Snakes, spiders and mice. OH My. The power of words and the states of mind...

[GordonJ]

Originally Posted by GordonJ

OK Dien. OK.
the rest of the story.

So it took about 2 to 3 weeks for me to transform from the Invisisble Man to a "popular" guy.

In 12 years of schooling I was never popular...in fact, mostly the opposite...a lone wolf type. I didn't join in.

Now all of a sudden, just because of a 5 cent piece of plastic, I'd hear my name called out all over school.

And here are some VALUABLE lessons from that experience:

Being "popular", having people like you or want to be around you was WAY over rated...and people began invading my space...and my powers of observation could have become very skewed if I wasn't aware of what was happening.

I call it the FOG of life (the poem is buried somewhere in the archives)...

it is the place where we PROJECT ourselves onto others and the place we PERCEIVE what other's are projecting.

The PERCEPTION is the critical part because we make decisions based upon this.

Who here hasn't been on the "outside" of a group or clique of people?

High school makes it easy to see...the birds of a feather thing...band members with band members..."artists and actors" with each other...jocks, brainiacs, hoods...all little sub cultures...all little groups of people where one would FEEL comfortable.

I had always been a group of ONE. I felt OK about myself, and didn't seek anyone's approval. I'm of the Rodney Dangerfield (or Groucho Marx or W.C. Fields) opinion: "I don't want to join any club who would have someone like me as a member." HA!

So I was able to understand this sudden shift from a guy who could walk through a school of 3,000 people and be pert near invisible to a person who couldn't take a leak in the boy's room without someone whipping out a kazoo and humming a few bars while I was tinkling...

I've never been that comfortable carrying on urinal conversations to begin with...let alone having to be all smiley and friendly while relieving myself.

I asked myself.. "What happened?" I think it is Ankesh who writes that things get better when questioned?

We don't ask ourselves enough questions. Start now and change that. Accept one fact...that for 95% of us...we're exactly where we put ourselves...the illness and accident factor covers the other 5%...

And I'd be willing to bet that about 3.5% of that is from habits...smoking and drinking account for a large percentage of health problems in senior citizens...and eating too. Anyway...

I was suddenly projecting an image as a FUN guy to hang around with...laughing, kazooing, schmoozing with all sorts of people...creating new "groups" of people...that were all encompassing...the kazoo is just one of those fun little things.

Note I had not changed. And during this time my PERCEPTION of the image others had was extremely quickened...and I was able to see these kids NOT as their "reputations" or by what they did or didn't do...but as PEOPLE. Most had their own insecurities, their own fears, their own inadequate self images too.

And it was the first time that I figured it out that we are all doing the BEST we can with what we have been given and with our CURRENT limited knowledge of how things work.

I made more friends, had more dates, more FUN in the last three months of high school than I had had in the previous 11 3/4 years. All because a Navy recruiter painted a picture of me cleaning up after thousands of drunken sailors, marines or grunts coming back from liberty...cause that was the job high school drop outs did.

He not only got me to finish and graduate...but that time where I would have been in boot camp...was the time where I had the most growth, learned the most about people...and left school not only with a diploma but a REAL LIFE education of how things worked.

Linda and Janet shifted from the pursued to the "pack". I was a hot commodity...had more choices...had others INTERESTED in me...and without the latter knowledge I'd gain about human behavior, I innately understood that because OTHERS had an interest, maybe they should take another look at this guy who had been trying for a couple of years to get on their radar....

Suddenly, I was target ONE. YIKES!!

What would a dog do if he ever caught the car he was chasing? Sort of how I felt...NOW what do I do?

There is an individual reality that is in our head...and a great deal of it for MOST people is based upon UNreality. Here is a working premise that came out of that time in my life...along with the beginning of the Square One Workshops:

KNOWING that:

people are preoccupied with their own perceptions, problems and projections

And that most of those will fit into one of five catagories...but usually only one or two are top of consciousness ideas and the others are below the surface bubbling like an underground spring that could well up and burst at any time...

And UNDERSTANDING that:

most people are still in the FOG that often enveloped them in early childhood and lack a clear view of the harsh cliffs and spectacular beaches of reality...

they feel their way through life the best they can, hoping not to fall off the cliff while looking for the path to the sunny and warm beaches.

What I can do is...



(to be continued)

BUT, what the astute person will find in this post is the foundation, the basis of effective communication, influence and even copywriting.

Thanks for reading. I'll have one final post on this subject before I get back to work.

GJ A