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Old June 9, 2021, 10:05 AM
Dien Rice Dien Rice is offline
Onwards and upwards!
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,841
Default Authentic compliments can open doors...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenn View Post
Thanks Gordon,

Tattoo Testimonial -

LOCATION -

Gas Station.

Girl has back to me. Has two Huge Tattoos on her back.

ONE looks like Cher.

So I Yell out - "EXCUSE ME!"

When She turns I said, "I Like Your CHER Tattoo!"

She looked Puzzled.

Then SMILES BIG.

Then said, "Thank you but that Tattoo is of "Mother Nature."

And she talked and Talked.

I listened.
Hi Glenn,

Great example of complimenting someone's tattoo!

This triggered a memory...

To cut to the chase, many, many years ago - we're probably getting close to 30 years ago now - I read a book called "Intimate Connections" by David D. Burns.

David Burns is actually a psychiatrist, and he also wrote a much better known book about cognitive therapy for helping people with depression. That book is called "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy"...

But he also wrote this other book, which is less well known, called "Intimate Connections," which is about how to ask someone out on a date and have the beginnings of a good relationship.

I read this book a long time ago, but the main thing I remember from that book is the following...

One thing he advises you to do is to compliment people - honestly and authentically.

That is - find something you can honestly compliment about them...

Of course, when I saw your tattoo compliment, I thought - wow, that's an example!

Anyway, after I read that book 30-odd years ago, I started practicing it on my friends, male and female... I was still in university at the time. So I would just compliment them just for practice, only about things I could honestly compliment...

(I'm a very bad liar, so if I lied about the compliment, I feel people would be able to sense it! So I had to be able to find "real" compliments to be able to do it...)

I think if you look hard enough, you can find something to compliment in almost anybody...

For example, I might compliment one person on their sharp dress sense. I could compliment another on their quick wit, and another on their creative ideas. I could compliment another person on their kind-hearted nature, and another for their self-discipline...

Anyway, I practiced it, and it became second nature to me...

So nowadays, I find no problem if I want to find something I can honestly compliment about somebody. I think this ability has definitely opened doors...!

That leads to another thing I wanted to mention, which is a video I just saw a couple of days ago... I'll link to the video below, which is by a woman who works for a dating website.

She said she was in the park and a man came up to her and stayed eight feet away - so he gave her enough personal space. (Maybe that's even more important nowadays, in the "social distancing" era!)

She felt comfortable and non-threatened...

And he complimented her on something particular about her "energy" - rather than complimenting her on her clothing or her body...

...And she felt very comfortable about it!

(Meaning - it worked!)

I thought, wow...

This, again, reminds me of you, Glenn, because of course, I know part of your work is focused on people's energy and auras...

This is one type of compliment I've never actually done or even thought about - complimenting someone on their "energy" or their "aura"...

I just thought I'd throw that in there as another example of how one can use this...

This is powerful stuff. Very, very powerful stuff.

Thanks for sharing. I really, really value it... I don't think everyone realizes the value in it, but I see the value, and it's extremely valuable. Thanks!

Here's the link to the video I promised...

Dating expert shares the best pick-up line she's ever heard from a stranger
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-...-pick-24260351

Best wishes!

Dien
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Last edited by Dien Rice : June 9, 2021 at 10:36 AM.
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