Thank you, Mr. Spammer.

> Dear Mr. Spammer:

> I am writing to you today to express my
> thanks.

> Thank you for a lifetime supply of Viagra.
> Thank you for my pre-approved credit cards.
> Thank you for finding me lower mortgage
> rates. Thank you for cheaper prescription
> drugs. Thank you for finding me a date.
> Thank you for my never ending supply of ink
> and toner cartridges. Thank you for all the
> ****.

> And most of all... thank you for continually
> changing the way you present your words to
> try to get past my filters. Every time you
> do that I get another word (or version of
> it) to add to my filters.

> I would like to know one thing though
> because I am slightly puzzled... if you need
> to disguise your spam words so much to try
> to get past my filters, what makes you think
> I want to get your message? If I wanted to
> know about your drugs, ****, toner, viagra,
> etc., I would not have those words in my
> filter - which must be well over 100 words
> by now with all the variations I keep
> adding.

> Of course, I could be showing my ignorance
> about marketing and all that. I mean, your
> misspelled words and word variations could
> be a NLP trick to break my bubble of
> pre-occupation. You are obviously more
> talented at marketing. And I am sure I could
> learn a few things from you such as...

> Make sure to use email addresses which no
> real human being would use. Email addresses
> such as [email protected] . I shall be
> trying that in my next email campaign.

> Always use throw away email addresses which
> are gotten for free - like hotmail. I always
> thought using such an address took away
> credibility. But your continual use of such
> addresses proves it must work.

> Never be honest in email subject lines. Here
> was I always letting people know what the
> email contained. I see from your emails that
> that is the wrong thing to do. I should be
> misleading in the subject line to get people
> to open the email. I had always thought that
> tricking people would make them mad. Again,
> I must have been misled because you do it
> all the time.

> Never spell words correctly. Words like
> viagra I now know are better spelt as
> v.i.a.g.r.a or v-i-a-g-r-a or v:i:a:g:r:a or
> v i a g r a or v_i a g r_a or any of the
> fifteen other variations I have. I now
> understand this is in case I have
> accidentally added the normal word viagra to
> my filter list.

> Market to people who have shown absolutely
> zero interest in your product. The reason
> being, they don't know they are really
> interested and will only realise they are
> interested upon receiving your email.

> Never use a real reply to address. Here was
> me thinking I was wise to allow people a way
> to contact you. You have shown me the errors
> of my ways. Never again will I provide a way
> for people who read my emails to get back in
> touch with me.

> Oh, a final thank you for allowing me to
> waste time dealing with your messages. I am
> so glad for the distraction you provide and
> the time you take away from me. I just don't
> know what I would do if I had that time
> spare.

> Again, thanks, Mr. Spammer. I appreciate it

> NOT! Michael Ross

have sworn you were looking in my e-mail. It seems lately all I get is unsolicited (spam) e-mail of the exact variety you mentioned.

Maybe bad economic times have lured some of these questionable business people into bulk e-mail scams.

Just my 2 cents.




Q+