If you had clutter, would you respond to this letter?

[Dien Rice]

Hi Tim,

I'd hit them over the head with the benefits, benefits, and more benefits, right from the beginning... (I'd probably use a headline too...) Spell it out very explicitly... What's in it for them? For example, exactly how will this help them with their business?

Perhaps something like...

Is Your Business Wasting Time And Money From
TOO MUCH CLUTTER?

Did you know - disorganization and clutter is costing you and your business money. All those extra minutes it takes you to find something, or to move something out of the way to get to something else - they all add up. In the end, it means you're WASTING money and time.

How much money are you throwing away with too much clutter - money that could be going in your pocket, or back into your business?

I offer a service to help you get rid of your clutter. With my help, you and your staff will work more efficiently - and that will help the bottom line. Can you afford NOT to get this service?

etc. etc.

Anyway, that's something off the top of my head... I know we have some good copywriters here, though, who could probably do better...

If you haven't read any copywriting books, I'd probably start with "Tested Advertising Methods" by John Caples and Fred E. Hahn, since that gives you some good basics...

I'd probably also start a free email list, with "decluttering tips", and encourage people to sign up for it (on your website). Every time you send out a new "decluttering tip", it reminds people about your service... (Of course, you put a little sales pitch or special offer after each "decluttering tip" you send out...) Since you're targeting businesses, you could even try "faxing" (with permission) your decluttering tips out. (I don't know if that would work well or not - but it might get past all the "clutter" in everyone's email!)

Cheers,

Dien

Originally Posted by Tim Thach

Hi everyone,

I had to change one of this forums member’s special report to fit my situation. I work from 3:00 p.m. to midnight so I couldn’t do this service at folks homes evenings and weekends.

So I thought why not try out the local biz community, I can do this from 8:00 a.m. to noon.

I really only need one question answered from you good people:

If you had clutter, would you respond to this letter? Yes or No?

Thanks!

Are your storage areas or supply closets in complete disarray?

It’s real funny when you see on T.V. the unfortunate person who opens a closet door and all the mops, buckets, and everything else falls out and won’t go back in!

It’s a real hoot alright, until something falls on someone or somebody trips and a Workers Comp. action is filed. OUCH! Now that hurts.

Do you have clutter hiding in a closet, stuffed away in that office corner, or stacked up against the wall on the floor? Take reasonable action to remove falling and tripping hazards and have your clutter gone now.

Do you have Fire Safety hazards like boxes stacked too close to the ceiling, sprinklers, or smoke alarms? Blocked doorways or exits due to clutter? Don’t wait another minute to have this stuff gone.

My name is Timothy Thach (sounds like patch) and I’ve recently retired from over 20 years of honorable service in the Air Force. My specialty was in aircrew and passenger flight safety. As a top enlisted manager, one of my main responsibilities was providing a safe work environment for my fellow airmen. A big part of that responsibility was performing work area safety inspections. I know about the hazards from clutter. And…

Taking care of clutter was an important part of my job.

Often, it didn’t matter whose clutter it was, if the commander told me to “Just get rid of it!” I had to move it and move it fast!

This is how I can help you.

Remember that area where stuff is just piling up, or sitting around taking up floor, office, or closet space?

Is there stuff put out back so it’s out of sight and out of mind?

Pick up your phone right now and dial xxx-xxx-xxxx and I’ll take it all away faster than you can say Jack-Be-Nimble!

--- OVER ---

I WANT THAT STUFF GONE, AND I WANT IT GONE NOW!!!

Right now is the best time to call me. My calendar fills up pretty fast and I may not be able to help you as quickly as you need me.

I charge $25 to take everything away quickly and professionally.




Timothy A. Thach
West Point, Utah
XXX-XXX-XXXX


P.S. I would be happy to clear your clutter at home too. Think about your garage, basement, storage shed, barn, wherever. I only perform this service on Saturdays by appointment only. I charge a little more for this service because there’s usually a little more clutter to move. $45



100% Satisfaction Guarantee. If for any reason, you are not pleased with my clutter removal service, you won’t have to pay me one penny.