I couldn't resist another comment :)

Hi Everyone!

I have been ill for the last six days or so, and I have really missed the discussions. As always, thought provoking discussion abounds!

Here are some thoughts I have put together from this discussion:

Overlying theme, from Gordon:

1) Know your wanted experiences. 2) Take Action. 3) Learn what doesn't work, or does, and continue. 4) Adjust and more action.
There you go. Two great minds, one simple idea...
DO WHAT WORKS.
Gordon Alexander

Sandy said:

My point is ...don't you think some people have to hit rock bottom before they wake up from their hypnotic state?

*****Sandy, I could relate to this, because I often refer
to my "Pre-Death Threat phase" (long story, see my website
if you don't know what I am talking about!) As being in a
"coma"......working as a Government Bureaucrat, doing
important work, true, but within an agency that squelched my
spirit.

I remember clearly the day the job offer came in.....I had
interviewed the day before, arriving a couple minutes late, asking
tough questions, not caring whether I got the job because I did not
want it.

They called me and offerred me the job. I called my husband and heard
the relief in his voice that I got the job. See, if I got the government job
with the awesome benefits, then he could quit his job and start his own
practice and all would be fine and dandy. I cried when I said, "They offered
me the job." He did not hear the tears, I suppose.

I chose to be a dutiful wife, a provider for my kids and off to work I went
by choice every day for nearly five years and literally slipped into a coma.
Underneath it all was the same Julie you see today, but in my daily choices
I fell deeper and deeper and deeper.

Looking at my Life Pictogrigm that I worked on today, I realize that the Death Threats
are not part of the "random" 5-10% some people might see them as. Instead, they were
necessary to my future! After all, I could have gone BACK to that place of
existence after my Death Threats and fallen back into that old pattern, but I chose
to break the pattern. At the top left hand corner of the pictogrigm it says "PREMISE:
Our results come from our behaviours." When I first copied it, I wrote "PROMISE"
instead of PREMISE....fitting, eh?

GORDON wrote:
It has been my experience that most people have NO IDEA what they need to do. Why? Because they don't know what they want.
If they have a goal, a purpose, a passion or a want, if they have a well defined plan, they overcome all that other stuff.

****Another obstacle for many is Fear. So the choice that comes into play is one going to run from fear, or allow fear to be the fuel to reach higher places?
Last night I was teaching a class, and one of the participants asked, "How did you do it? How did you take the leap from employee to entrepreneur?"
In one respect, she was asking, "How can it be less scary for me? How can this be a paint by number experience so I can ensure I will not be a complete failure?"
A friend asked me a couple weeks ago, when I was completely derailed by Katherine (my 8 year old) being placed in a classroom I did not want for her, meaning I would need to negotiate the
Public School bureaucracy) "What would you do if you had no fear?"
So my magic wand for people is frequently that question.
Ask yourself that question---->take action---->learn what works--->adjust and take action again! Sound familiar!? Its cause it WORKS!
Gordon Continued:
I don't accept the premise of the victim. I believe we spent most of the 90's in that idea.
*****Another example I use with people....magic word combination. Its best in person, cause I talk so much with my hands. I tell people this:
"You have a choice....you can be a VICTIM(open one hand) or you can be a VICTOR(open the other). Anytime, Anyplace. You have the choice.

Gordon Continues, Singing from the same Songbook:
At the moment of AWARENESS, there is CHOICE.
You can choose to stay anchored in the past, in the trauma, you can choose to allow it to have a powerful influence on your life, or you can choose to replace it with new habits, new thoughts and a new future that is INDEPENDENT of past events.

Dien adds to the discussion:

On the other hand, I also understand I think what Gordon is trying to say, which is about the idea of victimhood....
I think if you see yourself as a victim, it can help you to stay in your circumstances. A victim is someone who seems the cause of their trouble being *outside* of themselves.
Having a victim-type mentality means that you won't work on improving your own situation by working on yourself, because you see the problem outside of yourself.
****And ironically, folks looking from the Victim mentality tend to see everything revolving around them, even though they are responsible for nothing.
Those with a victim mentality tends to expect everything yet choose to give nothing in return.
The joy comes from the transforming of one's life from VICTIM to VICTOR. When the decision is made, the choice is clear, that being a victim serves no one, least of all either oneself or ones family.

Finally, Amber joins in....

> Isn't the idea of 'choice' a tremendously
> powerful thing? I really like that word -
> choice.

****Amber and all, I use this word ALL the time with my children as well as my clients. I was speaking with Bianca yesterday, who at 19 really needs to be working (she is only taking 11 units and spends far too much time lying on the couch watching M-TV). I told her about a job opening, and she said, "I will have Julio take me" (her boyfriend).

I said, "No, sweetie. I will take you, he is 19 and has never worked. He obviously does not place high value in earning an income and all the lessons learned from having a part time job"

Her response: "Well, he is taking 19 units."

My response: "Because he CHOSE to not work hard in his classes LAST year, because he CHOSE to not take any summer school classes, and instead sit around all summer, because he CHOSE to do other things in the past, so now he will be a college sophomore with no pocket money except for what his parents CHOOSE to give him. It is ALLLLLL CHOICES."

Katherine, (age 8) even has a standard "CHOICE" inspirational message she gives to her friends when the shoe fits....what is that saying? The apple does not fall far from the tree?

> Love it as a matter of fact...if it is ok to
> love a word. :)

> After all, it's not about what happens TO
> you, but what you decide to do about it
> (involving choice) that makes it more
> possible to successfully overcome adversity.

AMEN! And we circled back nicely to being VICTORIOUS! And Amber, "love" is not only acceptable, it is graciously received...at least by me!

Great conversation Everyone!

With Purpose and Passion,

JULIE




5passions