The one step which is most often NOT taken is...

[GordonJ]

Maybe because of whatever, I lack that, and for the most part bury my head in the sand:
your opinion of me is none of my business.

And coupled with "who the heck are you to judge anyone?"

But what you write is an acknowledged fear held by many, many, probably the vast majority of people.

I've written often about the two sided sword of judgement, praise and criticism. Acknowledge both, accept neither, and let the water roll off your back like a duck in a summer rain or a winter tempest. Quack-Quack.

Easier said than done for most of you who are not narcissistic psychopaths, not saying I am one, but ain't denying either.

So, in business, maybe Sammy Clemens had the fear, but not Mark Twain, eh? Seen in Hollywood via the many name changes over the years, maybe Marion Morrison was worried about it, but not FEARLESS John Wayne.

That is one work around. In marketing, it might be more about playing to your strengths and your markets, so as not to deal with it so much.

I tell you this sincerely, no smoke being blown, your reports on Hidden Businesses crush the work of George Haylings and Chase Revel...they would be ashamed to compare their work with what you've done.

Now, here is a secret...go mentally to an unassailable core, for example, with you Physics. No one can knock you off of what you know. With me, golf. Although I don't play or even like it anymore, I know that I know more about it than 99.99% of everyone else.

So, maybe begin your first steps there. And this is for everyone, find your unassailable thing, begin from there, and go into the lesser certainties.

Go to your nearest cemetary, and ask those there, how many were afraid of criticism during life, and and how many are now?

See, after the fact, we see it doesn't matter what others thought, only what we did, or DIDN'T DO.

Gordon

P.S. Your one (among maybe many), UNassailable thing, is you. What you know, experience, skills, knowledge. Start from that foundation, and build upwards.

Originally Posted by Dien Rice

Hi Gordon,

I think you're right... "Doing" does seem to be important...

In examining myself... I realize that sometimes, I am "frozen" because of fear...

And that fear is often the fear of being "judged" by other people!



When you fear that... sometimes it's easier to do nothing. If you do nothing, you're not being judged by others!

...But you also generally don't get anywhere!

I just thought I'd throw that out there...

It recently dawned on me that my activities often fall into those two categories...

Activities where I have no fear of being judged (like doing the laundry, for example!), and other activities where I have a fear of being judged (like writing, public speaking, etc.).

Those activities where I fear being judged... I often find it harder to get started!

I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm probably not the only one like this...

Jerry Seinfeld has a joke...

"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy."

I have a feeling that he's absolutely right!

But I'd broaden it... and say the fear is in reality, the fear of being judged by others... (and that public speaking is just one example of that...)

(Just my pet "theory du jour"... )

(Theory of the day...)

Best wishes,

Dien

P.S. Been "out" with the flu the past couple of weeks (tested negative for Covid, though)... but I'm basically "back", now...