Is there a "fear" that's holding you back? What should you do about it?

Good post Sandi.

I agree with much of it and I also agree with much of what Michael has said below.

I don't think that there is as much doctor involvement as you might think and I honestly believe that most doctors out there are good people that really want to help but they are so deep into their profession that they can't see reality sometimes.

Pig Pharma is out of control as well as government being out of control. there's a lot going on that drives this stuff.

Too many rules and regulations - too many lies and deceptions - too many ways for companies to unfairly profit - Too much the consumer is not being told.

It's a big mess and we as consumers, and American citizens, are as much to blame for allowing it to happen as anyone else. We elect the people who create and allow the problems.

An example - In 1988 the US had one million kids on Ritalin for ADHD - That was a number that had been pretty constant for many years- In 1989 the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) recognized ADHD as an actual "disability"

Schools get extra Federal and State funding for every kid they can label with a "disability".

By 1996 there were SIX million school kids on Ritalin.

Do you think that this "disability" actually grew that fast or was there something else driving it.

Who benefits?

Big Pharma - to the tune of billions of dollars

Our lawmakers - accepting big money from Big pharma to support their cause

Our Schools - The more kids they label, the more funds they get

The doctors - Ritalin requires a visit to the doctor every 30 days

Who loses?

Us taxpayers that allow it to happen.

Millions of school children - We're taking the best and brightest and because they don't fit the picture that our society thinks they should fit - because they're a bit more aggressive and high-spirited than most - we feel the need to drug them into compliance.

Would we feel this need if it wasn't being driven by big dollars flying around everywhere? 1988 says no.

Who's fault is it?

We can blame it on the schools, or the doctors, or Big Pharma, or our government, but in reality, it's our fault for allowing it to happen.

Sorry for my rant, but it's an issue that's really close to me right now.

Jim

Dien,

Don't worry... Some people are given the Gift of Not being able to “offend" people...

Respect has something to do with it...

Have No Fear... Google solves all of my Fears and more... Addictions is another story...

Transforming Fear...
http://www.authentic-breathing.com/t...rming_fear.htm

Denis Waitley
Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the 'someday I'll' philosophy...

http://www.motivational-inspirationa...&categoryid=40

Steve Pavlina offers some Great reads... Interesting Podcasts & ideas...

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...ercoming-fear/
http://www.stevepavlina.com/

Phil

Phil,

Thanks for quoting.

Denis Waitley
Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the 'someday I'll' philosophy..

Denis is just plain old wrong.

You see, Procrastination is, in fact, part of our make up. Part of our built in survival mechanism. It is NOT - repeat NOT - due to the fictional "Fear of Success" malarkey. (People only procrastinate on Some things. There are Plenty of things they do that require "Success" at which people do not Procrastinate... so it's not "Fear of Success" at all.)

And those who've read The Success Report know that it isn't "Fear" (of whatever) which holds someone back. Even if you Think it is.

Take Dien, for example (I am using you Dien as you had already expressed something relevant and for convenience).

Dien said...

I have a "fear" of "offending" people... I hate the idea that I might "offend" others.

And yet Dien Does offend people in Certain Ways. Such as making forum changes despite requests otherwise - removing the email address from the old forum for example, and calling it a "test" to Quiet those who wanted it to stay.

I won't get into the why's and wherefores of Selective Offending, but thought it appropriate to draw attention that... things aren't as you Think they are or as they at first Appear. And that's just the way of things.

Michael Ross

[Dien Rice]

Originally Posted by MichaelRoss

And yet Dien Does offend people in Certain Ways. Such as making forum changes despite requests otherwise - removing the email address from the old forum for example, and calling it a "test" to Quiet those who wanted it to stay.

Hi Michael,

It was a test - in that I was seeing the reaction, and if a lot of people didn't like it, I would have reverted it back to the "old" way. The impression I got was that a lot of people liked it the new way (with "cloaked" email addresses - where you could still email someone through the forum, but you couldn't actually find out their email address unless they emailed you back). That's because - at least at that time - people feared getting email spam. The "cloaked email" system stopped "robot spam email harvesters" from gathering email addresses from the forum, to send their spammy emails to...

However, you do raise a good point, which is - unless you're sitting back and doing nothing - you can't always please everyone. Sometimes, you do have to make a choice, and no matter which choice you make, not everybody will be happy with it... People are diverse!

Thanks, though, for your thoughts.

Cheers,

Dien

Dien,

Thanks for jumping back into the fray.

Anything - anything - which removes responsibility from a person is a bad thing.

If people don't want to get spam THEY can choose not to leave their email address. Anything else - and I'm not talking about just cloaked emails but anything - is Giving Up your own Power to the Mindless Masses and that is also a bad thing.

For you end up with No Integrity.

Look at Peter Garret. A Big Political Party hater who saw Nothing Good out of Any of the Majors. But one party dangles the carrot and he hops on board and now Touts the Major Party Line. No Integrity.

All I am saying with my Offend thing is... realize that no matter which way you go you Will Offend. So using the Offend thing as an Excuse of why you do or do not something, is inaccurate and doesn't wash. There's something else underlying it... but it's not about Offending because we do that whether we like it or not. And we do that as we please or see fit to. And we All do it.

So your mission is to thus delve into the Underlying Reason.

Michael Ross

[Ankesh]

Some of the fears I grapple with:

* Fear of losing control - I had a hard time delegating tasks.
* Fear of imperfection - a thing had to be perfect before I could talk about it.

Although this is not a fear, its another thing that made me slow:

* Procrastination due to being overwhelmed (with ideas, to-do list).

[Ankesh]

Thanks Dien for talking about fear. I got thinking about it and I think there are 2 main causes of fear.

1: Fear of the unknown.
You don't know what others will think. How the event/project/product will turn out. Because its easier and more convenient to stay in our comfort zone - we don't take action quickly or sufficiently.

How to fight the fear of the unknown?

i. Do something interactive.
ii. Take an impromptu acting class.
iii. Go sell door-to-door.
iv. Join a group so that there is peer pressure to do what you're scared of doing.
v. Try out those 21-day or 30-day plans. Where you stick with something for 30 days - to form a habit.
vi. Start public speaking.

2: Fear arising from failures.

Bang your car and you'll be afraid to drive again. Even though the accident may not have been your fault.

The only way to fight this fear is by getting back into the saddle.

Is there any other over-riding fear you can think of?

Sometimes, little success or achievement in any activity is enough to give people the confidence necessary to overcome their fears.

Some children are afraid of swimming, riding bicycles, or even doing well in certain subjects at school.

We teach our kids to overcome fear by being there with them, and doing these things with them until they learn to do it well enough to enjoy it.

When someone says, "I can't do math!" It's not an ability issue, it's a fear issue. Perhaps they're afraid of being perceived as a nerd or brainiac. In this case, it's about a person’s perception of what they want to be, and doing well in math doesn't fit the mold.

In this case, a change in self-perception along with achievement/success what's needed. "I need to learn how to this if I want to be..."

Thanks for the topic Dien.

[Dien Rice]

Originally Posted by Ankesh

Thanks Dien for talking about fear. I got thinking about it and I think there are 2 main causes of fear.

1: Fear of the unknown.
You don't know what others will think. How the event/project/product will turn out. Because its easier and more convenient to stay in our comfort zone - we don't take action quickly or sufficiently.

2: Fear arising from failures.

Bang your car and you'll be afraid to drive again. Even though the accident may not have been your fault.

The only way to fight this fear is by getting back into the saddle.

Is there any other over-riding fear you can think of?

Re-reading the Felix Dennis book, I think he feels that the biggest fear in business arise from the fear of the reactions of other people...

I think he thinks the biggest "fear of faillure" is really the fear of how other people will react if you do fail. For example, some may gloat at your failure, others may shake their head and feel pity for you, etc.

So he suggests because of this, you need a "thick skin" to succeed. You need to be able to "ignore" what other people you know will do or think, and plow right on ahead with your plan regardless! So he advocates you just gotta accept it, learn to live with it, and don't let it hold you back...

Thanks Ankesh, great post.

Cheers,

Dien

"FEAR OF REJECTION!"

It's "normal" to be "afraid" of the "unknown" or "Change"!...as with "Changing your job" or "Considering a Divorce" or "Changing your Home"....but the biggest "Fear" when considering starting a new biz or trying to "sell" something is the "Fear of Being Rejected"!

My initial studies and training was in "Electrical Engineering". When I went to Tech School I carried a Slide Rule on my belt and spent my days in Laboratories...BY MYSELF....with VERY LITTLE interraction with "other humans".

I was an "Introvert"...UNcomfortable with being around people.

However...when I discovered that the man I had replaced (at General Electric Corp) was "let go BEFORE his "vested retirement rights set in"...and 3 other engineers in my office were also "let go" and replaced by younger people just prior to their "vested rights" set in....I KNEW....I had to "get the heck outa there" so that I didn't spend 25 or 30 yrs with this Co and "let go" just before my retirement rights set in.

So...I spent about 6 mos hunting for a business I could start...FROM MY HOME!

I found a guy in Florida (from an Ad in the Wall Street Jounal) who had created a new type of Home Burglar Alarm.

I bought a Demo Kit and set about learning how to Sell and Install this product in homes. Only one problem;
I HAD TO MAKE CONTACT WITH HOMEOWNERS!

This meant "Personal Contact" with other humans.

I was "scared out of my wits"! Why? Because I would have to learn how to "Sell" my product. And...because I would LOSE my "Insurance" and other "perks"...I would have to provide these things MYSELF.

So...after being "advised" by my parents, brothers, uncles, cousins, friends and....my "worried and frustrated and scared" wife....NOT "venture out into my own biz"...I went to my bank and opened a New Account called "Security Associates"...had some biz cards and letterheads printed and...."Put My Head Down and BARGED FORWARD".

I did not quit my job but started my biz and started working it in the eves and on weekends. And...after 3 weeks of trying to sell my product and getting rejected by a dozen prospects...I was almost ready to give up when, a dentist BOUGHT MY PROPOSAL.

This was a complete surprise.

It was then I realized, prospects were NOT "rejecting ME"...they were rejecting "my product".

It was NOT....MY personality or persona or appearance or anything else about ME...it was MY PROGRAM....they were rejecting.

When I realized that...my confidence changed. I then began to concentrate on "PRESENTING BENEFITS" of my product or program. I took the FOCUS off ME and onto "my product".

This was when I learned how to "SELL".

With the results being...the 2 neighbors of my first sale expressed an interest in a quote for their homes and....I SOLD THEM BOTH!

This was when I went into my boss's office at GE and presented my resignation....and...never looked back.

So...after many years of starting MANY business programs I learned that, after I did my "due dilligence" and "research" on a new product or program;
1) I "BARGED AHEAD" with what I had and went out onto the "battlefield"
realizing that
2) My "Target Marget" will tell me HOW to sell them....AND....I will get my "shins bruised" with the first few prospects.

As an aside;
Because most of the products and programs of interest to me have been "Advertising Systems" ....which involve making "personal calls" on businesses and professionals....I've seen many "NO Soliciting" signs.

These "signs" just SPUR ME ON! Because I know that "other" salespeople will see those signs and not enter. Which means I will be talking to (for the most part)....someone who has NOT seen a lot of salespeople.

Again....I no longer have a "Fear of Rejection". If a prospect does not buy my product or program...I do NOT consider it a "rejection of ME". It only spurs me on to find out how I can "present my Benefits" stronger.

Thanks for reading,
Don Alm

Some of the Products and Programs I've sold
http://www.midasreports.com