How To Be Charismatic?

This example from a class I attended may get some debate going.

First, it was a human sexuality class, near the end of the semester. The professor asked us to vote on the sexiest man and sexiest woman in the class.
The man who 'won' was fat, bald, and had a personality that sparkled with humor, cheer, and good will...an all-around nice guy. He was voted 'most charismatic'.

Sandi Bowman

Originally Posted by Sandi Bowman

This example from a class I attended may get some debate going.

First, it was a human sexuality class, near the end of the semester. The professor asked us to vote on the sexiest man and sexiest woman in the class.
The man who 'won' was fat, bald, and had a personality that sparkled with humor, cheer, and good will...an all-around nice guy. He was voted 'most charismatic'.

Sandi Bowman

I'm afraid to ask -- how would you describe the woman that won?

This is a big topic, I think. At the risk of starting a firestorm, there's a big difference between charismatic + sexy. Often they are mutually exclusive. For white american men -- in our CURRENT culture (things change every so often -- but it's a SLOW process) -- a woman's body shape has a lot to do with who is 'sexy' and who is not (read: size 2 or so).

Women's views about women's weight + body shape are VERY different from MEN'S views about women's weight + body shape.

If Julia Roberts had weighed 15 more pounds (or even just 10 lbs more), she could never have ('legitimately') starred in a movie called "Pretty Woman" (unless it was supposed to be satire).

It's like the OJ verdict -- each side does not, and cannot, understand where the other side is 'coming from.' It's best left as an unspoken, taboo topic.

It's ok to make a movie titled, "What women want." However, you do NOT want to see a movie titled, "What men want." Trust me.

But, if you're asking about charisma, that's a whole different thing.

-- TW

Paraphrased from the Wikipedia site, charismatic individuals generally project:

• Unusual calmness.
• Confidence.
• Assertiveness.
• Dominance.
• Focus.
• Superb communication and/or oratorical skills.
• Authenticity.

Calmness comes from within, and I think it would take a huge effort to develop a calm attitude if one wasn't naturally that way.

Confidence comes from experience or practice, so one could work in that direction.

Assertiveness, dominance, and focus go hand in hand. You either are or you're not, although it's possible to learn the moves and then practice until you gain confidence and the calmness that goes with the package.

Focus comes from conciously applying all the above traits.

Communication is the result of all the above, as one can't be charismatic by himself.

I purposely left authenticity for last in my list. It has been my experience that charismatic individuals only give the appearance of authenticity, and are usually far from authentic. TV preachers come to mind, along with many politicians, and some of the so called gurus of the various scam businesses.

I think it's possible to learn the techniques employed by the charismatics. It comes naturally to the true charismatic, just like the pathological liar. Often they are one and the same. Not to say that all charismatics are liars or bad people, it just seems that crap floats to the top where it's visible.

Is it possible to become more charismatic? I don't think so. That would be like becoming more pregnant. You never hear of someone being sort of charismatic.

Is it possible to develop personality traits that allow one to achieve greater success in sales? Definitely. You don't have to be a charismatic to be a nice, friendly, attentive, and caring person.