Letter Crititque For Deck Restoration Business

Gary:

The headline above is a modified version of something I recall Jim Straw said he ran. I think Jim's ad went something like this: If you want the Akron-Beacon Journal every morning, call Jim Straw on 555-5555.

Notice it is short, to the point and only people who are interested will call.

Why not try something like that?

If you want to get your deck restained, call Gary Creed on 555-5555.

And when they call, go and see them to give a quote. No phone quotes because if they won't have you come over to see the deck to get a quote, there is very little chance of them ever becoming your customer.

As for your letter...

Many instances of "There" when it should have been "Their."

At time you use "&" instead of "and". You even started a sentence with "&."

Telling them you have already looked over their deck might scare them. They'd be thinking you crept around their yard - and when - to see their deck.

As for the Thompson's product... Why isn't it any good? "Thompson's is not too good because it does not contain any UV protection and fades fast" gives a reason.

Charcoal Briquettes? What if they don't have a BBQ? What if they do have a BBQ and hardly use it? What if they do have a BBQ and plenty of briquettes already? Whichever the case, the briquettes offer won't mean anything to them.

Give briquettes when selling a BBQ or even a BBQ cleaning service, not a deck restaining service.

What can you give them? Don't give them anything. If they want to get their deck restained they will get it restained. A "bribe" is not likely to push them over the edge of indecision.

If you feel you have to offer them something... offer some kind of guarantee.

Hope this helps.

Michael Ross.




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