How to find your IDEAL lover...

friend, companion, associate, or even business partner.

In 5 easy steps:

ONE: Know what you want...HEY, are you starting to recognize a central theme here? Hope so.

TWO: Know Why.

THREE: BELIEVE you can do it.

FOUR: FOCUS.

FIVE: ACTIVITY AND ADJUSTMENT.

So far at sowpub, and WE AIN'T OPEN YET, we have talked about money and marketing things.

But as you see above, that is only ONE of the five paths of life as taught in the SQUARE ONE WORKSHOPS.

There is an even bigger LAKE out here in Cyberspace than the Financial one.

It is the PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP one.

Chats. ICQ. Instant Messenger.

Thousands of places to MEET people. Scores of sites to place your "personal ad" on.

MILLIONS are seeking better relationships. Tons of lonely people. Not having money is tough.

Not having someone to "share" your life is, in my opinion, even tougher.

And you know by now, I'm not just about making money. I'm going to cover the whole Expressway. All five lanes.

So, for those happily married and some might say LUCKY PEOPLE (like Richard D.) you can skip this one. Unless you know of someone that might be interested in learning how to find a quality relationship.

I feel a story coming on.

Let's call them Debby and Betty.

The worked together. Both were in their late 20's. Single. Never married. NO kids either...almost remarkable in today's age.

Anyhow, they were looking.

Both had one incredibly POND SCUMMY relationship after another. Caught more frogs than a chef in a New Orleans high priced restaurant.

Kissed more toads than they'd ever admit.

So, here's where I came in. Giving advice. Most of the time it is asked for, but even then, I KNOW BETTER than to give it.

Thanks to my friends, I've learned NOT to get involved, even when asked, when begged, when faxed and e-mailed constantly...NOW, I know better.

But back then. Well. They asked for my help because they had heard about the POA.

So I talked to them.

Betty and Debby went out every FRIDAY night after work. To the same 'bar and grille' they had been going to for years. Let's be honest, it was a BAR.

Nothing wrong with a bar, but this was their primary 'fishin hole' when it came to the men folk.

So I started with SQUARE ONE.

What do you want?

OH, I am a rather boring guy, one thought always on my mind.

But they answered in generalities.

I made them get specific. From the gound up, and as you take a look at the COLORED SQ1 Pictogrigm of Life below, you see the colors are significant.

Brown/Gold is the inside of the Earth, and represents THINGS, and MONEY.. Why money? What do we value? Gold? Diamonds? Silver? Iron Ore turned into THINGS? Well, that's a quick lesson in SQ1

Green is the earth and us on it.

RED is relations, the heat of passion, the fire of human connections.

Blue is the sky, and represents the Mental aspect of people. Our thinking.

White, the clouds, is the spiritual part.

OK, enough with SQ1, learn that later.

But I always start from the ground up. To build a foundation. Then to constuct a Framework. Then to Focus in on the desired experience.

So I had Debby and Betty start from the ground up and DESCRIBE in detail the kind of man they were looking for. It was hard for them.

But we got some things down on paper. Tall, good looking, rich, and KIND.

They didn't want much.

First thing? I made them go to____________?

If you said BELIEF, I have hope for you...HA!

Neither lady believed they 'deserved' or would find such a man.

EXIT ONE.

I'm going to skip a whole bunch of the middle stuff and cut to the chase, as we movie makin wannabees are apt to say...

Within six months Betty was engaged to the MAN OF HER DREAMS. Debby? Hittin the same ol bar on Friday night, and crying her lonely self to sleep.

What magic did I teach Betty? To IDENTIFY what she really wanted. It was hard. After we got through all that tall dark and handsome crap, we identified some KEY elements that she really wanted in a man.

She wanted children. My response, find a guy that wants a family too.

No duh, right? Ask your single female friends, not as easy as it sounds.

Lot of skunks out in the woods. Lot of toads.

So we built from the ground up her IDEAL mate.

Now we had a "picture", not of physical traits necessarily, although to some it is important, but she was able to see herself in a married life of her own vision.

Then I told her the secret.

Get ready to cut and paste this and send it to every single person you know looking.

Don't go LOOKING for them, let them FIND you.

Or Put yourself on same path they are on, and let them run into you.

That's the secret.

Turned out Betty wanted an active guy. Someone to do things OUTDOORS with. Someone to go camping with. Someone who loved nature, and animals.

So I asked, "How many are you going to find in that bar every Friday night?"

Where would YOUR IDEAL man hang out on a Friday night?

SHE GOT IT. BINGO. THE LIGHT BULF WENT OFF.

Then we addressed EXIT ONE. Her belief.

I made her make a list of what she would bring to the table. What were her good qualities? Her strengths?

By having me there, I could be unemotional and point out the truths as I knew them to be.

Turns out she had a LOT to offer...

to the right person...

to the person that was SEEKING someone like her...

and that is when I springed one of the laws of nature on her...

that which you are seeking, is also seeking you...

Consider the seed that goes into the ground. As soon as it is planted, the forces of Nature act to bring it what it needs. Water. Nourishment.

It reaches into the good earth, seeking sustenance, the earth responds by providing it.

For those of you that can get it, I just exposed a huge principle of life. But, on with the story.

Once I was able to show Betty that she had what someone else wanted, we then had to figure out where this person would be...

NOT in the bar on Friday night.

Maybe at a Sierra Club meeting. Maybe giving a walk at the local park. Maybe teaching a class on bird watching at the local Y.

Maybe teaching a Sunday school class because he loves children, and wants a family of his own.

Once we identified the PATHS that the Ideal person would most likely be on, she simply placed herself on those very same paths.

Debby in the meantime, never got past BELIEF. She just could not accept the idea that someone would be looking for her. A great lady. Tremendous HEART. World class care.

But she couldn't see how that would be attractive to anyone. All she could see was the plain, unattractive face in the mirror.

All she could see was the "second choice", the girl left over after all the good looking ones were taken. All she could see was the one that guys settled for, when there was no left to pick.

It broke my heart. Literally.

But the point is this. One lady got what she wanted by KNOWING it and by having a PLAN and by doing the ACTIVITY to make it happen.

The other? She is to this day single. Lonely.

You can find her this Friday in a Bar. The same one she's been going to for years and years. I don't think she will ever find her Ideal...

she will settle. For someone who "settled" for her. Debby couldn't see the tree for the forest.

But, it was her choice.

Do you know of someone seeking? Tell them come and visit sowpub...we've got something to tell them.

Something that might change their life. Maybe. Maybe not. In the end, it is always up to them.

Gordon (Mr. Lonely Hearts Club) Alexander

PS. The world works much better as a WE proposition than an I, if the WE is compatible.