Introducing.................

JJS -

> I think I could learn a lot about raising
> sons from you and your wife. I *know* how to
> mother girls, I suppose thats why God
> decided to bless me with a son this time!

Thanks for the nice compliment. I suppose that we do what a lot people today won't do. We expect certain things of them and when they don't meet the expectations, there are consequences. When they meet or exceed the expectations, there are also consequences, (which they usually enjoy *much* more *g*).

Simple example. My 3rd son Christopher, who's a good kid, is a freshman in high school this year. He's always been an achiever at school getting into gifted classes, etc. But for some reason this year he has decided that grades are no longer important, that he doesn't care, and that everyone else, (other than himself), is responsible. So, when the grades continued to go down, we took away every privilege imaginable. As they slowly came back up, (we get a weekly report card from the school), he slowly earns privileges back. When he blew it again, he lost all the privileges again. Problem is, I'm not sure he thinks we're serious. We've already told him that if the grades aren't at a certain level by the end of the school year, he'll be waiting until after the first report card next fall to get his learner's permit.

So. The point is there are multiple lessons here.

1. Grades *are* important if for no other reason than to get to drive. (We all know there are many more reasons, of course.)

2. More importantly, he is in control of his own destiny. IOW, he is largely responsible for when he'll start learning to drive. And this is the lesson I want him to learn more than the reward value of the grades.

Rick Smith, "The Net Guerrilla"




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