Dwayne Johnson* Hit Himself in The Face w/a 50 Lb CHAIN

[Glenn]

Thanks Mr UnPink,

WARNING.

I get SCREAMED at by Non Entrepreneurs.

Like I will say to The Marketing Dept, "You know that 500K You Are Flushing
Down The Toilet By Hiring An Ad Agency that doesn't Track Results? Let's use it to do Direct Response Testing.

The Department Head for The division Goes BALLISTIC...

Yells.

Screams.

Goes BONKERS.

We Take a Break.

One of his Team pulls me aside - GRINNING LIKE a Lunatic.

"You didn't know his Son In Law works at the Ad Agency Did You? Without
our business the kid would Get Fired. Dear old Dad would Have to Support sonny boy."

ME - "OH."

ME - "Well doesn't that just Prove my Point?

TEAM Guy - "Nope. That's Not how we do things here."

ME - "Well, it's a Darn good Thing You Paid me my Fee IN ADVANCE. Cuz Its Clear You Clowns won't do Anything I suggest."

THIS
Yelling
TANTRUM -
Screaming Thing
HAPPENS to me
a LOT.

UNLESS I Do a Test to Find HARD CORE ENTREPRENEURS.

So.

Please.

NON-ENTREPRENEURS - COVER YOUR EYES.
==========
==========
How I Discovered How To Advertise FREE in
Any Major city or Town Newspaper.

I met a 50 yr old Guy (At a 25K Event) who paid a 70 yr old INTERNATIONAL
Real Estate Guru - 50GRAND.

Jim Got an AD - That Always Gets 100's of Phone Calls.

And Coaching

PLUS
Jim Got a Way to Test The Ad - For FREE.
So He Doesn't Waste Time Running Ads in The Wrong Paper.

But JIM Was TOO SCARED to Ask The Guru
Embarrassing Questions Like...

"How Do I Get The Receptionist for The Vet Clinic NICHE
to Give me their Fax and Email Addresses?

SHEESH.

So Jim Asks ME.

Step I - Jim Has some Veterinary Clinic Leads. So I Actually PHONE up
and show him What to say to Get Their Contact info.

Step II - Jim TELLS Me What The Classified Ad Says.
And The FREE Newspaper Strategy he paid 50GRAND for.

But is Too Chicken to Do.

Sounds Like FUN - So I Meet him at the Courthouse.

And Do it FOR Him.

ME - Hey Jim. You Be The Lookout, OK? If You see a Cop Car. Give me a YELL
And I will go over and Talk to Them."

Jim - "Ok. Fine. You Sure this is Legal?

ME - It's a Gray area. But Nobody Cares. And actually we Are HELPING the Newspaper. Cuz After
We Test Drop Your Ad in The COMICS Section of 100 Papers.

"You will Pay to Run The Ad, Right?

"You don't wanna Come out here and do this By Yourself.

Jim - "You got That Right."

So.

I Drop a Bunch of Quarters in a Newspaper Box CHAINED to a Stop Sign.

I - Pull all The Sunday Papers out. (I've Got 2 foot PILES of papers all over the sidewalk.)

II - I Pull my Pile of ads over. Start Putting them in a New pile.

III - The NEW Newspaper Pile has his 1/2 Page Classified Ad STUCK into The
Comix Section of Each Paper. Then I Put The NEW Pile Back in The Box.

JIM YELLS. "It's The Cops."

ME - I Walk over to The Curb. "Hello Officer. I'm doing an Unofficial COUNT
of the Newspapers in Each Box. So My Boss Knows They all got Delivered ok."

COP - "We Were Wondering How You were going to READ all Those Papers.
And
He
drives
away.

JIM is Sweating Bullets. "Let's Get out of here!"

ME - "No Way. The Rest of this will be a CakeWalk.

(EDITORS NOTE - Dunno if you know this. But all The Major paperBoxes are
Chained to Metal Posts and Signs ALL TOGETHER. In Hi Traffic areas. So It's EZ
for us to Drop Ads in Every Different paper box.)

HAPPY ENDING.

Jim calls to say his phone is ringing off the hook.

And he wants me to Show him How to Place The Ad. Cuz there is no Way
to get it into the Funny paper section.

SIGH.

So I walk him thru that too.

LAST POINT.

Don't You Agree that there is NO WAY IN HADES that SHY - JIM is
going to Pay for Ads in Newspapers - unless he Has PROOF - Real Phone Calls
from Prospects - that the Classified Ad WORKS?

So We Are doing The Papers a FAVOR by Testing for Free.

Thanks,
Glenn