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Old October 18, 2001, 02:27 PM
Mel. White
 
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Default Re: What do you think of this?

I think I'd rewrite it with a "you-based/you-benefit" angle.

As an ad, it's so-so... as an article (speaking as an editor), it wouldn't grab my attention. First sentences would say "oh. Ad disguised as news article." and I'd heave it to the trashcan.

As Gentle Reader, it triggers my "suspicion factor." Advanced technologies are mentioned, but it's never said what these technologies are or how they work. There's no documentation on which Royal Palace it protects (that of a very minor Saudi Arabian prince?) There's no mention of which insurance companies lower rates if you install it. And I'd wonder if these are the same seven or eight tips that your local Crimestoppers (police division) gives out.

And what in the heck is a "dummy CCTV" and why would I want one?

Anyway, that's the Skeptical Reader's take. You need the reactions of other people as well!
 


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