"Soft as a baby's a... and fit you like a glove"...

..even a golf glove!

That's what the man said about his 'Leather ' jackets - an Italian man.

Gordon, just reading your post lower down reminded me of an Italian and his two amigos who are obviously graduates of the same school as your golf glove salesman...they have been operating a scam throughout Ireland for the last couple of years.

I first met him about two years ago. I was driving home one evening and saw this guy standing beside his car on the side of the road and frantically waving his arms.

He looked like one of the Mario brothers...I assumed he had car trouble and pulled over to see if I could help.

"I no spik dee Eeengleesh" he started.

But he did speak enough to tell me that he was just coming from a Trade Show, selling Gucci leather jackets...due to a mix up he had lost his plane ticket and his flight to Italy was in two hours...the only way he could get another ticket was to sell the three Gucci leather jackets he had in the car...they cost £240 each at the show but he would let me have the three of them for £300 because he was 'desperate'.

I could smell it a mile off, but he persisted...took out the jackets...beautifully packaged ( Taiwan's best )...told me his wife and kids would be waiting at the airport...

I knocked him down to £150 for the three..I knew I would be able to turn them over in the pub...but then I realized that I had no cash on me...no problem..he asked had I an ATM Cashcard...ok he would follow me to the nearest machine...and he did...about two miles.

It was not his lucky day...the machine was out of cash...there was nothing I could do!

He was devastated...to be so close..to have done all the hard work and then to be denied...cruel.

I knew how he felt...it is terrible to lose a sale through 'external' circumstances...I once spent three weeks 'selling' a car to a guy...I stalked him...I intimidated him...I hypnotized him...I filled him with Guinness until he was legless...and he cracked...he said YES...but I lost the sale - because his wife didn't like the COLOUR! Women!
( Hymm, there's another marketing lesson...who was the REAL customer for the car? )

Anyway Super Mario fairly burned rubber as he sped off in disgust...never to see me again.

But he did see me again, although I saw him first.

A year later I was selling my Christmas trees and I saw the car pulling in.

I turned to my salesman and said I bet this guy's first words will be..

Super Mario jumps out..."I no spik dee Eeengleesh" - I won my bet.

I played along...

Same story...Trade Show...airport..tickets...jackets...and a new angle...his wife was now Pregnant...nice touch.

I said I'd find out his bottom line...I drained him with Irish haggling tactics ang got him down to £75 for the three jackets ( how much did they cost him? - £5 - £10? ).

Anyway my salesman bought them...even though I warned him...I wouldn't fancy them in the rain...But what the heck...Super Mario deserved a sale...he had worked hard for it.

So, Gordon if you see a little Italian guy standing at the crossroads of the universe, waving his arms, do yourself a favour...KEEP GOING!

Jim