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  #9  
Old August 14, 2013, 10:14 PM
Glenn Glenn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 860
Default CH #6 - A Great Looking Testimonial Which People HATE Unconsciously

CHAPTER #6 - A Good Looking Testimonial That SUCKS Because it Chases
People Away. This is a Very Common But Deadly Mistake.

Why Do People HATE this Testimonial on an UnConscious,
Emotional Level?

Let's count the ways.

And what to avoid.

I collect 100's and 100's of success stories and case studies and Testimonials
a year for my F-r-e-e Ezine archive.

And this is the most Common Mistake people make when writing
up their Stories.

FIRST...

The Original Testimonial...

------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
From a Couch Potato to World-Class Athlete

At 36, Jim Pearson was an over weight, beer-guzzling, "good ol' boy" with
back problems. He hadn't run since his college days 15 years before but
started jogging in the hopes that his back pain would ease up. Jogging
became running, and running became racing. He dropped 40 pounds and just
kept getting faster and faster.

He accomplished his transformation from couch potato to world-class athlete
with no professional coach, no big sponsor, no backing, just sheer guts and
determination-and help from Super Blue Green Algae, while holding down a
9-t0-5 job, six days a week. Certainly Super Blue Green Algae is an essential
ingredient to his success.

Jim Pearson
Clearwater, FL
----------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------

Ok-dokey.

Let's Rip it apart bit by bit.

POINT I -

I've got to admit to FEELING JEALOUS of ole Jim. And that ain't a good thing.

Why?

Because people don't listen to or imitate folks they don't like.

POINT II -

"From a Couch Potato to World-Class Athlete"

A question for you.

Just how many World Class Athletes are there running around in the world?

Answer.

NOT MANY.

So unless You - Dear Reader - are a fellow World Class Athlete you will
SHUT DOWN after reading the headline.

Why?

Because it doesn't pertain to you.

You have no hope of reaching Jim's amazing pinnacle of success.

So our goose is cooked Right
At the Headline!

ONE WAY to deal with this Kind of Headline
is to down-play His Amazing Transformation.

Perhaps...

"From Couch Potato to Athlete"

OR

"How I Lost Wgt And Started Running Again"

=============
=============

POINT III -

Jim seems like a good guy.

But READ sentence #1 & #2 again.

Sounds like a LIE, doesn't it?

BECAUSE...

ASK YOURSELF. "Would I start jogging when I'm over-weight and my back hurts?"

NOPE.

NOBODY Else Starts running in hope that jogging is going to FIX UP their Bad
Back.

Even a doctor will tell you that is LUDICROUS.

Silly.

So Your Unconscious mental antennae are already smelling
something rotten. Even if this is all true.

It FEELS Not quite right.

At 36, Jim Pearson was an over weight, beer-guzzling, "good ol' boy" with
back problems. He hadn't run since his college days 15 years before but
started jogging in the hopes that his back pain would ease up.

POINT IV -

I'm a runner.

In fact, in college I joined a running club. And ran 100 miles per week.

Why am I bragging about my running Magnificence?

Because
You
Can't
Run
Anywhere
IF you
are in
pain
or
OverWeight.

WALK - yes.

Run - no.

So again - this Testimonial is off-key.

I doubt Jim wrote it.

So a non-runner - non-athlete wrote the whole thing and that is why
it doesn't RING TRUE.

UNconsciously -
other readers besides me -
will smell a rat.

IF the headline and the first few sentences are LIES. They stop reading.

"Jogging became running, and running became racing. He dropped 40 pounds
and just kept getting faster and faster.

He accomplished his transformation from couch potato to world-class athlete
with no professional coach, no big sponsor, no backing, just sheer guts and
determination-and help from Super Blue Green Algae, while holding down a
9-t0-5 job, six days a week. Certainly Super Blue Green Algae is an essential
ingredient to his success.

Jim Pearson
Clearwater, FL

===============
===============
ACTION SUMMARY -

Ok.

What do I need to do to re-write the above FALSE Testimonial?

No help for it.

I'd have to interview Jim.

Or somebody close to Jim. A family member or running friend who knew
the TRUE Details.

I see many many Testimonials like this that are
totally unusable.

One Last Point.

It's Important.

A Good Testimonial or Case Study or Story is NOT A Hard Sell Professional
Piece of Copywriting.

DID You Feel it?

Go back and look at it again.

Kinda' polished and pushy don't you agree?

Off-putting - isn't it?

-----------------------------
-----------------------------
CHAPTER #7 -
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