Coping (and thriving?) with life transition....

Many people are heading towards retirement age, which can be a major life transition....

What are some strategies to help cope with such transitions?

My father is nearing that stage, to be honest I don't think he can see himself retiring.... He was born in 1939, so he's a "pre-boomer"....

I think his plan is to keep working part time as long as he can (which may be an option for him, since he works as a university academic)....

I've gone through my own major transition lately, actually, I'm still going through it, as I decided to effectively leave employment in academia behind and see what else I could do.... I could just see myself being stuck there doing the same things over and over, and didn't really like the idea....

The common theme is the theme of life transition. Whether you are changing careers, or consideering retirement, or even been the victim of "downsizing", it's a major life shift....

Many of our routines we've become used to help to bring meaning to our lives. There are also the social aspects, which become disrupted....

Any thoughts on this topic? I hope you liked this post, now especially it's an important topic for many people....

- Dien

Dien wrote:

> Any thoughts on this topic? I hope you liked
> this post, now especially it's an important
> topic for many people....

Yes, both my partner and I have gone through a very major life transition together, within the past few years. Our stories are extensive enough that I won't try posting them here, but I have published them on my website, a link to which I've provided below.

Once you've read both our stories, I challenge you all to come up with your own life transition stories for the edification of all sowpubbers.

Life is, after all, (I believe) the most complex school of compressed learning one could ever conceive of...

See what you can learn.

-LariAnn Garner




LariAnn of Aroidia

...I'm glad you have decided to share your story with the world (what? the whole world doesn't visit this board?).

I'm sure you struggled with the decision about "coming out" on this board. Coming out (as you well know) is not a one shot deal. It is a continuous process--I'm glad you you have decided to include the online world as well.

Best Wishes,
Becky




Add your two cents here...

Hi Dien,

William Bridges, the author of three books on transition, is considered somewhat of an expert on the subject.

One of them -- "Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes" -- was first published in 1980. The information is timeless.

When I was involved in the training field, I could see firsthand just how difficult change was for most people - especially those who had recently gone through a major life 'shock'.

A psychologist friend suggested that I read Bridge's work.

The book explains how to deal with not only how to "let go" of the past that no longer serves our best interest...but also how to construct a new beginning.

But the biggest help comes with Bridge's suggestions about how to maneuver through the often uncomfortable time of CONFUSION that is in the middle of the END and NEW BEGINNING.

It's a great resource book to keep on the shelf once it's been read. I found that I referred back to it several times over a period of years since I first purchased it. I believe there is a lot of wisdom on those pages.

Now, the reach of his work has expanded from clinical and academic circles to include being used in corporate human resources programs.

Just thought I'd mention Bridges since I believe that any effective help we can get toward understanding how to better adjust to planned and unplanned 'life shifts and shocks' is a good thing! :)

But mostly, knowing that the yuckky time of distress as we try to regain our balance IS normal - and has a purpose.

Knowing that any misery or feeling of limbo will pass once our 'inner work' is done, it makes some difficult times easier to face once this knowledge is truly absorbed.

We have to consciously work through the MIDDLE of our change period though...short cuts may cause a flaw in the groundwork for the NEW BEGINNING.

Some people think that the passing of time is a great healer. For others, I think that just marking time is not the best approach to dealing with transition since it may lead to getting stuck in a hopeless rut.

But rushing to make a plan to avoid a rut may actually stunt the important GROWTH period in the middle of the transition.

I believe that resilient people handle transitions the best. Those who are rigid and compulsive and obsessive seem to experience the most difficulty, IMHO.

~ Amber

Hi LariAnn,

I agree with Becky, it must be hard for you to tell your story to people.... It can't be an easy thing....

Society tends to want everyone to conform, however in reality many people don't conform.... However, cultures do change....

Thanks for sharing....

- Dien

Hi Amber,

Sorry it took me while to respond to your post.... Your post was great!

I went off and tried to find out more about William Bridges' stuff, and it looks really excellent...

I also found his web page (I've linked to it below), where there are some very good articles.... Really mind-opening ones....

Thanks Amber! That was a really great resource.... I'm very grateful, because I don't know very much about this area, but clearly it is a very important one to know about!

- Dien




William Bridges and Associates web site.... Look especially at the articles section.....