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Old August 13, 2022, 06:09 AM
Dien Rice Dien Rice is offline
Onwards and upwards!
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,168
Default Some have confidence bass-ackwards...

Hi Gordon,

Thanks for sharing your "Hit the ball" story...

It reminded me... some teach that confidence comes from action...

The idea is - take ACTION first... (Like hitting the ball!)

Confidence then results from that...

Not the other way around...

Good food for thought!

Here's an article I found along those lines...

As a Psychotherapist, This Is the Biggest Mistake I See People Make When It Comes to Self-Confidence

Awesome story, Gordon, full of a lot of wisdom!

Best wishes,


Originally Posted by GordonJ View Post
I took the spaces out of your post, so I can see it all and not have to scroll, just FYI.

Let me start with an old mantra you've seen since day one here:

And like much of my work, maybe it will have more meaning now.

Doubt is a shadow of our fear.
Confidence is a reflection of our experience.
ACTION is the revelation of our faith.

I call it the TRIAD.

One thing about Stored Value, it can easily be mirrored in PURCHASES. Or as I prefer, transactions. One can find market value in the transactions already being made.

I'll come back to this in a minute.

The TRIAD. There are no shadows on a cloudy day. So, an appreciation of the sunshine, seen in our positive mindset, as a good place to go.
Once we do something, we gain confidence in our ability to do so, like riding a bike. Or going to West Africa to sell things.

I taught golf in an unusual way, my first lesson was HIT THE BALL...and here is an amazing thing, kids, will keep swinging and swinging until they do...adults don't like it, some even quit or yelled at me for not doing what other golf teachers do; tell them how to stand, hold the club, and how to swing it.

I said, HIT THE BALL. Kids did it, got positive feedback, do it again only not so fast and only try to hit the ball a few feet...and they could do it, and within minutes, NOT having any idea of how to hold, stand, or swing, little kids were knocking the ball, foot by foot, down the fairway.

Adults, who brought their doubt, insecurities, embarassments with them, had a hard time with this. But once I gave them TINY goals, like just try to hit the ball 5 yards, toward a ball I had thrown down range...they could do it. Then 10 yards, 15, etc. Each added distance meant they had to take the club back further and further, and once they hit the ball consistently, THEN, I introduced the stance and grip and all that.

So ACTION was my first lesson, not instruction or HOW TO. Hit the ball. And I actually had a student who absolutely refused to do it, and she created a stink and her powerful and influential husband had a chat with me...and the result was, she got free lessons...from my young PGA pro, but I told him in no uncertain terms, I would NEVER work with his wife again, although he thought he could MAKE ME. NOPE.

I tell you this true story, because, we clearly see this woman came with doubt, whereas little kids come with ENTHUSIASM, and they start with action, which gets corrected by what happens to the ball...instant feedback...they see the results of their actions.

So the country club woman, used to getting what she wanted by barking orders at her "servants", came with hideous clouds over her head, the kind used in Apocalyptic films, and the kid came with sunshine in his heart.

The confidence the kid got from hitting the ball was reinforced instantly, and with positive reinforcement. It came from his EXPERIENCE of hitting the ball.

Last edited by Dien Rice : August 13, 2022 at 06:24 AM.
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