Please critique (+ vote on) my headlines -- Thanks!...

[GordonJ]

You recently posted that you were going to have a Don Alm summer. Right?

And you gave him (us) the three examples of what you are going to be doing, right?

Christmas coupons, pizza boxes (or something like that) and hotel channel guides.

So my question is, what are you writing headlines for? A different project?

In this post about your HEADLINES, you don't tell us what it is going to be used for, which certainly makes a difference as to what kind of headline and whatever comes after it, is to be used.

Alm projects are shoeleather in the street, and having done a few of them, they almost all depend on face to face presentations.

Especially the 3 you mention you are going to do. So, I was just wondering WHAT will you be using the headlines for? HOW do you help local businesses get more customers?

The answer determines what headline, if any of those, might be tested first.

Are you going to do "Alm esque" stuff for a few hours a week, and then do something with a 'direct marketing' aspect to it too?

I'm confused as to what you need headlines for.

Gordon

I wanted to see if, perhaps, there was a way to get biz's to call me re: the Alm stuff. Maybe have a direct mail piece that would do some of the pre-prospecting work for me -- the sorting. And/or have a letter in an envelope marked confidential I could leave with the name of the owner handwritten on the envelope to LEAVE with the employee when I walked into the biz unannounced and the owner was NOT there. At least that might maximize the use of my time + gas to do the in-person canvassing -- so, when an owner was not in, it would not be a TOTAL loss, potentially.

-- TW

[GordonJ]

OK TW,

I get it. But again, it is what comes after the headline which will help you write one.

How "developed" is your marketing piece? Is it a letter in an envelope? Then you first have to get the envelope opened.

A direct mail piece could be a postcard, a letter or a flyer or a "lumpy" package, etc.

I think you are trying to get businesses to raise their hands and say, "yes, I want more customers, what have you got for me?"

IF this is correct, then the advice would be to CUSTOMIZE every piece of mail. A little more time consuming, but much more effective. Example, you want a Dry Cleaner to advertise on your Pizza Box (now the pizza guy gets the boxes for FREE, so that should be an easy "sale", right?).

So your direct mail piece might have the teaser on the envelope, "How Dry Cleaners have found a way to get 22% more customers..." (Read How Inside) type of thing.

THEN, your headline matches up to the business, giving you much better chance of getting a face to face...so using YOUR headlines, it would look something like:

"Give me a 15 minute meeting at your Dry Cleaner (best if you name it) and I'll show you how to get up to 27% more customers..." etc.

Now, with today's cut and paste features, you just insert a new name into the Dry Cleaner slot...and you customize your letter.

See, you'll find that EVERY businessman thinks HIS business is unique...so if you speak in general business terms...he'll discount your message right from the start...BUT,

if you talk about HIS business, and how you have tested and proven methods to increase HIS business, you'll be greeted with a much more open mind which will save you tons of time, gas money and shoe leather.

YEA, it takes a little more effort and time to CUSTOMIZE your direct mail piece (not much)...but the results will be worth it...provided you have a good presentation and an Almlike "sample" of the product when you do get a call.

So, my OPINION is, the best headline is using some of what you have along with a custom tailored direct mail piece that will get the prospect thinking about HIS business in specific, not some general biz idea.

Also, and please let us know, but, I think you're going to find this direct mail effort to be a lot of wasted time...why not just use the phone? Then call in person? Hope you find a way to make it work though.

Gordon Alexander

Originally Posted by -TW

I wanted to see if, perhaps, there was a way to get biz's to call me re: the Alm stuff. Maybe have a direct mail piece that would do some of the pre-prospecting work for me -- the sorting. And/or have a letter in an envelope marked confidential I could leave with the name of the owner handwritten on the envelope to LEAVE with the employee when I walked into the biz unannounced and the owner was NOT there. At least that might maximize the use of my time + gas to do the in-person canvassing -- so, when an owner was not in, it would not be a TOTAL loss, potentially.

-- TW

Hey TW....with "Shoeleather On the Ground" type of projects (GJ's words absolutely describes what I do)....the "Alm-type" projects...do NOT use any kind of "PRE-Qualifiying" sales piece! It's a waste of time & money!

MY kinda projects are NOT "Mail Order" where you're looking to get prospects to send you a check. MY projects are..."WHAM, BAM, THANK YA, MAAM!" and there's ONLY 2 ways to get "leads" for these;

1) Phone Calls to OWNERS of businesses...introduce yourself, tell him what you're doing and where...how he can benefit (what's in it for him)...and I tell them, "It's too hard to explain on the phone, would you have a Quick Minute this afternoon or would tomorrow morning be better?"
Only problem with the Phone is; Prospects CAN'T SEE your Full Color Sample and it's Too Easy to turn you down.

2) In person Cold Calls....I just barge in...find the owner...show him my sample...explain what it does and where it's going. I wait for him to ask me "How Much"...I then tell him and offer an incentive to BUY NOW (I usually drop the $30 Setup Fee)....and write up the order.

Granted...you may "burn extra gas" because the Hardest part of doing these projects is..."Finding The Owner IN!"

However...a few weeks ago, when I was returning from a trip to Eugene, OR, as I was coming to a tiny town called Creswell, OR...I saw a newly built Comfort Inn on the side of the highway. I turned in...showed the GM one of my sample TV Channel Guides...he have permission to put them into his rooms.

I then went to the Pizzeria he suggested....sold the owner a space on the front...went next door to a Chinese Restaurant (sold her)...then across the street to a family rest (sold the sisters)...then to a Beauty Salon (sold her)

Whammo...Bango...$1800 in less than 2 hours.

You will NOT get biz owners to respond on any of MY Advertising programs by mailing something to them! Period! End!

However...if you are selling "Websites" or "Website Enhancement" programs, that's a different ballgame!

I make up a Full Color PostCard of a businesses website (the top of the home page)...place in some of the problems I see or what I would do to improve it, with white Quote Boxes and arrows pointing.

THAT will GRAB their attention! Why? Because it is THEIR OWN WEBSITE they are looking at...on the PostCard! This is POWERFUL!

I can send you a Sample of what I'm referring to if you send me a PM. This is CRAZY! I use Send Out Cards to do this. Out of 20 PostCards sent out last week...EIGHT responded with wanting to know more.

It's the PERSONALIZATION that is the Grabber. They INSTANTLY RECOGNIZE THEIR OWN WEBSITE!

I think SOC still charges $99 to join.

So...you can also give me a call.

Don Alm....STILL selling
http://www.midasreports.com

Well, ways to find out are look at how people react to you. If you are getting the feeling that you're being misunderstood, then maybe brush up on your basic manners and behavior and monitor yourself to see if you might be making any blunders.