TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?

[Dien Rice]

Originally Posted by -TW

Friends are a good way to find support.

Problem is, in this case, I'm not quite sure if my 'friends' will lead me in the correct direction. As I said in my op, my 'friends' all are firm believers in 'entrepreneurial stuff' -- and maybe THAT'S the problem!

Are THEY on the right track -- or are they just 'kool aid' drinkers (deluded people)?

That's the fundamental question.

Is the key to ultimate satisfaction + success to follow the entrepreneurial path? Or is that really the road to hell (financially) in disguise?

What good does it do to get directions from people who live in la-la land? Are they just pulling me back into the bucket?

Hi TW,

First, I'll just mention, I'm coming out of a bit of a "dark time" myself... Several things "went wrong" within a short time period. Then... Just yesterday, one thing fixed itself. Something happened that showed me the road to fix one of the things, and I figured out how we'll fix the 3rd thing that went wrong.Today, the last thing will (hopefully) be on the road to being fixed...

(The last thing that went wrong, by the way, is my laptop. My laptop went kaput! Aargh! But... Luckily, I had just backed it up a few days before it did! I hadn't backed it up for months, then thought, it's about time I backed it up on my external hard drive. Thank goodness for that, since it could have been much worse! I'm writing this on an "older", slower laptop... But at least I have all my data on my external hard drive backup! I'm taking my regular laptop in for repairs today...)

As to whether your friends are leading you in the wrong direction... Are they successful entrepreneurial friends? If not, that doesn't mean you should "ditch" them... But, get yourself some additional entrepreneurial friends who have had some success... Their "counsel" may prove itself to be more valuable...

Successful entrepreneurs are all around. Some have had "more" success than others, but successful entrepreneurs are really not that hard to find. They're in your community, they're at seminars and conferences (not only on stage, but also in the audience), they may even be distant relatives or old "long-lost" (ready to be re-found) high school friends, they're probably emailing you stuff (if you're on their mailing list), heck, they're even in this forum...

If you want to know how to find very successful entrepreneurs, get one of Thomas Stanley's books, "Marketing to the Affluent", "Selling to the Affluent", and/or "Networking with the Affluent"... (I have the first two books, but not the third...)

Of course, every relationship has to be "win/win" for it to work...

Cheers,

Dien

Anyone else experience this sudden mind shift before?
And, if so, did you ever recover -- and how did you recover?

Been there, done that. 1996 I discovered that everything I knew, was wrong.

It's like suddenly coming out into a bright afternoon from a dark theatre. All was fantasy there in the dark, and it was a fun place to be. Most entertaining.

When you come outside it feels other worldly and you have to squint until your eyes adjust to the bright light of reality.

I recovered and can see fine now.

Recovery came from learning two truths.

1. "Expectations are premeditated resentments."

2. "Only play in games that you can win."

Think long on number one. There's a lot to see behind that saying.

Number two takes some thought as well, but you'll find it good advice.

Just speculating on your case here...

You expected somebody to do X and either he didn't do anything, or he did D instead. Now you have resentment.

What that somebody did or did not do caused you harm of some sort, so you came out the loser.

Next time, set yourself up so that no matter what happens when dealing with others you can't lose. No need for expectations, they either perform or not and you don't care which because you can't lose whatever game you're playing.

Recent example of mine. I made an offer of help, in exchange for a future partnership in a project. I am doing the work whether or not the other party performs, so I can't lose anything. I had some expectations of the other party, but I made sure to express them up front. No assumptions, no trust, just a statement of needs.

Like most such deals, like yours, it blew up for unknown reasons. The guy just stopped communicating with me. Who knows why? The bigger question is who cares? I certainly don't, because I only play games I can't lose, and if I have expectations (it's very hard not to have them) I express them up front.

Find somebody to give you a good HUG, and welcome to the shiny side.

Hi, TW,

You've had a big disappointment so it is perfectly natural to question anything and everything related to the disappointment. This coping mechanism that you're feeling now is a good sign (even if it doesn't feel like it now) because it means you have the capacity to cope with things and figure it out.

The upside of this coping/depressive syndrome is that, eventually, you will come out on the other side of it with a stronger, better, understanding. It's the LIGHT at the end of the tunnel but remember: you must navigate the dark tunnel to see the light. Stay the course, use your head, friends, any other resources you have, and you will come out much the better for it.

Yes, I've been there, done that. It changed a lot for me...from quitting the Warrior Forum to modifying goals and strategies. It's been tons better for me, personally. A bit painful to discover the illusions but rewarding to also discover the gems among the rubble. Look for your gems, TW. Best wishes for your successful journey to entrepreneurial enlightenment.

Sandi Bowman

P.S. You may find it useful to start an informal journal to record discoveries, thoughts, things to explore etc.