I need help with this simple little postcard that is driving me nuts...

Jim,

I would start out by changing your "re." line. This is actually your headline, and "Small Town Tourism Ideas!" just doesn't cut it. Fact is, they really don't want any small town tourism ideas, they want tourists. (Actually, that's not even what they want, but it's a lot closer.)

If I were writing it, I would come up with at least 50 headlines to choose from. So something like "re.: How to get tourists to spend money locally," "You can instantly learn to pack tourists into your town," "How to make your town a tourist magnet almost overnight" or "Learn how to quickly and easily pull tourists into your town." OK, those are bad, I admit it, but it takes a lot of work, and I'm lazy. The idea is get their attention with the main benefit you have to offer them, making it personal.

You may not be able to do this, but I have had great postcard results using this technique: On the message side of the postcard, personalize the salutation ("Dear Mr. Smith," "Dear Jim," etc.) Then personalize the re: line, "re.: How you can make Podunk a tourist trap." You could print the cards yourself using a merge document. Get heavy card stock, print full sheets four up, both sides, then cut them with a paper cutter.

Of course, if you are buying labels, that might be a problem. But if you are getting names on disk, it would be a snap. And your results would soar.

I don't think an email address is good unless it ties in to your offering nicely. For instance, [email protected]. I have had the best results by asking them to fax the card. The phone is good also.

I don't like the sound of "Small Town Tourism Ideas!" Maybe just "Small Town Tourism" would be better. Maybe "Tourism Gold." I could be wrong about it though.

You are probably trying to communicate too much in your body copy. Think about something simple, but compelling like this:

"There's no reason Podunk couldn't pull in money-spending tourists like crazy. I have a FREE, no-obligation copy of Small Town Tourism Ideas! reserved in your name. Fax this card today to _________________________ or call _____________________ and leave your name and address. I'll hold your copy for five days, so go ahead and call right now before you forget."

I'm too sleepy to clean this post up properly, but maybe you can get one good idea out of it.

Good luck,

James

James,

Thanks for the great ideas.

I believe I got on the wrong track with this card by trying for a "I've been trying to reach you" type message as suggested by Roy Preece's AdSalespeople newsletter (That's not the right name, but it was a resource Gordon mentioned last week if you remember that.) I just hit a blank wall trying to do that, and ended up with a lifeless message. Maybe I just didn't "get" his concept. Oh, well...

Thanks for the super ideas and I will work on the headlines.

Best Wishes,

Jim Erskine

> Jim,

> I would start out by changing your
> "re." line. This is actually your
> headline, and "Small Town Tourism
> Ideas!" just doesn't cut it. Fact is,
> they really don't want any small town
> tourism ideas, they want tourists.
> (Actually, that's not even what they want,
> but it's a lot closer.)

> If I were writing it, I would come up with
> at least 50 headlines to choose from. So
> something like "re.: How to get
> tourists to spend money locally,"
> "You can instantly learn to pack
> tourists into your town," "How to
> make your town a tourist magnet almost
> overnight" or "Learn how to
> quickly and easily pull tourists into your
> town." OK, those are bad, I admit it,
> but it takes a lot of work, and I'm lazy.
> The idea is get their attention with the
> main benefit you have to offer them, making
> it personal.

> You may not be able to do this, but I have
> had great postcard results using this
> technique: On the message side of the
> postcard, personalize the salutation
> ("Dear Mr. Smith," "Dear
> Jim," etc.) Then personalize the re:
> line, "re.: How you can make Podunk a
> tourist trap." You could print the
> cards yourself using a merge document. Get
> heavy card stock, print full sheets four up,
> both sides, then cut them with a paper
> cutter.

> Of course, if you are buying labels, that
> might be a problem. But if you are getting
> names on disk, it would be a snap. And your
> results would soar.

> I don't think an email address is good
> unless it ties in to your offering nicely.
> For instance, [email protected] .
> I have had the best results by asking them
> to fax the card. The phone is good also.

> I don't like the sound of "Small Town
> Tourism Ideas!" Maybe just "Small
> Town Tourism" would be better. Maybe
> "Tourism Gold." I could be wrong
> about it though.

> You are probably trying to communicate too
> much in your body copy. Think about
> something simple, but compelling like this:

> "There's no reason Podunk couldn't pull
> in money-spending tourists like crazy. I
> have a FREE, no-obligation copy of Small
> Town Tourism Ideas! reserved in your name.
> Fax this card today to
> _________________________ or call
> _____________________ and leave your name
> and address. I'll hold your copy for five
> days, so go ahead and call right now before
> you forget."

> I'm too sleepy to clean this post up
> properly, but maybe you can get one good
> idea out of it.

> Good luck,

> James