The Game & Lifestyle Epiphany

[Ankesh]

Sometime back, I read the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss. It was pretty good actually - quite entertaining.

The book is about: Pickup Artists (PUA). About how Neil Strauss - a geek who didn't look that good - became a master pickup artist and could pick up any beautiful girl.

Some of the tactics PUA use are very similar to direct marketing. For eg: just like AIDA (Attention - Interest Desire - Action), the PUAs also have a formula: FMAC (Find - Meet - Attract - Close).

Then there is another similar idea: of making the person qualify herself. For eg: PUAs will only approach a group. And won't pay attention to the hottest girl - unless she qualifies herself. And shows some interest.

PUAs use the contrarian approach. And follow the rule: do what no one else does. For eg: they will never praise a good looking person on her looks - because everyone does that. They will never approach a person who is alone - because everyone else approaches them first.

PUAs use a lot of NLP techniques of mirroring and choose the "right" words to close. Many of them learn entire scripts and use them word-to-word.

All PUAs work on improving 6 of their characteristics too:

1. Confidence. Many of them take improv classes. And will have goals like: approach a 1000 women in 1 month.

2. Smile.

3. Well groomed. You've got to dress smartly. And dress to stand out. They call it the peacock theory. Wear something flashy so that its easy for people to approach you and start conversations. (Reminds me of Glenn Osborne's chain ties.)

The author - Neil Strauss's before and after picture:
http://theseductionbible.com/images/...and-after1.jpg

4. Sense of humour.

5. Connecting with people. Not only women, but connecting with everyone.
http://www.attractionexplained.com/m...e=socialcircle

6. Being seen as social center of the room.

Marketers can learn quite a bit from them.

Anyways, the first half of the book is about how Neil Strauss became the best PUA out there. But he has an epiphany during his birthday.

His buddies throw a party for him on his birthday. And he doesn't have to work the room at all that night. He is the center of the room. And as a result, he gets a lot more girls hitting on him that night without any trying from his side.

The girl he ends up with asks him the next day if he is someone famous?

Neil Strauss has become a master PUA. He can charm any girl. But he has to approach the girl. He has to "engage" her. Except when its his birthday and people are wishing him every 2 minutes.

And then there is someone like Hugh Hefner. Old. Many people look much better than him and have more money than him too. But yet, girls are attracted to him. He has what - 4 or 5 girlfriends at one time?!

Hugh Hefner has created a "lifestyle" where he doesn't have to engage anyone.

The 2nd half of the book goes on to tell us how Neil Strauss started "Project Hollywood" to create a Hefner type lifestyle for himself. (And how it got dysfunctional because of a power struggle.)

Disclosure: I read the book without realizing the true depth and benefits of the lifestyle epiphany. It came back to me because of the recent posts made by Gordon, TW, Erik and Don.

Gordon teaches us about: getting your feet wet and start engaging people. Excellent advice. But maybe there is a better way - of creating a lifestyle and setting up social proofs so that people approach us and engage us rather than us going to them?

Comparison between Harvey Brody and Ben Suarez.

I don't know all the tricks Harvey uses to find products and opportunities. But it seems like he finds it via various means and then engages the person and makes the deal.

On the other hand, there is Ben Suarez. He also does a little bit of scouting. But he writes a book "7 Steps of Freedom" - the book positions himself as the authority. And gives instructions to people on how they can approach SCI to market their products.

Harvey has to go and scout the market and engage people. Ben has people approach him and engage him.

So: how do you become Hefners of your industries? Maybe we could discuss it here... what goes into creating a magnetic lifestyle?