The CURSE of POSITIVE THINKING - The Cry Baby

There are many avenues of thought that could be taken from the story.

But the one I look at relates to the Father.

I have 10 children (8 girls - 2 boys), and I have struggled over the years with balancing the need to encourage, correct, and "be positive" with my children with facing the reality of limitations.

I've read those books, and wondered about...are there "real" limitations?

As you see each one develop and grow, you inherently see that they are unique, and that they all strong in some areas, and weak in others.

Balancing the "facts" of reality has been a constant tightrope walk over the years.

Instilling a "positive" outlook and attitude is important, but I would tend to favor a sort of revision to the concept.

I have attempted to model and teach my family that they need to find the things that they do well, and then develop those areas with confidence. I have never told them that they could win just by "being positive". We have allowed the to try many things, but we then discuss the outcome, make appropriate adjustments, and move on.

Sometimes that has meant that we just faced the fact that the thing we / they desired just wasn't meant for them.

An example...

When we moved to Las Vegas, I took my family to see a number of the magic shows in town.

All of a sudden, my 2 boys decided they wanted to be the next magician team to rock the city.

As a dad who wanted them to try, I "invested" quite a sum of money in the materials, stage props, and so on.

But it wasn't to be.

I won't go into details, but Seigfreid and Roy have nothing to fear. But we rejoiced in the fact that they tried, and the 2 years taught them some great lessons. And they have some great memories that many young folks never get.

A side benefit was actually meeting with and going backstage on a number of occasions with Seigfreid and Roy, David Copperfield, and Lance Burton.

Then with the girls, it has been gymnastics.

One is now a gymnastics instructor, but a couple of the others learned that the gym wasn't the place that they would be.

They found other niches.

As a father, I have had to allow my children the freedom to try many things, and fail at many things.

But when they have found that "sweet spot" in their life, I have "put the peddle to the metal" so to speak, and let them take off like a rocket.

We only have 1 daughter left at home now...and I miss some of the things that just writing this little note has brought to mind.

Though I assume the point of the story was different from what I came away with, I am thankful that the tears I have seen my children shed have been from disappointments that we as a family were able to think through, learn from, and then treasure later on in life.

I also am thankful that I have had a part in building the lives of 10 human beings who have the confidence to try just about anything, and though they may not win, they never feel like a loser.

Hmmm...


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