by life so far. Very humbling! :-)

Take care, Bob

Mike,

> Dien... This isn't Fear of Failure. It's
> Fear of Pain! If he was afraid of failure he
> wouldn't jump at all. But he doesn't fear
> failure and he doesn't fear pain.

I still think you can have a "fight or flight" response to genuine fear....

For example, kids are always daring each other. I can imagine Evel Knievel as a kid....

Probably little Johnny said to little Evel, "I bet you can't jump over 5 stacked up car tires on your bike."

"Can too!"

"Come on, I dare ya!"

While a number of kids would refuse to do it (flight response), little Evel probably said something like,

"Let me show you, but you have to give me that big clear marble you've got if I do it, okay?"
(fight response, with a bit of entrepreneurial spirit thrown in :)

- Dien

P.S. There's a good Aussie movie called "Strictly Ballroom." While the surface of the plot is about a Ballroom Dancing competition, the underlying story is about FEAR and conquering your fears. A phrase repeated throughout the movie is,

"A life lived in fear is a life half-lived."

If you don't FACE YOUR FEARS and do it, you'll live with that fear for the rest of your life.