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Old July 25, 2009, 05:31 AM
Ankesh's Avatar
Ankesh Ankesh is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mumbai, India
Posts: 692
Default Re: How To Be Charismatic?

Thanks All.

I have a friend. We recently went to a tech / blogging event. During one of the presentations - we went outside of the auditorium. And my friend started sharing his stories. Next thing you know - the auditorium was empty and a 100 people were outside listening to my friend talk.

The next talk in the auditorium got cancelled when folks asked my friend to go in and continue his impromptu talk.

That is where this thought came into my mind: I would love to be as charismatic as him!

I'm not sure how charisma can be hacked as of yet. But here are a few ideas:

1.You need to have your presence felt. My friend is very tall and bulky for an Indian. Indians are short people (where 6 feet is considered a giant). My friend is 6 feet 4 inches or something. Very commanding presence. At least in India.

(Research does show that CEOs are taller than the average public.)

If you lack bodily command - you need to create your own command. Seth Godin went bald to achieve commanding presence. Lorrie Morgan Ferrero wears a cowboy hat.

(Dominance)

2. You need to be a super speaker. My friend is an excellent funny speaker. Speaking skills can be cultivated. You may not become as good as Obama or Tony Robbins - but you can at least become as good as the top 5-10% of all people.

(Superb communication and/or oratorical skills.)

3. Practise is key. Many people think that my friends talks are impormptu. But I know that he thinks about what exactly to talk about and in what order... he creates entire scenes in his mind. And works on stories days before he tells them out loud.

His talks have a sort of rhythm. Very orderly even though you may not notice it conciously. Rhythm can be learned. One awesome source to learn how to give rhythmic presentations is
Thats a Wrap: Utilize Music to truly bring your presentation to life.
https://www.wizardacademypress.com/s...?idproduct=141

(Unusual calmness. Assertiveness. Rhythm.)

4. I recall reading a psychology research paper done on school going kids. The research was done to find out what made "cool kids" cool?

The researchers found that there are quite a few kids who are liked by all. No one has anything bad to say about these kids. But yet - they never become the cool kids - never become the centre of attraction.

The kids that become the cool kids have only 1 thing that differentiates them from these other kids who are liked by all: and that is they build up barriers.

The cool kids don't allow everyone in their circle. They choose and select.

As the saying goes: if you take everyones side, you end up taking no ones side.

Polarization is a very important concept in building charisma.

(Exclusivity.)

5. I read recently that magician Steve Cohen (whose book "Win the Crowd: Unlock the Secrets of Influence, Charisma and Showmanship" is on my wishlist) hands out his bio to all the members of the audience before all his acts - big or small. These bio-sheets tells folks that Steve has privately entertained numerous corporate titans and TV personalities.

"If these rich successful folks pay good money to watch Steve - he must be good - no?"

(Reputation. Creating anticipation.)

6. I'm sure there are a few NLP tricks like mirroring and stuff too that goes into building charisma.

As Dien says - people will love you if you show an interest in them and genuinely praise them. Mirroring is one more way of connecting with the folks.

I'm sure tone, pitch, hand actions and a 101 other subtle nuisances make a big difference in building up charisma too.

(Connecting with the audience.)
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