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![]() Howdy,
I just met a woman with 13,000 customers. 10,000+ spend 100.00 or more a month. Let me get my calculator. I'll look like a jerk if I add it up wrong. 12 months times 100.00 a mo = 1200.00 smackers 1200 X 10,000 buyers = $12,000,000.00 NICE. So I woke up last night with an idea. A Win-Win idea. Why not use some of the 100's of Testimonials and Case Studies on Barbara's website to write a book? I ASKED PERMISSION and Barbara said, "YES." The Basic Idea in Headline Form Reads Like This: "How to Quickly Write & Sell Books By Borrowing Headlines & Case Study Stories That Already Gross 12 Million Dollars a Year" Book I Title Might Be... "How to Write Testimonials and Case Studies That Sell For-You So You Don't Have To." Why do I Need Your Help? Because I'm too close to this. One or two Chapters may STINK. Others might be fantastic and should be moved to the front of the book. And to be Truthful... I've discovered during Tests that my Opinion of What Readers will LIKE is Always WRONG. Always. The WIN-Win-Win here works like this... Barbara gets a book she can share with 13,000 current customers. If They Give the book away and bring new folks back to her website...Barb and her buyers all Make More munny. You Benefit Because You Get to Watch The Process of Creating and Testing a new book to Guarantee it sells. I Get Feedback. Your Opinion of what You Like and Dislike. And plan to SELL the dang book to my ezine readers. A Triple Win. (EDITORS NOTE - Dien - if you don't like the idea you can DELETE me. But Seth Godin writes his books Chapter by Chapter on his website. Then sells the same DARN book to his ezine list. Sounds Up-side-Down/Backwards to me. So. I - gotta - Try - it.) Sounds too STUPID to work. Doesn't it? Ok. Here we go. =================== =================== INTRODUCTION - How We Helped The Customer Who SleepWalked and Ate Entire Cakes and Pies in his SLEEP... I Swear this is true. I'm not making anything up. IN FACT - I'm sitting here with one hand on a stack of Bibles. Well. Not one hand. One foot. You get the idea. IF you doubt me Go Ahead and Google it. "SleepWalkers Who Eat in their Sleep." This poor Schmuck was on the phone with me week after week. He discussed the Adkins diet, the lettuce diet, the water diet. All sorts of Diet Torture plans. Yet week after week he gained more and more weight! I told Craig, "It's impossible to be eating as little as you claim and still gain weight. You must not be counting all your meals." AHA! Then his wife caught him raiding the refrigerator. He carried all the ingredients for a HUGE Submarine sandwich to the table. Built it. Ate it. But ignored her. Wives do not like to be ignored! Next Day she told him what he'd done. He Didn't remember! Told her she was crazy. Denied the whole Binge Eating episode. So she did some on-line research. Then made a plan. First - She Tied a BELL to their bedroom door after hubby went to sleep. 2nd - She had her iPhone and her video camera ready and loaded in the dining room. 3rd - She took photos and video of Craig eating an Entire Chocolate Cake. Then BUSTED him with her proof. Since he didn't remember -- visits to various Doctors Followed. Long Story Short... NOTHING WORKED. Even hypnosis failed. Well. Correction. ONE THING did work. My research showed that Sleepwalkers Cannot solve complex problems in their sleep. So. Craig went out and bought a long piece of logging chain. Put a complicated Big-Ass Padlock on it. Wrapped it around the Refrigerator and through the door handles. EVENTUALLY the wife got tired of getting up in the wee hours. Craig tended to get noisy/frustrated and Wrassle the Frig around when he couldn't get it open. So she took to feeding Craig large amounts of Vegetables and salads and fruit just before bedtime. THAT seemed to help a lot. Why Am I telling you this? Because You Probably Think Your Weight Situation is Bad. Serious. Dire. Unsolvable. Well. It might not be quite as bad as you think. So here's the plan. I'm going to Share a bunch of Successful Testimonials and Case Studies Here. Many of them are not so good. But they convinced folks to buy anyway. We're going to show you how to do it better. Write better Testimonials. You have two jobs. Job #1 - Laugh your way thru the book as we show and tell you Specific ways to Improve Your Testimonial and Case Study writing in order to make more munny. Job #2 - Check and see whether any of the folks whose Wgt Loss Stories we're sharing are a good "Fit" with you or a loved one. When You Find an idea, strategy, tactic you like... Jump on it like a mother robbin jumps on a june bug. HINT - The underlying weight loss secret shared by all of these Testimonials is a Natural source of Minerals and Nutrition SO Powerful that you don't feel tired after work. Your feet feel restless. You find yourself moving around. Without counting calories or thinking about it you Lose Wgt. Much better than torturing yourself with diets that don't work. I wouldn't be writing this book except for the fact that I haven't caught a cold or gotten a flu bug for 23 years. Due to one mineral that Barb sells. And Yup I'm sort of thin. Probably could lose 5 lbs though. So I already DID my due diligence. ======================= CHAPTER #1 is up next... The Woman Who Slept 14 Hours a day and woke up Tired with a Mysterious Illness - Gained wgt - 24 Serious Symptoms the Doctors Could Not Diagnose. Thanks, Glenn Osborn |
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![]() Quote:
First, I think this idea is BRILLIANT! A book based on testimonials... Many people (including me) love examples. We need the real stories and examples to be able to understand everything right. I think it'd be a great read, too... I love it! - Dien P.S. I'm a bit sick (again) with the flu, which is why I haven't posted much the past few days... |
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![]() Hi Glenn,
LindaC here. Excellent idea. Can't (weight) to learn more about the natural nutrients, minerals, and food items that promote weight loss and good health. Did I miss exercise class? My Best 2 U, LindaC |
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![]() Thanks Dien,
Ok. First... The Testimonial on Barbara's 12 mil lion dol lar website. Lastly... A Re-write. All it takes is a little list writing. Then it's easy to Be Specific. And Focus on one Benefit. =============== =============== CHAPTER #1 - Be Specific-Focus Each Testimonial on 1 Benefit I Dare You To Read This Testimonial and Figure out Even ONE Action to Take. As you read - Please notice there are no specific actions to take. Zero products to ask about. Yuck. (Testimonial has No Title or Headline) Imagine being full of energy. Imagine working full-time, taking evening college classes and aerobics, getting three active children to their various schools and activities and still never lacking the energy to plan or volunteer for parties and community events. Imagine suddenly being unable to do any of these things. This happened to me. From 'supermom' to lifeless, I was attacked by "a mysterious illness." I would sleep for fourteen hours only to wake up still feeling tired. Daily migraines and endless nausea stalked every move. Armed with a list totaling 24 symptoms, I sought a diagnosis from doctors. After running a battery of tests, they were unable to detect a cause for my misery. Luckily, the symptoms eventually subsided. However, I was left ravaged by the effects of the un-named illness. I had gained weight and still lacked the energy that my demanding life required, when a chance encounter buoyed my life in a new direction. Trading stories of lackluster energy, a lady diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) told me about how she had experienced a greater level of flexibility and movement ever since she began consuming Super Blue Green Algae (SBGA) harvested from Oregon's Upper Klamath Lake. Returning home, I sought to incorporate SBGA into my routine. I conducted research on the Internet and discovered Simplexity, just in time to attend the annual company-sponsored gathering of enthusiastic Distributors. Making the trek from my home in Elmira, Oregon to the event in Klamath Falls, Oregon I found herself surrounded by upbeat and energetic people. I met people who'd overcome medical challenges far more serious than mine. They had enhanced their health and were an inspiration to me. Since attending the New Earth August Celebration, I have incorporated SBGA products into my recovery plan. Jumping back into my family life and a four- day-a-week gym routine, I was making headway. At a rapid pace, I have been able to regain the strength and vigor I had prior to my illness and then some. People at my gym are amazed at how quickly I have gotten back into shape and at all the weight I have lost. They want to know my secret. I just smile and share my experience. Cindy Foster Elmira, Oregon ================= ================= Eeeeek! OK. Here is one Way to Rewrite this Testimonial. And add a specific Benefit/problem. ------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------ Step I - Lift a Headline out of the body copy. "I Was Attacked By a Mysterious Illness & Gained Weight" "Hi, "My name is Cindy. I'm a full time mother of 3 kids, have a full time job and Act as "Cab Driver" for all the kids school and sports activities. Plus volunteer for community events and parties. "I Was Attacked By a Mysterious Illness & Gained Weight because I suddenly started sleeping 14 hours a day. And Waking up dead tired. Of my 24 symptoms the terrible migraines and endless nausea were the worst. "Doctors couldn't help. Eventually the worst of my pain went away. But I was still dead tired. And I had gained a lot of weight. Luckily I met a MS patient who had gotten some help from SBGA - Super Blue Green Algae products from Klamath Lake. "I attended their August Celebration. Got advice from people who had had even worse health challenges than me. "At a rapid pace, I have been able to regain the strength and vigor I had prior to my illness and then some. People at my gym are amazed at how quickly I have gotten back into shape and at all the weight I have lost. They want to know my secret. I just smile and share my experience. Cindy Foster Elmira, Oregon ---------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------- ACTION SUMMARY - Just Suppose You are writing your own Testimonial. It helps to make a list. List the problems you had. Then list what problems have gotten better. List how or why you feel better. And Put Yourself in the place of a reader. Ask yourself, "What would readers want to know if they had similar health problems? Just between us... Based on others I've spoken to. And clients with similar health issues. It sounds as if Cindy was poisoned by something toxic in her environment. Or something she ate or drank. I have a friend who used to work as a CameraMan at Football and Baseball games all over the USA. Now he is in constant Pain. His father is very rich. So he's been all over the world. Been examined by the top doctors in many countries. NOTHING Has Helped. Here's something Odd. Bill says he gets 45 minutes without PAIN in both arms After he does a Chi Energy Exercise I got from a World Famous Surgeon. Who, in turn, learned it from his Korean Energy Healing Sensai teacher. If you wanna' Try it yourself. Here's the link: "How to Shoot Chi Energy Heat Out of Your Hands" - 365 day 100% munny Back Guarantee. http://archive.enchantednlp.com/products.php?id=74 --------------------------- --------------------------- CHAPTER #2 - "How My Friend Randy Used Peanut Butter to help his 250 lb Iraqi Attack Dog *Sister* Lose Weight to Better Survive 120 Degree Texas Heat" |
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![]() CHAPTER #2 - "How We Got Randy's 250 Pound War Dog "Sister" to Lose
Weight So She Didn't Suffer So Much in The 120 Degree Texas Heat" Randy was flat on his back in a Veteran's Hospital when we first met. Randy bought a copy of my "How to Fight PAIN and Win" book off E-bay. Then told me he'd get me the munny as soon as he pawned a Kruggerand at a nearby pawn shop. When I found out he was in the Critical Care Unit of the military hospital and just back from his 2nd tour in Iraq. And Wanted to get back to his teenage son and his dog at home... I said, "Forget about it." And sent him his "Pain Relief" book. I also Federal Expressed Randy a couple Bottles of my personal Supply of Super Spinach. And called his cell to walk him through my QUICK Results Directions. Learned the hard way as I coached dozens of my customers to better health. Randy explained that he and his Black Opps group had been sprayed with Agent Orange. In Vietnam Agent Orange was used to strip leaves off trees. In Iraq Agent Orange is mixed with an Excellerant and dropped from airplanes and drones so as to burn enemy tanks from the air. So now he had all kinds of serious Untreatable health problems. But after a couple weeks of popping Acidophilus to cleanse his colon. And eating 10 or 20 Super Blue Green Algae OMEGA a day... Randy climbed out of bed. Got a cab. Went home. And Then Randy told me about his dog "Sister." I asked, "What kind of dog is it?" Randy didn't know. "How Big is Sister?" Randy said, "Well. my head fits in her mouth with room to spare. She was specially trained to rescue soldiers in War." I asked, "How does a Dog "Rescue" a soldier after he's been shot?" Sister is Trained to Run out into GunFire And Rescue Injured men "Sister is trained to run out into gunfire. Drag injured soldiers to safety. Ignore pain. So she still has bullet fragments in her body they couldn't get out." I'm thinking, "Wow. That is not an average dog to have inside your house." Next I asked Randy, "So why do you want Sister to lose weight? Iraq is hot too." Randy explained that in Iraq they went out on patrols. But came back to a very cold air-conditioned compound at night. At Randy's house it was 120 degrees outside. In the 80's inside. Sister had to pant all the time. Was hot. And at 250 pounds needed to lose some weight. I said, "Yikes. Now I understand how Sister could grab a man by the arm or leg and drag him to shelter. She's a monster." Randy laughed. The Mail Woman Wants to Pet Sister but I Can't Tell her She is Trained to Rip The Arms off of Strangers "The lady who brings the mail sees Sister propped up against the front door. Wants to pet her. But she's been trained to take the arm off of a stranger. Only eats raw meat twice a day. Won't take food or orders from anyone but me." "Aha!" I said, "That's why you got her. Nobody but you can control her." Randy agreed. "I was getting on the armored personnel carrier when they told me they'd have to shoot her if I didn't take her with me. So I hitched a ride on a gooney bird transport. The rest of the guys took a passenger jet back. I was incredulous. "What?" I was speechless. "I've heard about those planes. 22 hours or more on a plane. No seats. Not beds. You're strapped to the side of a wall. Incredibly cold. Noisy. Randy held Sister in his lap the whole way. So Randy is asking difficult questions now. "So You got me Energized enough to get out of that hospital. Will it help "Sister"? HOW DO YOU Get Super Spinach Into a 250 Lb Dog Trained to Never Eat Btwn Meals? I;m thinking outloud now - over the phone.... "Well, yeah. If You Get Enough of it into her she won't lie around. She'll trot and run everywhere. I've got customers who suddenly find themselves with restless - "Happy Feet" and start going on walks with the wife or playing with the kids instead of TV." They lose the belly and love handles and don't change anything. Randy and I couldn't think of a way to Get Capsules Of Super Spinach down Sisters Throat without Randy Getting Bitten So. I emailed my "Big Red Nose New Ideas Testing Ezine" List. And Voila! A man in colorado had the answer. So Randy got big jars of Peanut butter. Grabbed a handful out of the jar. And Stuck 10 or 20 Super Spinach Capsules into the peanut gunk. Told Sister, "Open your mouth." Then scraped a huge wad of peanut butter off his hand behind her front teeth. And for the next 30 minutes Sister worked at the peanut butter with her tongue. Little by little she licked it all away. Never realizing that she was swallowing Massive Natural Minerals and vitamins in the process. Randy reported back. "Glenn You will never Believe it. Sister is galloping all over the place. Her big ears flop in the breeze. And her front and hind legs and feet stick out in all directions when she runs. It looks Awesome." And Yes. Sister lost a lot of Weight. One Final note. An odd side effect of mega-boosting Sisters Immune System was... Bullet fragments began to get pushed out of her body. Randy said he kept finding Sister licking a sore bump on her leg or side. And had to give Sister the Command word to "STAY STILL" while he cut each bullet out. Sewed up the skin. ---------------------------------------------- CHAPTER #3 - How to Chop Up a Long Case Study like the WAR DOG Story into Shorter Testimonials. Last edited by Glenn : August 13, 2013 at 10:56 PM. Reason: Cuz I goofed |
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![]() CHAPTER #3 - How to Chop Up a Long WAR DOG Wgt Loss Story
into a Short Weight Loss Testimonial. Ok-dokey. What do we remember most from the WAR DOG Wgt Loss Story in Chapter #2? Let's make a short list: I - Randy is patriotic. 2 tours in Iraq is a lot. II - Randy loves his dog. III - Sister has a HUGE GAPING Maw of a mouth. IV - The Military must have a huge stockpile of Agent Orange lying around. V - There are breeds of dogs out there scarier than we knew about! VI - We Tested Several Different Mother-Nature-Natural Weight Loss Products on People BEFORE We Gave Them to a Dog! Wow! That's a Great Testimonial Headline. =============== =============== How We Tested A Natural Wgt Loss Mineral on A Dozen People Before We Gave it to *Sister* The War Dog My friend Randy came back from Iraq with a problem named "Sister." Sister is a 250 pound War Dog trained to rescue Wounded Soldiers. But Sister Only Took Directions from Randy so he was told, "Take her home or we'll have to shoot her." So Randy has a 250 lb monster Dog living in his house. Eating Raw Steak two times a day. A War Machines used to Frigid air conditioned compounds at night. Sister is not doing well in 120 degree Texas heat. So Plan A is to get her to lose some weight. Her mouth is big enough. Randy says his head fits in there easy. But Sister has been trained to avoid poisons. Won't eat anything outside her food bowl. Based on my previous Experience feeding Super Spinach Minerals to people Who Promptly Feel so much Extra Energy they start walking and exercising... I suggested to Randy that he get Some Super Spinach vitamins into Sister too. How to Slip Nutrition down Sister's Suspicious throat. A problem. I asked some friends how they sneak vitamins down their dog/cat pets throats. One man said, "Peanut butter! So Randy wrapped whole handfuls of peanut butter around 20 capsules of Acidophilus and Super Omega Algae. Stuck fistfuls of Peanut Butter to the roof of Sister's mouth. While she was busy licking it off she swallowed the vitamins. BINGO. Soon instead of lying around panting... Sister is running and playing outside. Night time mostly. Randy didn't want to scare the neighbors cuz a giant 250 Lb War Dog Covered with bullet scars Gamboling around the yard is not a happy sight. Result? Sister's Extra Energy PLAY-TIME Shed the Extra pounds and she is breathing a lot easier. As told by Randy Collins Dallas, TX Last edited by Glenn : August 14, 2013 at 01:37 PM. Reason: forgot to tie headline to body copy |
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![]() CHAPTER #4 - 15 Pound Weight Loss Testimonial
Writing a simple, organized Testimonial is easy IF you do a little planning. "Be Specific" - is good advice. But what does that mean? Write out your testimonial then apply these questions. And go back and fill in the details you missed. Did you cite the time? Fall, summer? Did you mention a location, city, state, country? What about the elapsed time? Did you explain what you did to gain weight? Did you say how you lost the weight? Were specific foods or people involved? How long did it take you to lose 15 lbs? (This example doesn't say) --------------------------- --------------------------- ORIGINAL Testimonial Follows - At the time of my before picture I was working in a resturant and eating anything I wanted. Cream sauce here, dessert there. I was indulging in fatty foods too often and not eating enough fruits and veggies. I moved to a new town and met someone who introduced me to New Earth's Super Blue Green Algae products. I was going to Graduate School and money was tight. Keith worked with me to fit the foundational products into my budget. I began taking Enzymes, Probiotics, Alpha Sun and Omega Sun. I also obtained a job in the school system and began playing the kids during gym for 20-30 minutes a day. Within a short amount of time I lost over 15 pounds. The pounds seemed to just melt away. I noticed that when I'm consistant with my algae products, I crave healthier foods. My skin and hair look and feel better and I have the energy the stay fit. I now use the full line of products and know that I will never return to an unhealthy way of life. Heather Findlay Paradise, CA ==================== ==================== Ok. Let's try a shorter version of the above Testimonial. ----------------------------------- I Suddenly Crave Healthier Foods & Lost 15 Pounds I used to work in a Restaurant. Cream sauce here, dessert there. I was indulging in fatty foods too often and not eating enough fruits and veggies. I met someone and began taking Enzymes, Probiotics, Alpha Sun and Omega Sun. I also obtained a job in the school system and began playing the kids during gym for 20-30 minutes a day. Within a short amount of time I lost over 15 pounds. The pounds seemed to just melt away. I noticed that when I'm consistant with my algae products, I crave healthier foods. My skin and hair look and feel better and I have the energy the stay fit. Heather Findlay Paradise, CA ------------------------ ACTION SUMMARY - A Problem. People read stories. Our brains are wired for stories. But the above Testimonial is not a story. No beginning, middle or end. Nothing to get curious about either. Can we fix it? Nope. We don't have enough data. However... Just Suppose you mix short and long testimonials together? And pop a Case Study in there too. And drop a Fun Story into the mix. Include a Table of Contents at the top so people Know there are stories Up ahead... HUH. We might be describing THIS BOOK. This is exactly what Amazon.com does to get folks to read more stories on their Kindle. They give away the Table of Contents, a short story summary And a Chapter or two of the book. Just enough to hook the reader. I should know. I've been a victim of this tactic often enough. Some writers write a good cliffhanger for the first Chapter or two but tail off afterwards. But the Story Got you to buy the book! ---------------------- CHAPTER #5 - Why Our Our 34 Lb Cat *Flip* Suddenly Started Chasing Chipmunks Up The Brick Walls of The House |
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![]() CHAPTER #5 - Why Our Our 34 Lb Cat *Flip* Suddenly Started Chasing Chipmunks Up The Brick Walls of The House
At our house we are surrounded by farms. There is a dairy down the road. And a butcher in a nearby town. Cats everywhere. As a kid a local farmer showed me how to spray milk directly from a cow into a cats mouth. Comical. The cat's face gets covered in milk. But they love it. So we have a cat. Not just any cat, however. Our Cat Is A Little Bit CRAZY Our cat is a Rapscalian. A card. A real Character. A little bit crazy. We picked him out because of all the cats lounging around the barn. One cat was doing FLIPS off of boards, out of windows. Chasing his tail and anything that moved. But after a few years FLIP got old and fat. We had some cans of condensed milk in the cupboard. So I mixed a few pinches of Omega Super Spinach into a saucer of milk. Didn't pay much attention. Our Bored, FatCat Flip Suddenly Jumped on a Dog But a few days later there was a BIG RUCKUS outside. Flip had jumped off the woodpile onto the back of a 150 pound labrador retriever. The dog had been coming onto our porch to clean up any leftover cat food left in the dish. That dog Howled and yipped and screamed bloody murder with four sets of claws in his hide. Ran like the dickens. FLIP hanging on for dear life. And we never saw that dog again. I thought, "I wonder what suddenly got into that crazy cat." But soon I had other things on my mind. DEAD BODIES Started Showing Up Dead birds and mice started showing up on the porch. And a flying squirrel. FLIP was showing off for us. But the LIVE Chipmunk entertainment was the worst. FLIP suddenly had lots of energy. And when he gets bored things get Crazy. So Flip began to bring perfectly healthy chipmunks onto the porch. It was kinda' cute the way FLIP would bat the chipmunk around like an old sock. But Chipmunks don't enjoy being played with. They jump up and down on their hind legs. Try to bite and squeak. And when I walked too close one of the little rascals ran up my pants leg. ONE GUESS what happened next? You got it. Flip chased his pet chipmunk up my leg. I had claw marks all the way up my body for a week. Here's a little known fact for you: Did you know chipmunks can run up a brick wall? Yes, it's true. But even stranger is this next fact. Our 30 pound NUTSO Cat Flip can run up brick walls too. Someday You'll Need To Know How to Keep Your Cat From Climbing Your Walls Too. So picture this... The cat is chasing his live action toy up the brick wall. I'm trying to knock the chipmunk off the wall. A brother and a parent yelling in the background. Nobody wants chipmunks on the roof, after all. Now. Nobody ever asked me, "Glenn, why are you bored by hockey and baseball and lacrosse?" I have a very good reason. The hockey ball or baseball or lacrosse ball is not Alive. It doesn't move. It was my job to stand with a broom between the latest chipmunk and the house. Grass, sidewalk, concrete porch. It didn't matter. When the chipmunk made a dash for a window or door or tried to run up the brick wall - WHOOSH with the broom. I swept his brown striped little body back between FLIP'S paws. So if your pet doesn't have a hobby I say, "You don't know what you're missing." ================ ================ ACTION SUMMARY - Before and After Result... Ok. There is no Easy way to turn my Weight Loss Story about Flip-the-cat into a short Case Study. However. Let's take a stab at it. And focus on the BEFORE and AFTER effects or results. Before and After are good effects to shoot for when writing a Case Study. Or a Testimonial. Or any story. ----------------------- WHY Our Cat Suddenly Chases Chipmunks Up The Wall Because Flip had gotten old and fat I mixed some of my personal supply of Super Spinach in his condensed milk. Suddenly he was acting like Snoopy the Red Baron. Jumping on big dogs who invaded his porch inner sanctum. Bringing all kinds of varmints home. Dead moles, birds, mice all neatly lined up by the back door. But the Chipmunks were still ALIVE. And that's how I know for a fact that both chipmunks and cats have claws enough to run up a brick wall. They'll run up your pants leg too. But that only happened one time. I was on high alert after that. Why tell you this? So You are Warned not to feed your cat or dog or hamster too much of your supply of Super Spinach Omega minerals. Your sleepy little ball of fur may suddenly behave like Superman or WondorWoman or some Super villain. At least NOW you are Prepared. ---------------------- That came out better than expected. Up Next... CHAPTER #6 - A Good Looking Testimonial That SUCKS Because it Chases People Away. This is a Very Common But Deadly Mistake. Last edited by Glenn : August 14, 2013 at 08:27 PM. Reason: forgot the P.S. |
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![]() CHAPTER #6 - A Good Looking Testimonial That SUCKS Because it Chases
People Away. This is a Very Common But Deadly Mistake. Why Do People HATE this Testimonial on an UnConscious, Emotional Level? Let's count the ways. And what to avoid. I collect 100's and 100's of success stories and case studies and Testimonials a year for my F-r-e-e Ezine archive. And this is the most Common Mistake people make when writing up their Stories. FIRST... The Original Testimonial... ------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------ From a Couch Potato to World-Class Athlete At 36, Jim Pearson was an over weight, beer-guzzling, "good ol' boy" with back problems. He hadn't run since his college days 15 years before but started jogging in the hopes that his back pain would ease up. Jogging became running, and running became racing. He dropped 40 pounds and just kept getting faster and faster. He accomplished his transformation from couch potato to world-class athlete with no professional coach, no big sponsor, no backing, just sheer guts and determination-and help from Super Blue Green Algae, while holding down a 9-t0-5 job, six days a week. Certainly Super Blue Green Algae is an essential ingredient to his success. Jim Pearson Clearwater, FL ---------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------- Ok-dokey. Let's Rip it apart bit by bit. POINT I - I've got to admit to FEELING JEALOUS of ole Jim. And that ain't a good thing. Why? Because people don't listen to or imitate folks they don't like. POINT II - "From a Couch Potato to World-Class Athlete" A question for you. Just how many World Class Athletes are there running around in the world? Answer. NOT MANY. So unless You - Dear Reader - are a fellow World Class Athlete you will SHUT DOWN after reading the headline. Why? Because it doesn't pertain to you. You have no hope of reaching Jim's amazing pinnacle of success. So our goose is cooked Right At the Headline! ONE WAY to deal with this Kind of Headline is to down-play His Amazing Transformation. Perhaps... "From Couch Potato to Athlete" OR "How I Lost Wgt And Started Running Again" ============= ============= POINT III - Jim seems like a good guy. But READ sentence #1 & #2 again. Sounds like a LIE, doesn't it? BECAUSE... ASK YOURSELF. "Would I start jogging when I'm over-weight and my back hurts?" NOPE. NOBODY Else Starts running in hope that jogging is going to FIX UP their Bad Back. Even a doctor will tell you that is LUDICROUS. Silly. So Your Unconscious mental antennae are already smelling something rotten. Even if this is all true. It FEELS Not quite right. At 36, Jim Pearson was an over weight, beer-guzzling, "good ol' boy" with back problems. He hadn't run since his college days 15 years before but started jogging in the hopes that his back pain would ease up. POINT IV - I'm a runner. In fact, in college I joined a running club. And ran 100 miles per week. Why am I bragging about my running Magnificence? Because You Can't Run Anywhere IF you are in pain or OverWeight. WALK - yes. Run - no. So again - this Testimonial is off-key. I doubt Jim wrote it. So a non-runner - non-athlete wrote the whole thing and that is why it doesn't RING TRUE. UNconsciously - other readers besides me - will smell a rat. IF the headline and the first few sentences are LIES. They stop reading. "Jogging became running, and running became racing. He dropped 40 pounds and just kept getting faster and faster. He accomplished his transformation from couch potato to world-class athlete with no professional coach, no big sponsor, no backing, just sheer guts and determination-and help from Super Blue Green Algae, while holding down a 9-t0-5 job, six days a week. Certainly Super Blue Green Algae is an essential ingredient to his success. Jim Pearson Clearwater, FL =============== =============== ACTION SUMMARY - Ok. What do I need to do to re-write the above FALSE Testimonial? No help for it. I'd have to interview Jim. Or somebody close to Jim. A family member or running friend who knew the TRUE Details. I see many many Testimonials like this that are totally unusable. One Last Point. It's Important. A Good Testimonial or Case Study or Story is NOT A Hard Sell Professional Piece of Copywriting. DID You Feel it? Go back and look at it again. Kinda' polished and pushy don't you agree? Off-putting - isn't it? ----------------------------- ----------------------------- CHAPTER #7 - |
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![]() CHAPTER #7 - How an Apartment Manager Memorized 250 Temp
Employee Names with One Handshake Intro Each Here's the Case Study: Please notice that depending on what usage you plan for some Case Studies/Testimonials By changing the Title you can shift the emphasis around. In This Case We're focusing around Wgt Loss using Mother Natures nutrition. ------------------------------- ------------------------------- "I Ate Like a Horse But Still Pulled My Belt In a Notch" Dear Glenn, On my second day at a new job as Apartment Manager my boss handed me a clipboard. Pointed to a huge truck outside. Said, "You're just in time. We bought all new furniture for 400 apartments so I called The ManPower Temp Agency and they're sending a few 100 manual laborers over to help you install it." I never had that good a memory before. But somehow I memorized everybodies name. The Super Sprouts, Spectrabiotic digestive Algae and the Omega mineral algae were like magic. Funny. I didn't realize anything was different. But the big boss showed up during a morning meeting with the men. And I went around the room and reeled off the names like clockwork. Everybody was looking at me. "How did you DO that?" So Thanks for making me look good. I just got a glowing EVAL Report and a Raise. A funny thing. Even though I wasn't used to heavy labor. And was older and heavier than many of the TEMP guys. I was able to keep going until 5pm every day. 7 am to 5pm is a long day. I was both helping unpack. Lift beds and living room and dining furniture off trucks for two weeks. But I was able to keep track of what went where. And Inspite of eating like a horse I pulled my belt in a notch. Very nice. Alan Baer Baltimore, MD ----------------------- ----------------------- ACTION SUMMARY - Ok. As you see the above is a story based Testimonial. It talks about Before and After. Explains several Benefits: A - Better memory B - Looking good to the boss C - Great Evaluation at work and a raise D - More stamina and No-Thinking-Wgt Loss What You Can't see is the way I wrote the Headline for the Testimonial. I read thru it. Then lifted Alan's Words from the end of his story. Stuck it up top. Often when I'm writing something I'll start with a working Title. FIRST DRAFT. Then find a better Headline Buried in the Copy. You should do this too. OK... Up next. CHAPTER #8 - |
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