Nostradamus "Prophecy" Is a Fake...

[*]I knew that would happen.
[*]I'm gonna die one day
[*]The sun will shine
[*]Someone will be assassinated
[*]Death, tragic. Life. JFK [some kind of death related in any way shape or form with JFK airport?][/i]
[*]A man will come. Many will think he speaks the truth. Lies. Deception. Many taken up. The Zebra overcomes [anyone care to decipher this?]
[*]A house will collapse
[*]Fire
[*]In 2002 the ground will shake. Candles in the wind. Darkness. Cold. Oh, it's just the snow plough going by during a blackout in winter. Oops, not vague enough

And my all time favorite...
[*]When all the leaves are brown. And the sky is grey. Someone will walk. On a winter's day.


How to write a prophecy

Step 1: Realise that whatever you can imagine is possible - you wouldn't be able to imagine it if it wasn't possible. And realise also, that this thing you imagine, while not yet here or happening, will happen some time in the future. And also realise, history repeats itself.

Step 2: Write about it in such a way no-one can pin point exactly what you are saying. Then when it happens, claim the event is what you meant. Or write about some historical event in a very vague way so you cannot be pinned down and claim it's what you meant when it happens.

Step 3: Make sure you use short sentences and generic words.

Step 4: Make sure you use words that have mutiple meanings - literal and figurative.

Step 5: Mix letters up. Throw in words from other languages. Mention whole continents indirectly. Mention points of the compass.

Step 6: Never write them in plain ordinary English with clear and precise dates - never write so they can be clearly understood.

E.g. Never say, "a boat named Rider's Challenge will lose its steering and crash into the docks killing five people and it will happen on the 2nd of February 2002".

Instead, say something like,

"The ride is lost. Death. Five is the number and two."

This could mean five die, or two die - five could also be the sound of the five bells tolling. Five and two could also be dates 05/02 or 52 or 25 or 02/05 or 7 or 02/###5 or 05/###2 or numbers on something or co-ordinates of any combination with those numbers. Ride could mean anything like a name - back or forward - or be taken as in to ride something, thus making it apply to a theme park or any joy ride anywhere. And what the hell is meant by lost? That's for you to make fit. And death could also be figurative or literal.

Writing like the above - using general terms without precise details - will enable you to be right 100% of the time, as time time in the future.

Step 7: Cloak your writing in mystery. To aid in this, grow a beard, say mystical things, act as if you're in a trance, and create a group of followers (made up by yourself using false names or otherwise), change your name or use an alliase, give yourself a title, create groups and associations and have them bestow things on you.

Try it, it's fun and real easy to do.

Dr Michael Ross
Pychic. Alchemist. Scholar of the Royal House of St Jumbali. Appointee of the Court of Civil Councils. Entrusted Keeper of the scrolls of Molex. Reverend of the Priory of South Portia. And Author of "How To Write A Prophecy For Fun And Profit"