Text Marketing Machine - Flyer Critique

[waynerhoton]

I’m getting ready to do a mailing to 1,000 restaurants & businesses in my town and I need to make sure I have everything ready. So please critique my flyer. I’m really trying to think of a better headline. So please help. http://textmarketingmachine.homestead.com/flyer.html

Thank You,
Jason Hatchett

I definitely would not say this.. "Then it won’t be so hard to start paying me for my services."

This automatically makes me want to throw this flier away and only skim the rest looking for a price because I automatically think this is going to be very expensive.

Again "If you do like it and want to continue, I’ll show you my
prices"

Again, you have me thinking prices must be high if you dont wanna show me prices until I have tested it.

Even though you say its affordable, you have already conditioned me personally to think its expensive. (I still might try it if I were reading it just because its free for 30 days) But either way No reason to put negative thoughts in my mind in my opinion.


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This line was very good got me thinking wow! "97% of Text Messages Are Read Within 30
Seconds."

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And one more thing isnt there a charge for people to text those 5 digit numbers? If so dont you have to tell people before they send the text?