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CH #14 - How Paul Used GRIEF to Break Insurance Sales Records
I have Decided to STOP reading all the AARP Magazines and Newspapers
the Insurance Companies who OWN AARP are sending me.
NOW THEY GO INTO THE TRASH - Unread.
Because they are writing to those of us over age 60 LIKE we Are Brainless
But before I stopped Reading AARP.
I discovered this headline -
"In 2018 50% of all Cell Phone Calls Are S*ALES CALLS."
Which makes me feel EVEN BETTER
About my Decision to NOT TURN the other Cheek.
Practice BIG RED NOSE CLUB Level SALESMANSHIP on these RUDE Folks.
CHAPTER #14 -
How I Chased 2 “Church People”
Away from My Door Who Wanted
to Talk About Dealing with GRIEF.
Most Telemarketers are Rude.
They COLD CALL you on the phone and START their Pitch.
“Church Types” too.
All of them Cold-Call at your Door - and Launch into their Canned Pitch.
They Waste your time.
They Interrupt you.
They Keep you outside talking in the Cold.
They CANNOT TOLERATE BIG RED NOSE S*ales Stories..
So You Have MY PERMISSION to Use The Following TRUE STORIES
to Chase these RUDE FOLKS away from Your Door Too.
I see 2 Guys get out of a car - SMACK Dab in my Driveway. Walk up to my Door carrying a Bible and a Pamphlet.
I think, “AHA! Here we go again.”
LITERALLY DOZENS and DOZENS of such Visits By These Folks And I KNOW They Have ZERO Sense of Humor.
PLUS they all follow a SCRIPT. My goal is to Distract them from giving me their Scripted Presentation. Which is SO BAD it’s Painful to Hear.
Our Conversation Goes Like this:
ME - “Hi There. Before You Get Started I’d like to Give Each one of you a LOTTO Ticket.”
JOE - “Oh, we don’t gamble.”
ME - “Oh, I don’t either. This is a Sure Thing. I give these to Waitresses and Cooks in order to GET MORE FOOD.
JOE Blinks and Shakes it off - “Hello my Name is Joe and this is Joe Jr.
ME - “Wow. You guys are doing the same thing as that Boxing guy. Oh yeah. George Foreman. He named his 3 Sons GEORGE too. So when you yell, “Hey George.” FOUR People Answer. I think he got hit in the head too many times.
JOE Forges Ahead - “I’m here to talk to you About GRIEF. How Do YOU Deal With GRIEF, Sir?
ME - “Well, we all deal with Grief differently. I have a Retired CIA, Black Opps Customer who deals with his Wife's Death by Helping Local Churches. He helps local Ministers, Priests and Rabbi’s deal with CHILD ABUSE in their church Congregation.
“When all Else Fails and kids show up in Church all beat up - The Priest calls up my friend. He uses his Black Opps Skills to Sneak into their house. Tie them to the bed. Hang them from a door. And Explain if they keep beating their kid - when he comes Back they will NOT Survive his visit!
JOE is Persistent - “Very interesting Sir. Well, in this Pamphlet about Grief you can See a Verse from the Bible….
ME - “I’m A Marketing Consultant. I’ve got another friend who deals with GRIEF in a Different way. He lives in Oklahoma. He goes thru all the newspapers to find people who DIED Young. In their 30’s or 40’s.
“Writes down all the Surviving Pall Bearers and family in the Newspaper Death Notice. THEN CALLS THEM UP to say while they are in SHOCK from Grief, “You never know when it’s Time for YOU to Go - even at a young Age. You Gotta Plan ahead. I’ve got this Death Insurance…”
“Ted set a Insurance SALES RECORD for the entire Company!
JOE Seems a bit Rattled. Shuffles his feet a bit - “Ok, Sir. Let me Read You This Bible Verse.” And he does.
ME Talking to Joe Jr - “Some people deal with Grief by going to a Party.”
JOE Interrupts. “That’s true. Now after a Funeral instead of a Wake many Church people now get together for a CELEBRATION of the loved ones life.
ME - “Thanks for Reminding me about the Party aspect of Grief. Joe Jr - You Should LOOK this up when you get home. Gene Simmons of the Rock Group Kiss Has a KISS COFFIN Store in Texas.
“Each KISS Coffin has a Beer Tap. So the coffin fits right into the party. Oh and the Coffin has a Built in Music and Entertainment System. Hit a button And You Have Music at your Death Celebration.
JOE SENIOR is Agog - “Really? What do people Do with a coffin they buy Before they die?
ME - “Oh, they use the Coffins as a Coffee Table in their homes.”
ME - “Joe Jr - You Should Look it up. Gene is a Genius at making Munny. His Coffins sell for 25 THOUSAND Dollars and up.
ME - “What you are doing is Great Dr to Dr Sales Experience - Joe Jr. I have some MORE Stories about Dr to Dr S*ales.
JOE SENIOR is Now Backing Away - Back out my side walk. Out towards the driveway. Edging towards his car. “Thanks for your Time Sir. We Gotta get going.”
Heh Heh Heh
P.S. - ACTION SUMMARY -
Oh. Did I mention that I Shook hands. Got Their Names. Got RAPPORT FIRST before I started Swapping "RUDE Stories"?
Within Rapport you can Do and Say almost Anything.
AND Because We Had An UNSPOKEN AGREEMENT that we could BE RUDE TO EACH OTHER.
JOE - Was RUDE to ME by Forcing me to Listen to HIS Church Version of Religion.
ME - IN TURN - I Was RUDE to Joe - by Pretending to offer them LOTTO tickets as a Thank you for their Unwanted Visit.
JOE - Then FORCED me to look at his CHURCH Flyer.
ME - I Compared their SAME NAMES to GEORGE FOREMAN and his sons.
George - George - George and George.
JOE - Joe Forced me to Listen to him Talk About the article about GRIEF in his flyer.
ME - I told Joe that I’d seen dozens of these same Church Flyers and they Were BORING. Suggested the Church Find Better Flyers.
ME - I was very Impressed. Joe is a Rock. He kept going despite my BLATANT
ATTEMPTS to TELL HIM - with Goofy Grief Stories - that I DON’T WANT YOU HERE.
ME - However. I finally found Joe’s WEAK Spot. When I started Talking to His Brother - Joe Jr. Trying to Show him how he could make munny with the Dr to Dr Skills he was learning from Door knocking for his Church.
THAT got Joe Senior - to Leave - Finally.
P.P.S. - NEXT Visit by these Church BOZO’s - I’m going to Use 426 M*illion Mentor - Walter Hailey’s INVISIBLE PERSUASION S*ales Script to SELL them something.
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