The CURSE of POSITIVE THINKING - The Cry Baby

touching upon that subject in his book "Winning Through Intimidation".

Essentially he said that no matter how much you think "positive" about something most of the factors that ultimately determine success or failure are out of your control. He suggested "hoping for the best" while "expecting the worst".

He found this perspective greatly benefitted him in business dealings. He was able to keep his emotions in check when entering negotiations and other business events where emotions could kick in and over ride good judgement.

Robert Fritz also has a big problem with positive thinking in that in essence you are lying to yourself... and by doing so you alter your sense of reality. And you need a correct sense of reality to adequetly judge any real-life situation. If your reality is screwed up you are much more likely to make incorrect choices.

Take care,

Mike Winicki

It's not about the fact that the kid failed and that the kid cried it's about the fact that the father instilled the wrong *type* of belief in him.

The best example I can think of comes from a book called Good to Great by Jim Collins.
They called an idea on positive thinking 'The Stockdale Paradox'.

Basically it means that you never waver in your belief that one day you will achieve your goal but you face the brutal reality of your situation. In this case the kid should have practised more because he wasn't good enough. That was his brutal reality. Had he really wanted it and had the belief instilled that 'one day' he would win, if he kept practising, kept working, concentrating and focusing then sooner or later he would prevail and beat the opposition.

Stockdale was a prisoner of war who survived years of torture and brutality. When asked who didn't make it, he replied 'That's easy, the optimists'. He never wavered in the belief that one day he'd go home, he just never (like the optimist) expected it by Christmas, or Easter or next year. The optimistic people did and died of a broken heart.

Positive thinking is good. It's just it has to be the right type of positive thinking.

it seems to answer a lot of questions.

Thanks for sharing that Steve. When you take James Stockdale's approach, it breeds tenacity. I believe that tenacity is one of the main keys to success.

Eventually, you learn what seems to work, and what doesn't.

Perhaps this kind of optimism is really a "belief in yourself" - that you're good enough to be able to be a success. Maybe not at this very moment, but you will succeed in the future, eventually - if you stick with it long enough!

- Dien Rice

> The best example I can think of comes from a
> book called Good to Great by Jim Collins.
> They called an idea on positive thinking
> 'The Stockdale Paradox'.

> Basically it means that you never waver in
> your belief that one day you will achieve
> your goal but you face the brutal reality of
> your situation. In this case the kid should
> have practised more because he wasn't good
> enough. That was his brutal reality. Had he
> really wanted it and had the belief
> instilled that 'one day' he would win, if he
> kept practising, kept working, concentrating
> and focusing then sooner or later he would
> prevail and beat the opposition.

> Stockdale was a prisoner of war who survived
> years of torture and brutality. When asked
> who didn't make it, he replied 'That's easy,
> the optimists'. He never wavered in the
> belief that one day he'd go home, he just
> never (like the optimist) expected it by
> Christmas, or Easter or next year. The
> optimistic people did and died of a broken
> heart.

> Positive thinking is good. It's just it has
> to be the right type of positive thinking.

I've been in one type of business or another for decades - most were of my own creation. All were entered with nothing but positive thinking and high expectations for resounding success.

Some succeeded better than others, while some failed. The failures did not dampen my positive thinking for the next encounter.

And now, as I look back, I clearly see how each added something to my experience bank and enables me to enter something new with the confidence of knowing what works and what doesn't in terms of dealing with the public and ways of promoting business.

The positive thinking (and excited anticipation) gets the ball rolling and the experiences that ensue will hone your skills that can be drawn upon for future endeavors.

That experiences that lead to failure tells me what doesn't work and therefore what to avoid.

That's been my experience and I'm very excited about the future because of it!

Lawrence