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CH #25 - Donna Has BRASS OVARIES
Happy New Year Gordon,
It's Amazing what you can do When You Face a Deadline.
CHAPTER #25 - Donna Has BRASS OVARIES
Happy New Year,
One day on the phone I was Regaling Donna about how a little Girl of 14 or so Earned the World Record for Girl Scout Cookies.
She Used a Raffle Based Referral System.
In order to ENTER her Raffle (To win a 2 Day Resort Vacation) You had to B*UY not just a box of cookies. But a CASE OF Cookies.
“That girl had plenty of time to sell her cookies. NO PRESSURE. And an Entire Year to Plan. ME? My niece couldn’t sell hers. Or her Girl friends either. So they Piled them on My Porch - with 2 Days to go before The Deadline.”
ME - Why would they do that?
Donna - “Me and my big mouth. I bragged I could sell 10 Times more cookies
than she could with one hand tied behind my back. And she said, “Can you sell what I have left over? And I said, “Sure.”
ME - How come you had Everybody’s left-over cookies on your porch?
Donna - “My niece told everybody I could sell theirs too.”
ME - Wait. Wait. I remember this story. You called a Friend. You Both put on your Bikini’s and drove from Construction site to Site. Sold a Pick Up Truck Load of Girl scout cookies.
Donna - “True. But we ran out of time that Saturday. Nobody working Construction on Sunday. And Monday was the Cookie Deadline.
ME - So What did you do?
Donna - “I probably shouldn’t tell you this. I’m not proud of it. But I PANICKED. Plus I was not going to go back to my smart Assed Niece and Her Friends a hear, I TOLD YOU SHE COULDN’T SELL THEM.”
“I Loaded all the rest of the cookies into the back of my pickup.
“Then I drove in and out of Mall Parking Lots until I S*old every damn box of cookies on the Truck.
ME - “What did you DO? Hold a Gun on people While they were walking to their Cars?”
Donna - “Not Exactly. But Close.
ME - “REALLY?”
Donna - “Well, You see, I remembered how I saw a Little Girl in the Airport at 1am - She Walked around with a Sign. And cleaned up — selling Magazine Subscriptions.”
ME - “What kind of sign.”
Donna - “A DEAF and DUMB Sign.”
ME - “NO - YOU DIDN’T”
Donna - “Oh yes I did.”
ME - So Pretend I’m a guy walking to my car in a Mall Parking Lot. Drive me thru it.”
Donna - “Funny guy. ha ha. Drive me thru it.”
Donna - “Ok. When I saw a Well dressed Man walking across an UpScale Mall Parking Lot I drove up next to him. Cut him off from his car. HELD Up a sign.
“Deaf & Dumb
“Flipped my sign over.
Cookies - $25
ME - “And You Sold an Entire PickUp Truck full of Girl Scout Cookies - ON A SUNDAY - without saying ONE SINGLE WORD?
Donna - “Yep. But I Got a Bit Punchy at the end. When the last guy said, “OK - Here’s 25 Bucks.” I got EXCITED. Forgot I Couldn't Talk. And I Yelled, “THANKS.”
ME - Laughing. “What Happened?”
Donna - I thought he was going to ATTACK me. I burnt rubber. I could see him chasing me in my rear view mirror — on foot.
ME - So My guess is you didn’t mention THIS PART of Your S*ales Strategy to your Niece.
Donna - “Heck no. They only Heard The BIKINI S*ales Story. I shouldn’t have told YOU. You are a good Listener.”
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