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Old January 12, 2018, 04:56 PM
Glenn Glenn is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 750
Default *Can You Help Me Be A Marketing Consultant RIGHT NOW?*

Thanks Dien & Gordon,

"Can You Help Me Be A Marketing Consultant RIGHT NOW?"

...Said the Retired AND BORED Special Forces Soldier on the phone.

We said, "Sure."

"You be My Eyes and Ears on the Ground. I'll Tell you What to do."

Gary said, "Deal. What do I do first?"

(EDITORS NOTE - After a few questions it turned out Gary was both
BORED and HUNGRY and had only 10.00.)

So we Mutually decided to do marketing for a Small Restaurant with one
owner. With our 1st goal. Free food for Gary.

ME - "How much money DO you have Gary?"

GARY - 10 Bucks.

TAKE ACTION - "Ok - go out and buy 5 - One Dollar Lotto tickets."

ME - Can You Drive Around Vegas?

GARY - "Yeah, I got my wife's car."

TAKE ACTION - "Ok. Find this Vegetarian Restaurant. And call me about the
kinds of cars in the parking lot. I googled and it looks like they need help."

GARY - "Ok. The parking lot is not very full. But the cars there are all
Mercedes, BMW, Big SUV's."

ME - "Great. So we know affluent customers eat here."

TAKE ACTION - "Go in and order a Cup of Soup. LOTTO tip the waitress
and the cashier. Then call me."

GARY - "The Waitress said the owner is also the chef. They don't have
a menu. He writes the menu on a White Board on the wall."

ME - "Did you talk to any of the other customers?"

GARY - "Yeah. Most of them seem to be here because their doctor said,
"Eat healthy of Die." They don't really LIKE the food."

ME - Laughing. "Ok. Sounds like the Chef Does not talk to his customers.
Find Out if the waitress or the cashier knows if there are any FAVORITE Foods."

GARY - "Ok. The cashier is the owners Nephew. I offered to buy him lunch
with the excuse that he tell me about The Owners Night Cooking Classes."

LATER - ME - "Where did you go for Lunch?"

GARY - "The Kid Wanted to eat at McDonalds."


ME - "Ok. What did the kid say are the Best Selling Meals and Desserts?"

GARY - "There are only 4. 2 Desserts and 2 Favorite Entrees."

ME - "Ok. Get a pen and paper. WRITE THIS Down. Then Put The 8 by 10
Flyer You Create Under the glass at each table.

Our Two BEST SELLING Desserts Are:

Dessert I

Dessert II

Our Two BEST SELLING Meals Are:

Entree I

Entree II


ME - "Go to Staples or Office Depot. Make 10 Copies. Then show up
for The Chef Owners NIGHT COOKING Class. Show him the flyer. Tell him
You have a Consultant friend who GUARANTEES the Flyer will BUMP Up his
food s*ales by 10%."

GARY - "I spent my 10 bucks already."

ME - "Remember I said GO BEFORE CLASS. Tell him you what you
LIKE about his restaurant. You want to help. You called a Food Expert Friend.
Ask him if he can make those 4 items - that his Nephew says are MOST POPULAR.

ME - "I guarantee he won't charge you for class.

24 Hrs Later...GARY Calls To Report, "Food S*ales are up 19%. And the Chef
thinks he can boost that by putting some of the FOUR FOODS in an old
Freezer -To Take Home - and putting it by the C*ash Register.

5 Days Later - GARY REPORTS - "Food S*ales are up 38% and The Chef
is asking me for MORE Ideas. And I am eating F-r-e-e. So what do I do

EDITORS NOTE - Please notice that the LOTTO TICKET TIPPING is what
Opened the Communication Doors - so we Could ASK Questions. And Find Out
the information we needed to BOOST Food S*ales.)


Last edited by Dien Rice : January 13, 2018 at 02:23 AM. Reason: formatting
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