For Losers Only: A Solution To Your #1 "Catch-22"

This message is ONLY for people who have not had meaningful success in their business/professional lives.

Doesn't it just tick you off when one of the "belief lecturers" tells you that to be successful, you just need to "believe in yourself"?

So here's the Catch-22. They tell you that you can't be successful unless you believe in yourself. And you and I know 100% for certain that you CAN'T believe in yourself, because you've never been successful. How do you find an exit from THAT box?

And ... it's not just you and me. It's probably 70% of the population who get trapped in there. There are a lot more of US than there are of the "belief believers."

But there is at least one way out of that box. Back in my 100% unsuccessful days, I was fortunate to spend time with and learn from some very good marketers. I learned a lot of stuff that changed my life, but far and away the #1 mindset I learned from great marketers was ...

Testing

EVERYTHING must be tested.

So long as you are testing, you do NOT need to believe. People believe because they feel they know the answer. But if you don't believe, then you must test to see what works best. If you learn from each test you do, then over time you will eliminate what does not work and eventually find something that does work.

In other words ... you will have success. And now you're out of that box, and belief comes much more easily.

But even today, 20-some years after I went thru this mental transformation, I still consider everything a test. And I know most tests don't work. So THAT is my expectation. That is my belief about everything I do. But I know how to test and how to learn from my testing, and so I know that even tho today's test probably won't work, I will keep testing and learning and inevitably will hit one that does work.

So the good new is, if you consider yourself a failure, you absolutely do NOT have to believe in yourself in order to achieve success. So long as you are testing, you can actually end up successful, even if you expect failure with every step you take.

There may well be other ways out of that box, but that's one process I don't need to test anymore.

Richard Dennis

[GordonJ]

Richard,

Your message has been consistent for decades now...and I feel there is a need for this message to get out to more people...other than just the 14 of us SowPubbers...

I agree with the Testing, may have a different opinion, probably of the hair splitting kind...that action taken is belief in motion...as seen in the Pyramid Of Accomplishment...the zig zag of TESTING,

finding out what doesn't work...but, testing for a purpose, testing toward a result or goal...and the setting of any goal, in my mind, requires a belief it can be achieved, even if it is "I doubt it" as the action taken toward it take place.

Anyhow, my hair-splitting aside, I think your concept and your story from doubter/tester to a success most would enjoy achieving, would make a great book...perhaps you can flesh out the idea of your subject, and find a ready audience, into the millions?????

Of other people who have a hard time with belief as the magic elixir to success...and they are many.

Write the book. NOW!

GordonJ

Originally Posted by Richard Dennis

This message is ONLY for people who have not had meaningful success in their business/professional lives.

Doesn't it just tick you off when one of the "belief lecturers" tells you that to be successful, you just need to "believe in yourself"?

So here's the Catch-22. They tell you that you can't be successful unless you believe in yourself. And you and I know 100% for certain that you CAN'T believe in yourself, because you've never been successful. How do you find an exit from THAT box?

And ... it's not just you and me. It's probably 70% of the population who get trapped in there. There are a lot more of US than there are of the "belief believers."

But there is at least one way out of that box. Back in my 100% unsuccessful days, I was fortunate to spend time with and learn from some very good marketers. I learned a lot of stuff that changed my life, but far and away the #1 mindset I learned from great marketers was ...

Testing

EVERYTHING must be tested.

So long as you are testing, you do NOT need to believe. People believe because they feel they know the answer. But if you don't believe, then you must test to see what works best. If you learn from each test you do, then over time you will eliminate what does not work and eventually find something that does work.

In other words ... you will have success. And now you're out of that box, and belief comes much more easily.

But even today, 20-some years after I went thru this mental transformation, I still consider everything a test. And I know most tests don't work. So THAT is my expectation. That is my belief about everything I do. But I know how to test and how to learn from my testing, and so I know that even tho today's test probably won't work, I will keep testing and learning and inevitably will hit one that does work.

So the good new is, if you consider yourself a failure, you absolutely do NOT have to believe in yourself in order to achieve success. So long as you are testing, you can actually end up successful, even if you expect failure with every step you take.

There may well be other ways out of that box, but that's one process I don't need to test anymore.

Richard Dennis

Richard,

I am addressing only these remarks:

"So here's the Catch-22. They tell you that you can't be successful unless you believe in yourself. And you and I know 100% for certain that you CAN'T believe in yourself, because you've never been successful. How do you find an exit from THAT box?"

Pure unadulterated horse crap. I wasn't successful for a long time but I was 100% certain I could be because I knew there was a way out of the box. I simply had not found it yet.

How did I know there was a way out of the box? I saw you successful guys driving around in your Caddies, Beamers and TBirds and eating steaks while I was hoping for at least a cooked hot dog.

Was I the only one in that box? Hell no. Was the box so tall we couldn't see out? Hell no. Did the box have flaps that could be opened? Hell yes. Therein lies the answer.

The drunk in the Bowery believes in himself and he is 100% successful contrary to what all the do-gooders say. Finds his booze everyday without fail. That my friend is a success story. Only we call him a failure and other negative terms because we JUDGE him and slap him with our opinion of what is failure and what is success.

I'd go so far as to say he has tested every booze he could possibly get. He has even made a choice. He'd rather have MD cuz it has the most kick for the least cost. A true testing expert only he lives in the gutter. Maybe even a crowded gutter.

I guess it is all in how you define successful. You didn't define it in the few words I've quoted so everything I just wrote is based on an assumptive definition. But, hey, what the hell that might have been your intent. Throw out an oft used word/phrase, or a PTV to quote another fellow, and see what boomerang comes home.

Personally I love it because, so far, at least two of us jumped off the pier and posted. Maybe we'll be joined by two or three more and we can all enjoy the swimming hole.

Have a great day!

Sandalwood,

Pure unadulterated horse crap.

Many years ago, my wife and I were having lunch at a seaside restaurant on the Caribbean island of Barbados. As we talked, we saw an amazing sight about 100 yards offshore ... a school of flying fish. I'd heard of them. I'd read about them. But where I grew up on Lake Erie, no fish EVER flew. I was awestruck.

There are hundreds of different kinds of fish. Maybe thousands. But so far as I know, only that flying fish has fin-wings and can glide thru the air like a bird.

Most of the human population does not have wings. They don't believe they will ever achieve what they really want in life. And only the few flying fish amongst them ever will believe - without first having solid proof - that success is actually possible for them. When you tell them to "just believe," you may as well be telling them to fly.

You are wired differently. When you command yourself to believe, you do. You're adamant that anyone else can do the same. In fact, you think it's a character flaw if they don't. And any thought contrary to yours is pure unadulterated horse crap. That is why this thread was addressed only to those who have not had the success in life that they have wanted. It's BS for you, because you'll never understand it. But it's true for most people.

There is hope for them. But it doesn't begin with the command, "Believe!" Most people just can't do that.

Richard Dennis

I'm not sure if this fits into the discussion (exactly)...

My main motivator to believe is the EVIDENCE that it is possible to succeed.

When the "crabs" who try to pull you back into the bucket try to crush your dreams for various reasons, you can always just point out the evidence of the success of others! The success of others is all around, in REAL life! So believing that success is impossible, is obviously hogwash! I mean if success is impossible, then how does one explain (away) the real-life success stories -- which are PLENTIFUL, OBVIOUS, and ALL AROUND US?

I had a not politically correct analogy in mind, but I'll just skip it.

-- TW

TW,

Yes, evidence is the key. For maybe 30% of the population, evidence that others are successful is enough for them to believe. For the rest of us ... I used to look at THAT evidence and be hopeful, but I was not them. From the days when I struck out about 15 times in a row in Little League, I had a ton of evidence that success would never happen for me.

I hit a point which most people hit where you consistently expect to not be successful. And, of course, that is how it worked, and my belief in myself would only decrease. Then my activity would slow to a crawl, to be sure I didn't make more mistakes.

But when I studied and came to understand and practice the idea of testing, my mental state flipped. NOW I could expect to lose every time, and there was no sting, so long as I learned and got better. Evidence began to gather that I could do something right - test and learn and get better. I developed 100% confidence - total belief - that I could make enough mistakes so that I would clearly define what did not work.

And once I believed I could do that, I got bolder, I made mistakes faster, and I hit on some things that actually worked. That gave me evidence that I could do it ... which I never believed before.

Sure, I could be wrong ... but I don't think so. I think for most people, evidence that SOMEONE can do it is not evidence that THEY can do it. They know they lack confidence. They know they can't be successful unless they believe. But they can't truly believe until they have real evidence that they themselves can be successful.

But if you have a "testing" attitude, then, ridiculously, failure becomes evidence of success. And I believed I could fail like rolling off a log, so that worked really well for me.

Richard

"They don't believe they will ever achieve what they really want in life"

I'd believe you if you said

"They don't know what they really want in (or from) life".

That to me is where most people are at. They don't have a clue as to what they want.

This country was designed and to a degree is still designed for Average Joe Schmuck to be as successful as he so desires. Just ask the cowboys schlocking their latest greatest make a million IM package.

That concept is still mentioned in schools maybe not to the degree it was when you and I (born 1945) were surfing our way through the system.

I have re-read this thread and get another sense/thought. The man has his boot on my neck - remember that from the 60's? - so I can't get ahead.

No, sorry the man doesn't have his boot on your neck. You have your boot on your neck. If a pure clutz from the boonies of NY can figure it out by simple observation, so can you.

Now, go take off your boots, stand up and try. And for the rest of you, shut up and quit making excuses for him. Hell, who knows he might grow up and become president, be awarded the nobel prize, take over the auto industry, give his banker friends tons of money, become an expert in the art of the teleprompter and win a second term.

Some people will tell you in the beginning was the word. Not true. In the beginning was a thought. Look what one guy did with a thought.

OK, enough of me. I'm on my way to Pyramid Lake to look at flying fish. I know they are there because my Paiute friend, Pete, told me he saw them. Pete usually has clear vision in matters of flying fish and success.

He runs a chain of 6 cigarette stores and visits the same watering hole I've been known to frequent on a semi-often basis.

I think I'll write a book and call it Wisdom From the Watering Hole...

I see what you mean about the testing aspect.

Let's apply that to the old fleas in a jar story.

(that is the science experiment about the fleas in a jar with the LID ON. They soon learn they cannot jump past the lid (in trying to escape). After they learn this, you can remove the lid + the fleas with STILL not escape. They have given up trying! -- This idea is also expressed with the elephant on a chain example -- attach a strong chain to the baby elephant's leg, then after it learns it cannot break free, you can use a thin rope for the rest of the elephant's life -- because, hey, an elephant never forgets.)

So... with the testing notion, you can add that all of the previous failures need to be constantly *RE*-tested!

Make sense?

-- TW

[Dien Rice]

Originally Posted by Richard Dennis

This message is ONLY for people who have not had meaningful success in their business/professional lives.

Doesn't it just tick you off when one of the "belief lecturers" tells you that to be successful, you just need to "believe in yourself"?

So here's the Catch-22. They tell you that you can't be successful unless you believe in yourself. And you and I know 100% for certain that you CAN'T believe in yourself, because you've never been successful. How do you find an exit from THAT box?

And ... it's not just you and me. It's probably 70% of the population who get trapped in there. There are a lot more of US than there are of the "belief believers."

But there is at least one way out of that box. Back in my 100% unsuccessful days, I was fortunate to spend time with and learn from some very good marketers. I learned a lot of stuff that changed my life, but far and away the #1 mindset I learned from great marketers was ...

Testing

EVERYTHING must be tested.

So long as you are testing, you do NOT need to believe. People believe because they feel they know the answer. But if you don't believe, then you must test to see what works best. If you learn from each test you do, then over time you will eliminate what does not work and eventually find something that does work.

In other words ... you will have success. And now you're out of that box, and belief comes much more easily.

But even today, 20-some years after I went thru this mental transformation, I still consider everything a test. And I know most tests don't work. So THAT is my expectation. That is my belief about everything I do. But I know how to test and how to learn from my testing, and so I know that even tho today's test probably won't work, I will keep testing and learning and inevitably will hit one that does work.

So the good new is, if you consider yourself a failure, you absolutely do NOT have to believe in yourself in order to achieve success. So long as you are testing, you can actually end up successful, even if you expect failure with every step you take.

There may well be other ways out of that box, but that's one process I don't need to test anymore.

Hi Richard,

I want to say "thank you" for what I feel is a very important message!

I love your attitude of

"EVERYTHING must be tested."

and

"So long as you are testing, you do NOT need to believe."

Now, I have to say that one reason why I like this is, I really should have this attitude more!

By the way, "testing" can also be fun. It's fun and interesting to try to predict what will happen - then to see if you're right.

I'd also add - it is a very "scientific" approach too. Kind of like doing "experiments" - try it out, and see what happens. Then try it again - or a different variant on it.

Having said that, my own personal attitude is probably actually close to that of sandalwood/Tom's, who said (in a post in this thread)...

"I wasn't successful for a long time but I was 100% certain I could be because I knew there was a way out of the box. I simply had not found it yet."

That's basically been my attitude. Even if I wasn't successful - I knew that (1) success was possible (since I could see other people being successful), and (2) I felt I could "learn the ropes" sooner or later (with enough experience)!

However, I don't think that negates your message at all, about "testing"... I feel everyone can probably benefit from taking an "everything is a test"-type of attitude...

I'm going to try to incorporate it more often into my own stuff...

Thanks!

Best wishes,

Dien

P.S. Thanks to Tom, too, whose posts I seem to learn a lot from as well...

Dien,

Thanks for your comments.

Knowing somebody else has succeeded - revealing a proven, tested model - has helped a lot of people believe. It works for me, too ... now. But back before I had any personal evidence of success, that logic would wear off. I looked at my model and believed. Then I failed. And failed. And failed again. And the belief morphed to "OK. Somebody else has done this, but I can't do it. I must be the world's biggest friggin' idiot." Result? Zero confidence, zero belief, zero chance of success.

I think we can all agree that the vast majority of people never achieve what they want in life. For most of us, no matter how strong the external evidence, 3 or 4 unsuccessful tries is proof of our personal failure. Most of us aren't mentally tough enough to not be affected by all that evidence that we suck. Our self-belief is damaged or devastated. For most of us, at that point, the fact that somebody else has been successful at this action doesn't mean squat. If anything, it's even more depressing. ("They can do it, so I must REALLY suck!") For most people, belief cannot be sustained thru multiple failures.

And then someone tells you, "You just have to believe!" Personally, that instruction was absurd, and I had plenty of personal evidence to prove it was idiotic.

Fortunately for me, I love a puzzle. And when I learned about testing, my puzzle-solver mentality took over. The idea of testing turned achievement into a big jigsaw puzzle. I tried a piece, and it didn't work. I tried another piece, and it didn't work. But it wasn't failure anymore. It wasn't rejection. I was just working the puzzle. In fact, it no longer had anything to do with success or failure. Instead, testing was a game. As kids, we learn to play a game to the end. So it was easy to keep going until I found the next puzzle piece that fit. And the more pieces that fit, the easier the puzzle got.

Oh, yes, I know that to a lot of people, this mental jiu-jitsu absolutely sounds 100% loony tunes. But most people, in the face of failure after failure, cave. (I used to be a master caver.) Belief in the model of somebody else's achievement fades away in the reality of personal failure. And if belief disappears, how can you keep going?

The attitude of testing and puzzle-solving have changed everything for me, because there is NO failure or rejection. Belief and confidence never disappear. You learn as a kid that most pieces don't fit. So you just try the next piece and the next and keep going until you finish the puzzle.

Richard