The Attitude of Success!

I've noticed an interesting phenomenon with people....

When you tell them repeatedly something about themselves for long enough, they will start to believe it.

If you tell someone that you think they are dumb, stupid, or lazy, after a while - they'll start to believe that they are dumb, stupid, or lazy. Sometimes, parents say these things to their kids, and then when their kids turn out that way, the parents think to themselves, "See, I was right all along."

However, if on the other hand, you tell someone that they are good with people, or that they are smart, or that they are creative - they'll start to believe that they are good with people, smart, or creative. You'll see their attitude perk up, they'll be more confident. In the long run, they'll be more successful. Their different attitude will make them successes, as we'll see below.

Parents who tell their kids these things, tend to have kids who achieve success. If a child does badly on a test, one parent will tell the child "you're an idiot." But another parent will say, "you're smart, you just didn't work hard enough." There's a world of difference between these two statements.... The second statement assumes the child has the *ability* to do better if they put in more effort, while the first statement does not. A child who is told "you're an idiot" will stop trying, as they'll think, "why should I bother, since I'm an idiot?"

Here's what one personnel director in an appliance manufacturing company said.... Although these comments are about job success, these points count doubly for entrepreneurial and business success. Note what he says makes for success in a job....

He says...

"We have about 800 non-production people. Under our personnel audit system, an assistant and I interview each employee every six months. Our purpose is simple. We want to learn how we can help him in his job. We think this is a good practice because each person working with us is important, else he wouldn't be on the payroll.

"We are careful not to ask the employees any point-blank questions. Instead, we encourage him to talk about whatever he wants to. We aim to get his honest impressions. After each interview we fill out a rating form on the employee's attitudes toward specific aspects of his job.

"Now here's something I've learned. Our employees fit into one of two categories, group A and group B, on the basis of how they think towards their jobs.

"The persons in group B talk mainly about security, company retirement plans, sick leave policy, extra time off, what we're doing to improve the insurance program, and if they will be asked to work overtime next March as they were last March. They also talk a lot about disagreeable features of their job, things they don't like in fellow-workers, and so on. People in group B - and they include close to 80 per cent of all non-production personnel - view their jobs as a sort of necessary evil.

"The group A fellow sees his job through different glasses. He is concerned about his future and wants concrete suggestions on what he can do to make faster progress. He doesn't expect us to give him anything except a chance. The group A people think on a broader scale. They make suggestions for improving the business. They regard these interviews in my office as constructive. But the group B people often feel our personnel audit system is just a brainwashing affair, and they're glad to get it over with.

"Now there's a way I check attitudes and what they mean to job success. All recommendations for promotions, pay increases, and special privileges are channeled to me by the employee's immediate supervisor. Almost invariably, it's a group A person who was recommended. And again almost without exception, problems come from the group B category.

"The biggest challenge in my job is to try and help people move from group B to group A. It's not easy, though, because until a person thinks his job is important and thinks positively about it, he can't be helped."

Now think.... In your own attitudes, are you in group A or group B? A person in group B can change his or her attitude to become more of a go-getter and increase their success!

Here's another story.... There were three brick-layers at work. One person asked each of them, "What are you doing?"

The first brick-layer answered, "I'm laying a brick."

The second answered, "I'm making $10 an hour."

And the third answered, "Me? Why, I'm building the world's greatest cathedral."

Which brick-layer found the most success in his life?

Probably the first two just trudged along in their lives, perhaps complaining about their "bad luck" on how they never get promoted.

But the third bricklayer.... he was probably promoted well ahead of the other two. Perhaps he went on to start his own building company. The sky was his limit....

That's the attitude needed to find success!

Hope you enjoyed the post.... Now, you can apply this too, as I will as well. :)

- Dien Rice

There were three Internet businessmen at work. One person asked each of them, "What are you doing?"

The first answered, "I'm tweaking the script."

The second answered, "I'm selling a book for $10 a copy."

And the third answered, "Me? Why, I'm building the world's greatest organization."
---------------------

Dien,
Do you realize that your "story" undermined 99% of the so-called Internet businesses?

> There were three Internet businessmen at
> work. One person asked each of them,
> "What are you doing?"

> The first answered, "I'm tweaking the
> script."

> The second answered, "I'm selling a
> book for $10 a copy."

> And the third answered, "Me? Why, I'm
> building the world's greatest
> organization."
> ---------------------

> Dien,
> Do you realize that your "story"
> undermined 99% of the so-called Internet
> businesses?

Hi Simon,

I loved your "rewriting" of the story....

Gosh, that really drives the point home, so it hits you like a brick!

- Dien Rice

Dien, the third guy in the version I heard most recently was fired ... they were building a new betting shop ;)
Seriously (the segue used by many would-be comedians when a punchline goes flat) your story is very apt in all fields.
My particular take is that we should concentrate on acheiving a profitable business and a happy life.
If we can manage that, enough money will come.


home of great tricks and bad jokes

Very interesting!

Where kind words are lacking, we should create them for ourselves. Yes, I am referring to positive self talk. In order for others to believe in us, we need to believe in ourselves.

People who believe in themselves have shed the self-guilt(i.e., I am not worthy of success), they've shed the guilt induced by others (i.e., I don't know why you spend all of your time working on that), they've acknowledged and overcome their excuses (i.e., I can't do it because), etc.

Belief and confidence in one's self radiates--it is contagious and motivates others. If you are working alongside someone who is building a cathedral, do you want to be laying brick?

This is probably why forums like this are so successful--people with less confidence are ignited by those who believe in themselves. A person who comes to this forum believing that they are (for example) "writing a book" may leave believing they are creating a solution. Writing a book is putting words on paper (or the screen)--creating a solution is helping the consumer.

This reminds me of people who want to get rich fast and retire. The focus is no longer on creating solutions...instead, it is on creating wealth. If you believe that you are creating solutions, an early retirement may not seem like a great idea--you would be letting down many people who need you!

I see these types of professors at the university where I work--they can't retire, because there are so many students that need to be enlightened, so much research to be conducted and shared with the world.

If money, fame and early retirement are not THE motivating factors (well yes, they do factor in of course)then you might be on the right track and have the right attitude!

Becky




The consumer's best friends...usability, security, privacy and trust

Dien,

I'd like to make a few comments if that's okay.....your story below shows a few angles of human response and the collective result from each response maybe somewhat generalised and that makes me wonder that in fact, like many accepted generalisations.....they are in fact wrong or at the very least...distorted.

> Here's another story.... There were three
> brick-layers at work. One person asked each
> of them, "What are you doing?"

> The first brick-layer answered, "I'm
> laying a brick."

Okay this one seems obvious and therefore we may consider that it is indeed lacking in a certain imaginary way, but the bricklayer might be laying the foundation that builds an empire, the first brick that helps shape a society or something of value.....

> The second answered, "I'm making $10 an
> hour."

Here this certain bricklayer might have come from a job where he was making $5 an hour and is therefore bettering himself, maybe, just maybe his goal is to be the person who owns a company that employes thousands of bricklayers who join together to shape a new world that is built on bricks, which of course is a foundation;>) for all humanity.

> And the third answered, "Me? Why, I'm
> building the world's greatest
> cathedral."

Here we have a person who thinks big and may go on to greatness, but he could also be a complete dreamer who while maybe building the world's greatest Cathedral, is actually the worst bricklayer of them all and will never amount to anything except to brag to his next door neighbor during a BBQ, how he once helped build the (at the time) world's biggest Cathedral.

> Which brick-layer found the most success in
> his life?

Again it's all about perception......some... maybe a majority may think that the first two are doomed...but I look at it differently.

> Probably the first two just trudged along in
> their lives, perhaps complaining about their
> "bad luck" on how they never get
> promoted.

> But the third bricklayer.... he was probably
> promoted well ahead of the other two.
> Perhaps he went on to start his own building
> company. The sky was his limit....

I'm not specifically disagreeing, but I can perceive an alternative and that makes the end result different, if only too me.

> That's the attitude needed to find success!

> Hope you enjoyed the post.... Now, you can
> apply this too, as I will as well. :)

Yes I did enjoy the post and I will contact you via email if that's okay.

Max.

PS. I like it here.....just don't get me drunk.......;>)

> - Dien Rice

Dien --

First lets seperate your two stories as I think they are talking about different things. The brick story is fine. I take issue with the first story by the personnel director.

See - people approach things in different ways. I can see two types of motivation in the example you provided by the personnel director. Neither is better than the other. If you try to change the way a person motivates themselves you do yourself no favors. Because of this assessing people in the manor described can actually cause you to overlook some valuable talent and promote others who should not be.

This can also be tied to sales. Knowing how a person motivates themselves helps you to move them towards a buying decision.

Reference the book I recommened on the "Study Group" for an excellant reference to these sort of things.

I absolutely agree with you on how language can influence children in their endeavors. And I get plenty of opportunity to test that out!

Hope that helps.

-- Dan Butler




Make your computer fun again...

Hi Dien!

It's been a while! : ) Hope life is being good to you.

Like you, I too read the tidbit about the bricklayers. Was that at Joe Vitale's site? I don't recall... nevertheless, it does not matter where.

I also read Max's letter, below. I laughed. Really laughed. He makes some good points.

For, when that "person" is "building the world's most beautiful cathedral" yes - they may truly have a vision. Then again, they may also have illusions of grandiosity. And who is to know?

You see, I have a little sister that talks just that way. On any given day of the week, she might be writing the next runaway best seller. Or she may be designing the newest Martha Stewart decorating trend. But, fact of the matter is that she has done none of that. The bestseller is a paragraph, at most, scratched on a piece of notepaper - and abandoned. Likewise with the interior fashions. Dreams to fill her day with while her husband "brings home the bacon." (Michael's kind of girl *wink*)

Yes, it's true that attitude is important. More pointedly, it helps not to be pessimistic about everything. It helps not to be dour and miserable and find the bad in everything instead of the good.

But, even more so... the mark of the person who will succeed? Persistance. Tenacity. The stubborn insistance on hanging on, pushing forward and refusing to give up!

The late Irving Stone wrote biographies of men such as Michelangelo, Vincent van Gogh, Sigmund Freud, and Charles Darwin. Stone was once asked if he had found a thread that runs through the lives of exceptional people. He said;

"They are beaten over the head, knocked down, vilified, and for years they get nowhere. But every time they're knocked down they stand up. You cannot destroy these people...."

Take, for example, the person whose website sucks. Doesn't make any sales. Do they quit? Walk away? Many do. Then there is the person that will change it, and change it again, and persist. And learn. And grow. And hang in there with sheer stubborn persistance. And work a second job if they have to, and stay up at night to promote the site. And THAT, my friend, is the person who is going to sit back and reap the rewards down the road. Persistance. Tenacity!

Here, on the Internet, people are searching for that key to fame. To wealth and financial reward. They study others that are succeeding, trying to find a common denominator. The key to success, if you will.

Eventually it dawns on us. Words are power. The man (woman) who has a gift with words has power. Power to affect your thoughts & your responses.

To those reading all the articles out there, be cautious of the power of words. They can as easily sway you the wrong way as they can point you in the right direction.

So yes... have a good attitude. If for no other reason that this; you get what you give. But above all, believe in yourself - hang in there. Be persistant and tenacious, not in ignorance, but in a search for knowledge. Be like the willow tree - bend with the wind when you need to, but keep your roots firmly planted in that which you know and believe. In the end, persistance is what will keep one foot in front of the other until you reach the place of your dreams.

As always, just my two cents.

Linda


Have you seen the hall of shame?

Hi Becky,

Glad you liked the article.... :)

> Where kind words are lacking, we should
> create them for ourselves. Yes, I am
> referring to positive self talk. In order
> for others to believe in us, we need to
> believe in ourselves.

I agree fully.... And positive self talk is an important factor. As well as getting rid of negative self talk....

I think many people have a lot of negative self talk going on.... It may be so "normal" to you that you don't even notice it. What I mean is, what do you say when you have those little "conversations" with yourself, when you are thinking?

Some people will get an idea, then immediately an *irrational* negative response will arise....

For example, they might think to themselves, "I could create an ezine" - then *immediately*, the thought will spring up, "Oh, nobody would want to read what I'd write." That's an example of *irrational* negative self-talk....

The solution is to be aware of when you do this, and to then question your own negative statements.

In the example above, if you notice you told yourself "nobody would want to read what I'd write," then reply to it with, "Really, NOBODY would want to read it? That sounds like an exaggeration, I'm sure SOMEBODY would be interested. At least ONE person would be interested in what I'd have to write...."

By questioning your own negative statements like this, you can often see how irrational these negative statements often are....

I read a book about ten years ago called "Feeling Good: the New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns. It's actually about helping people who are depressed, by using something called cognitive therapy (I had some problems with depression at the time). The book is all about dealing with this kind of negative self-talk.... And another good book I also read was "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman.

Applying what I learned from these two books dramatically changed my life and turned it around.... I found I was talking to myself in this negative way, yet I was so used to it that I didn't even realize it....

Once I started paying attention to what I was saying to myself, I was stunned! And once I started to question my own negative statements, I was amazed at how irrational many of them were!

Thanks Becky, that was a wonderful post.... I could really relate to what you said! :)

- Dien

Hi Max,

I liked your response, it got me thinking.... :)

Here's how I interpret the story....

I think one of the main points of the bricklayer story is the importance of goals....

The first two bricklayers didn't really have a goal, they didn't have a planned destination, and this was *symbolized* by their responses.... They were just trudging along doing the same thing every day.

However, the third bricklayer had a goal, in fact he had a lofty one - to build the world's greatest cathedral!

I do believe that those who set out clear goals, are more likely to achieve things than those who don't....

I see it like hopping in your car, turning the ignition, putting your foot on the pedal and driving away. Where are you going?

If you have a goal, a destination, then it's more likely you'll get *somewhere*....

But if you don't have a goal, a destination, most likely you'll go here, then there, then back, then forward, and you won't end up very far.... You'll probably have done some backtracking, some circling around, but in the end you won't have gone a great distance....

But with a destination in mind, it's more likely you'll get *somewhere*....

And that's how I interpret the story.... :)

However, you made some excellent points about the importance of *execution*.... I'll address that in my reply to Linda. :)

- Dien