"All I got" is LOGIC -- therefore, I have nothing...

TW,

I feel your pain. I used to be exactly where you are.

Example: As I once told my wife, it was 3 or 4 years after we got married before I began to understand how to talk to a girl. (And by then, it was too late ...)

But it took decades before I got decent at talking to people in general. It only happened after I discovered what the problem was ... and what the solution was.

The Problem: there are 4 personality types. They've been written about for hundreds of years, by many authors. You can read my own evaluation of the 4 types here:

The 4 Personalities

You and I are the "green" personality, the analytical. Analyticals have many positive attributes. Unfortunately, most of us struggle our entire lives to build relationships. But there is a very, very simple solution. (I didn't say "easy" ... I said simple.)

The Solution: Listen.

My friend Michael & I recently did a conference call on how to listen. Based on my own painful experience, I believe you will never be successful at either personal or business relationships until you really learn to listen. I recommend you listen to this 33-minute call:

How To Listen

The problem for an analytical is that we tick people off when we talk. Most people don't want to hear all the details we love. And they watch us and they know that we are absolute masters of paralysis by analysis. And most of all, they know we believe we are always right and that we never listen to them ... which is the death knell for that relationship.

So the ONLY answer for you is to shut up and practice listening. And believe me, I know it's not easy.

Richard Dennis

Thanks Richard!

Yes, I see what I have been doing is to ASSUME that, when someone is shown that they SHOULD (logically) do something, they just-plain WILL do that thing. In my mind (see, there's that MIND again), that is the ONLY course of action that "makes sense."

So, in my MIND, as a salesperson, ALL I MUST DO is present the LOGIC of the situation, and the ACTION will AUTOMATICALLY take place (buying).

This (in REALITY) is not so -- which FURTHER makes "NO SENSE."

For instance, when I SEE the logical need for something, I (in correctly) figure -- AHA! That will be EASY to sell -- All I must do is present the LOGIC behind the REASONS to buy, and the sale is ipso facto GUARANTEED / EASY.

Like, DUH! OBVIOUSLY. --- Easy as pie.

Then I go out in the real world + get FRUSTRATED because the real world is NOT operating that way ---- Even though it........... "***SHOULD***"

I can't seem to get past that "SHOULD" frustration. I see that the solution is NOT logic --- but I cannot see what the solution *IS*. (instead)

So, I guess I'm half way there (at least).

I now see what the solution ISN'T -- I just cannot see what it *IS*!

-- TW

I like to (where possible) solve problems ONLY ONCE.

This is so ingrained in me, I ALMOST get frustrated when I must go food shopping -- like, "didn't I already buy food last week, I thought I SOLVED that whole buying food and EATING problem, ONCE!! -- You're saying I need to eat AGAIN?!?!"

I can't stand getting "trapped" by the same problem coming up over + over -- like being somehow "surprised" every month when a certain bill comes due.

But life (+ people) are not like that. They don't behave like robots. They make the same mistakes over and over again -- even though that makes no *** " SENSE " ***.

Things that don't make sense frustrate me! I try to hard to deal with things as they SHOULD be, not as they ARE!

And I keep thinking I SHOULD be able to solve problems ONCE, and be done with that problem FOREVER.

I wonder if any of you out there suffer from the same "syndrome."

-- TW

PS: It's like when the OJ verdict was read. Why were there two different reactions to that??? I STILL can't figure that one out! And yet -- there it was/is. An undeniable (if totally ILLOGICAL) reality.

Richard Dennis nailed in his post. Listen is the key to relationships of any kind.

I have a friend, analytic sort of guy, who was very backwards socially. He felt that nobody was interested in what he had to say...he was right about that. Anyway, he determined to become an interesting person.

He did it by reading and gathering information on everything, so he could expound at length on any subject...and he does.

Thing is, nobody is interested in what he knows and he comes off as an overbearing bore. Of course nobody, including me, will tell him that. In fact there is no way to tell him anything because he knows everything already.

He went about it all wrong. The truth is, to be the most interesting person in the room, you should never say anything beyond "Oh really, what happened then?", or "How did you feel about that?", or "How many kittens did she have?". And so forth.

When you do that, you can keep someone talking for hours. When it's over, you'll know all about them, they won't know squat about you, but...they will think you are the most fascinating conversationalist they've ever met.

Nobody cares about you. Nobody. So, when someone comes along that seems to care about you, you'll think they're the most wonderful person alive. Simple stuff. Defies logic.

May be total BS.

[GordonJ]

Mr. Ms. Mrs. Hey YOU, target.

Here is where you are now. BAD PLACE TO BE.

Buy this and you will be HERE (a better place).

I used to be the most logical person in the world, but now, after taking Gordon's Mega SuperDuper Don't Think, ït's all about them course...

I don't think at all.

But, my bank account is full and I have a bevy of beautiful gilrs at my beck and call...all because, I quit being logical...and started being stupid...

As Gordon taught me...God loves Toopid people, cause he made so many of them (us?)...

Yea, I gave up logic and deep thought, and you can too. But don't think about it, just order Gor'don's course today. Right now. Cause

like ol gordy sez...

Ignorance is bliss. So bliss out now.

Don't worry be happy.

A user.

PS. ORDER now and get Gordon's free bonus, how to pick up airheads without saying a word...(just flash your stash).
******
Yea, I, too sometimes hate toopid people...but, I do like to eat. As the saying goes, no one ever went broke underestimating the American consumer of ___________ whatever.

Originally Posted by Bozo

Richard Dennis nailed in his post. Listen is the key to relationships of any kind.

I have a friend, analytic sort of guy, who was very backwards socially. He felt that nobody was interested in what he had to say...he was right about that. Anyway, he determined to become an interesting person.

He did it by reading and gathering information on everything, so he could expound at length on any subject...and he does.

Thing is, nobody is interested in what he knows and he comes off as an overbearing bore. Of course nobody, including me, will tell him that. In fact there is no way to tell him anything because he knows everything already.

He went about it all wrong. The truth is, to be the most interesting person in the room, you should never say anything beyond "Oh really, what happened then?", or "How did you feel about that?", or "How many kittens did she have?". And so forth.

When you do that, you can keep someone talking for hours. When it's over, you'll know all about them, they won't know squat about you, but...they will think you are the most fascinating conversationalist they've ever met.

Nobody cares about you. Nobody. So, when someone comes along that seems to care about you, you'll think they're the most wonderful person alive. Simple stuff. Defies logic.

May be total BS.

;

TW,

You're doing something you do not love. Even your logic dictates that the person who loves what they do excels with ease.

In their love of what they do, any and all teaching is excepted and incorporated into their daily activities with eagerness.

So step back and take a good long look at the bigger picture of your life. Is this something you really want to do or is it something you're doing to get away from something else.

If it is the latter, you will be just as miserable as you were before you went down this path.

And don't let it bug you if you conclude that it's time to put this down and look for something else. I've done it countless times in my life and I have no regrets. I did find what I loved doing and every morning I look forward to doing it.

Peace and Success to you

Originally Posted by -TW

Thanks Richard!

Yes, I see what I have been doing is to ASSUME that, when someone is shown that they SHOULD (logically) do something, they just-plain WILL do that thing. In my mind (see, there's that MIND again), that is the ONLY course of action that "makes sense."

So, in my MIND, as a salesperson, ALL I MUST DO is present the LOGIC of the situation, and the ACTION will AUTOMATICALLY take place (buying).

This (in REALITY) is not so -- which FURTHER makes "NO SENSE."

For instance, when I SEE the logical need for something, I (in correctly) figure -- AHA! That will be EASY to sell -- All I must do is present the LOGIC behind the REASONS to buy, and the sale is ipso facto GUARANTEED / EASY.

Like, DUH! OBVIOUSLY. --- Easy as pie.

Then I go out in the real world + get FRUSTRATED because the real world is NOT operating that way ---- Even though it........... "***SHOULD***"

I can't seem to get past that "SHOULD" frustration. I see that the solution is NOT logic --- but I cannot see what the solution *IS*. (instead)

So, I guess I'm half way there (at least).

I now see what the solution ISN'T -- I just cannot see what it *IS*!

-- TW

Thanks.

I do love what I do (believe in it). Problem is, what used to be warm receptions, has now become "go jump in a lake." NOT because my service is not wanted -- just because all $$ for it has dried up.

Other problem: I have no other "vine" to swing onto next -- at least not one that will maintain the right level of $$ coming in. So, I am trapped (for now) in a way.

I am working on developing other vines -- but none are ready yet for swinging on.

Thanks again for your thoughtful posting.

-- TW

Originally Posted by ThePromotionalGuy.com

TW,

You're doing something you do not love. Even your logic dictates that the person who loves what they do excels with ease.

In their love of what they do, any and all teaching is excepted and incorporated into their daily activities with eagerness.

So step back and take a good long look at the bigger picture of your life. Is this something you really want to do or is it something you're doing to get away from something else.

If it is the latter, you will be just as miserable as you were before you went down this path.

And don't let it bug you if you conclude that it's time to put this down and look for something else. I've done it countless times in my life and I have no regrets. I did find what I loved doing and every morning I look forward to doing it.

Peace and Success to you

How is the candy idea coming along?

Originally Posted by -TW

Thanks.

I do love what I do (believe in it). Problem is, what used to be warm receptions, has now become "go jump in a lake." NOT because my service is not wanted -- just because all $$ for it has dried up.

Other problem: I have no other "vine" to swing onto next -- at least not one that will maintain the right level of $$ coming in. So, I am trapped (for now) in a way.

I am working on developing other vines -- but none are ready yet for swinging on.

Thanks again for your thoughtful posting.

-- TW

Candy idea has reached the "I need $$" stage.

Best $$ I can spend on that, I think, is the $1K for the coaching.

Right now I am concentrating on lesser "vines" to get *more likely* income. Smaller fish, but more likely fish.

Is that a good approach (to the overall cash flow problem)?

-- TW

PS: Thanks for asking / remembering.

[Dien Rice]

Originally Posted by Richard Dennis

TW,

I feel your pain. I used to be exactly where you are.

Example: As I once told my wife, it was 3 or 4 years after we got married before I began to understand how to talk to a girl. (And by then, it was too late ...)

Hi Richard,

Wow, great post!

I can totally relate!

I remember trying to talk to girls as a teenager... I would over-analyze everything I was going to say. Then afterwards, I would over-analyze everything I said.

My thought pattern was something like... "If I say this, then she'll think this, but if I say that, then she'll think that... What if she replies with this, then maybe I should say this, or perhaps that..." I'd try to "over-analyze" the whole thing...

I would approach talking to girls the same way I would approach a chess match! I would try to analyze all the possible "moves" (that is, all the things I could say), and all the possible responses!

What came through was obviously pretty bland, awkward - and it did nothing for helping to attract girls!

Finally... years later (as a university student)... I figured out that the problem was because I was over-analyzing everything!

Somehow, I learned to "let go" and "go with the flow"... And to stop over-analyzing!

And everything, when it came to talking with girls, more or less fell into place!

When it came to selling, I've been very influenced by Gordon's White Bread story...

As Gordon says in that story... "You can’t do anything well without enthusiasm!"

I think feeling genuine enthusiasm for what you're selling is half the battle. (If you can't be enthusiastic about what you're selling - you should probably be selling something else...)

You have to feel that enthusiasm at that moment, the moment you are doing the selling. And I believe it has to be genuine... (At least for me, since I'm a terrible actor!)

Logic is a part of it, too, but emotion (such as enthusiasm) can be a big part of the equation.

(Though it also depends on what products you're selling, as some cases, I think, are more "logical" sales than others... If a buyer wants to buy a widget, and if seller A is selling widgets for $20, and seller B sells identical widgets with a 20% discount, for $16, I think it is completely logical for a buyer to buy from seller B rather than seller A. Seller B might have also used "logic" to find or make widgets at a lower cost than seller A, which is why seller B can sell them at a lower price and still make a profit.)

Oops, I let my analytical side show for a moment there...

Best wishes,

Dien